Queen of the Jungle

Elsewhere

2006-03-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

Yo folks! I'm off to a better land.

So bye! It's been good while it lasted.

The old must go for the new to come.

Can I Be Wonder Woman Instead?

2006-03-15T02:28:00.000+08:00

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl		85%
Robin		77%
Hulk		70%
Superman		65%
Green Lantern		65%
Spider-Man		60%
The Flash		60%
Catwoman		60%
Iron Man		50%
Wonder Woman		50%
Batman		35%

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

some semblance of a love life?

2006-02-27T01:56:00.000+08:00

oh no no no.

i've got zilch love life.

that's sad sad sad.

baaaaaaaaaah.

missing memories

2006-02-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

damn.

i am so pissed... diary-x is permanently screwed... and that means all my past entries in it is lost for good! all those memories...

yeah, for those who didn't know, i started my first online diary at blogdrive in april 2004 and kept a secret one running at diary-x at around the same time for those entries that i had wanted to kept protected with a password.

so there goes all the bittersweet tears, kisses and words of the good old days...

somehow, wondering if that's telling me i should move to a new site soon as well... and leave this childish blog behind.

xp

clueless

2006-02-26T12:48:00.000+08:00

a random thought. guys just have no idea how easy it is to win me over.

hur hur.

UnXpectedly Good Night

2006-02-24T04:54:00.000+08:00

Fucking good day.

No regrets zao-ing my hall activity. Why should I when I am blardy enjoying myself?

1) Met her for 15 minutes just before she had to go back to work. Was already satisfying to see her.

2) Got down to some studying at Holland Village Breko with Sunshine.

3) Impromptu decision to go wala-ing since it was a Thursday night and UnXpected was playing! Called the gang of JW, Sara to join us. Sunshine and I bought our drinks before 9 so we had one for one for our Hoegaarden!!! Shiok!

4) Obviously, and very naturally, call the regular barflies who are UnXpected addicts, met up with Makan, Duckhawk and Ruok. And unexpectedly FF as well! It's been so long since I saw her and barflies being barflies, naturally can't seem to veer away from the topic of sex. So there we were discussing g-spots, orgasms, "rabbits", the NYP Tammy sex video and what not during the break after UnXpected's second set. Really, it was good catching up with all of you blogging folks.

5) She joined us after her work ended and I had a great time, head-banging, grooving to UnXpected with her by my side. Her first time in Wala and listening to UnXpected. Same goes for my buddies Sunshine, JW and Sara. And boy, UnXpected YOU ROCK!!! All of them enjoyed the sets the band played and agreed that they are FUCKING-TASTIC!

6) Of course, nothing beats making out in the toilet while being serenaded to the lyrics of "all I want is make love to you"... Hee. Chuckles.

7) Making a new friend at Wala, this server called Jason, who so cheekily stole our bottle of heineken to drink as the place was closing up. But he's a good sport.

8) Advancing to Newton Food Centre after dropping her back at her place (JW drove) and digging into our yummy cockles, sting ray, fried carrot cake and prawn noodles, courtesy of Sara!!! We love you man! And who did we see while we were there? The UnXpected again! Hur hur.

After JW sent Sara, Sunshine back home, we drove back to JW's place and cabbed back to our hall. Thereafter, we talk cock at my block, and smoking for an hour, recalling of our fun times back in secondary school. JW and I have a lot of things in common, especially since we are both long distance athletes and our similar family background. JW, you really a pal I hold close to my heart.

And now, tired me will end here.

all good things must come to an end

2006-02-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

the honeymoon period is over i guess.

it's time for me to busy with my studies and hall activities as she starts on her first day of work at her new workplace in 10 hours time.

i've never expected anything from her in return especially since ours was a no strings attached game.

though it may have taken a different course from its original direction from how she would actually miss me, tell me she misses me, wants to meet me, but it is after all, still a game.

i think i really fell for her.

my heart will take some time to get used to being by myself again, without her at outlet o, with less of her in my life.

i miss you small boy, wei wei.

love, your small girl.

p/s: miryclay's dead. at least for the next couple of days.

happy valentine's day to all!

2006-02-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

yes it's valentine's day.

i can't say i am not blessed, nor am i unhappy not being able to spend valentine's day with her.

in fact we spent the whole valentine's day eve afternoon-night together. watch movies, dinner, back to her place, down to mohammad sultan, to boat quay.

humans are just such conniving greedy creatures who can never be fulfilled or be contented with what they have.

favourite song of the week: so sick of love songs by neo featuring jin.

happy valentine's day little boy :) your small girl.

12th february 2006

2006-02-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

friday:

1) i've finally gone and have my hair rebonded. at 380 rm, for treament-rebond-treatment-colour-cut session, it was simply worth while. and i have to say i am happy with the results. other than the grueling 5 hours 40 minutes of sitting down. so far most have expressed positive comments about the new hair do, though some preferred me with my wild curls! haha! it used to be a crazy wild look and now... i am a shu nu, except most of my colleagues do not think my poise, my behaviour is that of a virtuous shu nu! the one shitty part is that my face looks fatter with straight hair and absolutely everybody insists i now look almost a carbon copy of georgie, my da jie from outlet d! rolly polly marco now calls me "xiao pang"! damn it i am not fat! my face is just round! sobs! but i am so glad she loves it a lot! ;)

2) frigging grateful to jw who drove me back from malaysia customs to hall then from hall to mohammad sultan. he's really a gem sunshine! jw has never said no to all my little requests and favours which officially make him number 1 on my "eternally indebted and to be repaid" list!

3) have i ever mentioned how much i love my assistant manager jadeite and my outlet supervisor marco? they were so forgiving towards me being late! my hours commencing from 9pm, was changed to 10 pm and finally to 11pm when i knew i couldn't make it back to singapore in time! and even then, i forgot to bring my lanyard of locker key and staff card that jadeite had to pry open my locker ingeniously using a key that could fit my key hole since i forgot to duplicate a spare locker key for her! muacks... i love you bakchai!

4) i bought cheesecakes (choc and raspberry) from secret recipe at city square, meant for her and her girlfriend to eat.. hmm...

5) saw michael, but damn him for being so blasé about my new hairdo! but then again, we don't really know each other you know...

6) we had wanted to go down to devils after work but there were 4 boys from outlet o and outlet d who were under 21! bah! went all the way to devils only to move on to queenz at boat quay, which felt super erh... not good! the evil gang made her drink a waterfall in which they requested for bacardi 151 to be used instead! oh my, then this other guy made her down another weird shot... that coupled with the drinks we already had at work... and her own beer at queenz... geez! i was really afraid she would get drunk that i helped her to drink the next poisonous concoction that tasted really vile! YIKES! and her being her, likes to run around when she gets high or drunk! that night she kissed me and i think it was pretty obvious to the colleagues around. she even spilled the beans to jo-n and fads!

7) i am about 75% certain i am 60% in love with her. nobody to tell her that ya? i know i may just get badly hurt or burnt by this kinda liasion but as the chinese saying goes " bu4 zai4 hu4 tian1 chang2 di4 jiu3, zhi3 zai4 hu4 cen2 jing1 yong1 you3". eh, anybody knows the ad for the watch that was linked to this phrase? ok sunshine just told me that it is for the brand soviet titus under citychain.

saturday:

1) michael came down. fuck even jadeite says he has bad taste in women. darn, so i should be glad he hasn't eyed me cos i am gorgeous! muahahaha! that michael is a fucking social butterfly! BAH! nabei. wait, he complimented on the hair. ok i take back my words on how he's blinded with bad taste.

2) batman promised to let me work at platform/wall area on friday night cos michael's coming down, in the end i was thrown at small bar, isolated from the rest of the world! bloody hell! i had so wanted to STRANGLE her!!! grr! but me being so professional, would not succumb to the temptation of requesting to change station! then again, i whined to batman and she had told my colleague to change with me but i was adamant that i stayed on in small bar since small bar bartender was alwie! i like alwie enough cos he's one of the few bartenders with the exception of frankie and indra whom i can play with at work! and also because these three bartenders has usually given me quite a free rein in the bar especially alwie.. he looks tough to work with but he's actually super nice! one day, i am going to ride his R1! steady pom pi pi lah!

3) was feeling really low at the thought of how i won't have a chance to work with batman anymore that i was just solemn and sullen and alwie had to start cajoling me like a little kid and pacifying me with erhm green tea since we are not allowed to drink on the job (officially), especially during the slam whereby, there just weren't enough high ball glasses to serve the guests with. despite me walking around the tables desperately trying to search for even one to wash.

4) overwhelmed at how batman's gonna leave, i sat with ooi alone by the wall to rest. i started tearing. argh. i hate being so weak to not even be able to control my tears. i quickly went off to the toilet before anyone could see so after sobbing it out on the bowl, i returned and damn it, the taps started leaking again. i sorta shocked jadeite and the rest of my colleagues. then i downed and downed the drinks... my i don't even know what i am doing myself.

sunday:

1) was supposed to go suntan with her but she fell ill and so was i, coughing, sneezing and throat all sore. so we stayed in bed the entire day and watched tv.

2) a special day cos its the 12th of FEBRUARY again! 5 years ago on this date, i went steady with darth, last year on this same day, i got to know martell at happy, went back with him and this year, she gave me a memorable afternoon to reminiscent of.

no doubt it was a great day with her from afternoon till night but at the end of the day, i am still walking alone.. :(

i am royally mighty pissed off upon reaching back home only to find a msn message left behind by mv. blardy ruined my memorable great day. my first reaction was fury. fucking hell so what did i do to piss you guys off? i had only good intentions to wish my daddy a happy birthday to drop off a cake and go. the only reason we stayed on and had dinner there was cos jadeite was coming down to pick leng lui up and sakae sushi was closed. who said anything about a party? i did not! i hate it when words are put into my mouth when accusations get thrown at me. i asked sambuca lover for permission, who then told me to ask you for permission, and you mentioned that zaker and ck was around. so i told batman who in turn advised me that i should go through the proper channels of telling my own assistant manager who will then inform the others even if i was just dropping by the outlet to pass daddy a birthday cake! ARGH! so what went wrong? my very simple english that got misinterpreted along the way or guys who simply didn't understand basic english? I AM DROPPING OFF A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR DADDY!!! really your statements were uncalled for. i really can choose to be flighty to ignore your infuriating msn messages or rude enough to ask you to sod off. presumptuous and pretentious. at least my "bf" is nothing like you. there, i am feeling better after letting it out.

".:~MV~ says: (12:22:39 AM)
u hor.. dunno wat to say abt u...

.:~MV~ says: (12:23:37 AM)
there is a difference btwn dropping a cake off an coming for a non-existant party

.:~MV~ says: (12:25:25 AM)
and becoz of u, ur "bf", and jadeite, u juz pissed the whole lot of us off. especially zaker."

rules of the game

2006-02-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

we are playing it so wrong!

i am trying hard in forbidding myself to miss her yet i still do.. and so does she and it sounded as if she wanted me to miss her!

we are caring too much for each other! it has ceased being a thing of physical gratification, her taking what she can from me and vice versa.

we are giving. no giving is not a player's game. this does not sound like baby gjps' games in the past. nothing like it at all.

i am so tormented.

she's not everything i will desire to have but yet oddly, everything i do not mind.

she's so unlike papa bp. so much more mature, so much better. looks aside, she can be pretty charming in her ways. especially when she laughs.

the song "till i hear it from you" by gin blossoms reminds me of her, like how "collide" would remind me of mv, "the reason" of my brother bittercoffee and "friends" by bon jon jovi of darth.

fuck it, i am going for my class then to jb to get my hair done. she likes my hair straight. oh my.

need help with cooking crabs!

2006-02-09T06:10:00.000+08:00

had fun at hall bazaar today, selling ice cream and laughing at jk.

club at phuture with gjps was moderately fun. was neither big on drinks or smoke. the guys are really fugly.

blissful meeting her even though it was just for an hour. our rendevous point is usually behind newsroom bar, then we will stealthily walk out of the courtyard towards clarke quay whereby it is much more remote! we saw a couple going at it outside brewerks! eee i could see the girl's panty!!!

ok, i better not speak so much ill of others since me and her kisses a lot in public too (but usually with great care taken to ensure privacy and at least a certain decorum of modesty), not because we desire to attract attention or stage a public display of affection except we usually meet outside and not at her home! and even so, her girlfriend has friends everywhere who can/may recognize her so we are ultra careful especially in the day..

i am thinking of making a valentine's day gift for her and her girlfriend... a photoframe which i took a photo for them during the ehg xmas party at outlet d. so should i or not?

bah. this weekend is her last weekend at outlet o. damn it. i am so afraid i will cry out.

anybody can cook a mean dish of black pepper/chilli crabs? i want to cook it for her this saturday... so somebody, anybody please help!!!

p/s: i've never tried cooking anything beyond my instant noodles, porridge... you get the drift. so recipes will not be very very helpful for me.

can't be perfect

2006-02-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

i am suppressing myself from investing any feelings.
it's so tough. people who know me know i am an awfully emotional person, i tend to give a lot of myself to others.
i have to tell myself each day that no way am i going to let her or anyone else know just how close i am to being in **** again.
i think sunshine calls this a sure proof way of getting myself hurt or something to that effect.
don't think about it. don't dare think. don't think.

so the new year resolution shall be to play hard, study hard, and work hard.

parting words from her on friday

2006-02-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

i never completed what i had to say regarding my friday night.

you see, after i headed down to happy where as usual ad the bartender will overpour and give me housepours in double shots highball glasses, and given the state of my empty stomach, i was feeling myself to be half way being tipsy after just 3 glasses.

then for the first time, i requested to meet her after work. thus far, it has been her asking me out and me agreeing to it.

so we met and we talked...

the initial disappointment at her words hit me very strongly even though it made ample sense. grow up miryclay, grow up, as i willed myself to nod my head in agreement to her words and allow its meaning to wash over me.

perhaps, her frequency of asking me out had lulled me into a false sense of belief, into believing that it is her who is falling deeper for me and not the other way round. but i forget... that i am a beginner at such a game, and she has already played this many rounds before.

nevertheless, she who sets the parameters changes the parameters too. :) and change is but the only constant in our lives. :)

Fair play

2006-02-06T14:30:00.000+08:00

I privately get a thrill from whatever game I am playing with her.

The gleaming signs of recognition flash in our eyes yet the refusal of acknowledgment beckons at work.

The subtle touches imprinted on each other sneakily a telltale of more to come, of satisfying the cravings I have to kiss her and whatever she feels or takes from me.

What a dangerous game we play.

Last night for example, see us bordering on the unfoldment of our secret exploits.

We met up in town before Outlet O's reunion dinner. Us at cafe Creme Bistro, us on bus 123, us walking towards Tiong Bahru Plaza. Then it was back to the I as myself and she as herself.

Making out in the toilet at Lot, Stock and Barrel, a bar at Seah Street; to me being slightly inebriated after rounds of Heineken and still managing to play Photohunt successfully with a few of my colleagues setting 2 top scores and at the same time holding on to her yet knowingly touching her. Geez, I think our actions of familiarity couldn't be more obvious to our colleagues. And that last bit in spite of her girlfriend's arrival and me wishing her Happy CNY.

If the trio of our friends had been a minute faster, they would have been on the brink of having first sight of our clandestine activity snogging at the bus stop when she walked me out to take a cab back to school, or had I been a step faster, another colleague of ours riding his bike would have incidentally spotted us behaving nothing like our usual selves.

I don't want to ever see the day where I am telling myself this, "You are busted, babe."

I can't tell her I miss her so. This only a game, not a relationship.

my heart took a dive and plonked hard into the sewers

2006-02-04T13:47:00.000+08:00

yeps feeling like shit is the phrase to describe me right now.

i met her yesterday afternoon after school at far east plaza (near her home) where she took a quick lunch before i went rushing off to chingay practice. i got the initial venue of the meeting place wrongly so she actually offered to cab me down to people's association at kallang.

this not good, i must stop myself from falling for her.

i mean, just look at it, we can't hold hands in public (duh it's an UNDERGROUND affair!!!) and obviously not kiss her too!

why oh why? why must it always be a wrong timing for me?

but this good, it basically means she can be my lifelong makeout buddy yeah, assuming nothing goes too wrong between us. she can have a change of girlfriend or even girlfriends but that will not make things between us any more different.

chingay rehearsal was horrid, our performance being second last on the list of 30 events, thus a long wait from 6pm to 9.45pm for our turn to dance, of which it was a delay of 2.5 hours. well, it wasn't much of a dancing for myself anyway since i took over vin's position as the elephant and the freaking headgear being so heavy made dancing next to impossible. my neck, shoulder and back still aches from having to support and balance that shitty big head!!! nonetheless, it has been a great experience so far and no regrets there.

then there was this 16 year old boy from mansjuri secondary who happened to be the assistant for the kangeroo structure i was allocated to push before and after our dance segment and he actually thought i was still in secondary school! haha! what a joke you know! but he's a very cute boy :) i still can picture the shock registered on his face after i told him i am 6 years his senior! had i been younger, i am pretty sure he would have asked me for my number cos he's been trying to talk to me from the start of the performance. alas, he's too young though hmm, i wouldn't mind a bit!

i went to happy cos it was too late by the time the chingay rehearsal ended and i missed my last train back to boon lay. just as i was contemplating to cab back or wait for the dance instructor to give me a lift back, bus service 63 that goes to north bridge road veered into the bus bay and that was like an indication of some sort to affirm my gian-ness for a drink at happy.

alrights shit i am gonna be late for my run... will continue later when i get back!

colleagues and also lovers

2006-02-03T13:41:00.000+08:00

i am glowing.

having someone, albeit not being able to have a status could still prove to be satisfying.

perhaps there's the additional element of adventure, of excitement and of secrecy in my form of relationship..

i miss her and i can't do anything about it.

the nature of her job, the nature of our pseudo relationship, etc...

ceci-whee! nana's ibook is fun! says: (1:33:18 PM)
i miss havin my heart skip a beat too

i think that's what i miss too sunshine.

better than good

2006-02-03T04:15:00.001+08:00

it was a good thursday, meeting marycherry and sunshine to study / get some work done.

it was a good afternoon talking with the two girls.

it was a good buy on the tops we got from carrefour sunshine.

it was a good lunch at brekos eating chicken mushroom creamy pasta and a good dinner at mos burgers eating the beef rice burger.

it was a good 30 minutes spent rushing to meet her, her sneaking out to meet me, us drinking, smoking and parting with a kiss, all done stealthily.

it was a good liberal chat with stellar my hall/block/smoking mate about boys, girls, us, school, her boyfriend and my affair.

it was equally a good conversation on the phone with her.

back to sleep, and school not very much later.

:)

better than good

2006-02-03T04:15:00.000+08:00

unexpected but calculated liasions

2006-02-01T16:54:00.000+08:00

thou attract attached butches?

papa bp: good body, and the way you work
batman: pretty, and a good worker

my, aren't you a pretty one. says: (5:32:30 PM)
oh man.. you've had more girls than guys baby!

wanting more an expectation of sort?

2006-01-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

just as everybody in outlet o mocks at me for being overly obsessive with michael, in which i amended that to be head over heels in lust with michael, but not like the way wellieton puts it "freaky stalker" since all i did was to track him down on friendster and steal a photo or two off his profile and putting it up as my wallpaper on my lappie; nobody or maybe well just that 3 close girlfriends of mine who know about my unhonourable intentions towards a someone in my life currently.

take what i can for the moment and savour what i can hold on to, than to regret what i could have but not cherish, an opportunity of life.

9 hours of basking in tender ministrations and siesta was not as restful as thought. both tired from drinks and work, surrendered to the blissful beckon of seeking solace from risky teasing that the pair might pleasure in.

one cannot help but ask for more. more of her time. however the pre-requisite of such an exchange of favours: no strings attached and definitely no expectations.

i must not fall for her. i must not. tis a game i can't and don't want to lose.

happy 27th Birthday Michael! part 2

2006-01-28T06:07:00.000+08:00

yes, michael came down again on friday to celebrate his birthday with a even bigger group of friends.
this time round, he remembers me as the one who gave him his birthday kiss.
*blush*
and now the entire outlet knows i am nursing an ultra big CRUSH on him!
guffaws!
oh wells, you know pretty boys are meant to be admired like how pretty girls are supposed to be appreciated!
i served him his waterfall! hee.
but i am still as shy as ever, as timid as before, to make small talk with him. argh, what's wrong with me? bloody hell!
so many opportunities but all of which wasted!
after work, while waiting for transport, he was still around, and actually came over to talk to batman while i was walked off to the van, sash called me and told me to go back to the spot where they were! but i was too gutless! boy, i hate myself for being such a wuss!

miryclay miryclay, what has happened to the bold and fearless queen? no guts no glory... ahhhh!!!

i think this may prolly be the last or one of the last few times to see michael around... once i stop working regularly at outlet o, i doubt i'll ever get a chance to see him outside! damn it, i wanna move to bukit panjang!!!!!!!!!

my beautiful martell stays there along jelapang road, my hot michael stays bukit panjang, damn it i am so near yet so far from them all!!!

sidetracked, ooi thinks batman might like me a little. i mean, hey, everybody likes the queen alright? haha, but in this case, it's pretty evident that batman is exceptionally doting towards me! i feel a little awkward (mentally strange i guess) since she kissed me on wednesday when she was drunk. but hey, drunks can't be taken seriously right? i mustn't be too sensitive about it, especially not over the tiniest things like jio-ing me out for supper. :) no matter too big, i still love her most in outlet o!!! will hate it when she quits outlet o man.

tonight was tiring trying to superwonder woman. i was supposed to be working floor section but because win and jo-n both supposed to be at wall/platform section were busy; win washing glasses in the bar, jo-n relieving butler ys for break; i ended up running everywhere except small bar. it was like super haphazard, orders taken at service area 1, orders from indian lady at table 1 whose credit card was held on to by me, to cutting across to service area 2 via outlet t and taking orders, to wall 1 (table) to michael's 2 tables at wall 2 and 3, to the tables at platform... well JUST ABOUT EVERYWHERE! good griefs...

i think i should go sleep, if not i may just spend the whole night going through michael's list of friends on friendster. BAH.

now, here's an eye candy who used to represent the singapore national basketball team at the sea games in 2003... and now a pe teacher (damn my kinda guy!)

be very jealous..

damn i am so jealous of the girlfriend.

can somebody, anybody, wrap him as a gift for my valentine's day pressie??? slurps.

Happy 27th Birthday Michael!

2006-01-26T05:03:00.000+08:00

25th of January started out bad, with me waking up and finding myself being more ill than the past 2 days, which i think was a result of my biathlon training on tuesday evening. fever, sore throat, dry cough, flu, headache...

a visit to the doctor on campus left me with 2 days of medical leave given and 5 different types of medicines prescribed later, it was back in hall to sleep the day away, until 7ish which i was woken up to go for the hall's cny dinner. feeling better then, i went down to join the fivers for steamboat, unfortunately i couldn't stay on for the lao yu sheng part.

now that my make-up computing tutorial screwed, fe1071 lab session screwed, chingay dance practice screwed, havoc cny goodies delivery screwed, quinstical productions magazines distribution screwed, i am not about to screw up work (*chuckles*), especially not when michael's coming down to celebrate his birthday! yes i know i sound like i've got my priorities all wrong!

anyway, batman set the schedule for ooi and i to be working at wall and platform where michael reserved the seats at wall 3! whee! a whole night of looking at my pretty boy and serving him! so most people went and wished him birthday greetings yet i stubbornly stood by watching enviously, too shy and not daring to do the same. oh my, how my knees go weak in his presence, i actually blushed when wayne introduced me and two other servers, win and ooi.

interestingly, this party animal is a pe teacher! unbelievable! he must have been the fantasy of all female students!

by late 1ish to around 2, the poor birthday boy got smashed, puked and had to be sent home by his friends 10 minutes before the club closed. my heart ached for him seeing him in such a drunken state for the very first time in the past months i've seen him in the club.

batman herself, got drunk from drinking with michael and his friends as well! my gosh, so worrying! she also puked!

26th january was a night to remember because (in no sequence of importance since both matters equally):

1) batman - she told me that she dreamt of me one night. oh my. is that supposed to be good? by now, i've grown pretty used to her touching me (not indecently please) on my waist and shoulders and i'll even hug her from behind! but what really caught me off guard was when we were changing up in the locker room, just before she left (bearing in mind that she's really quite gone), she hugged me and kissed me on my right cheek (almost touching my ear!)! hell, what was that supposed to be?

2) michael - it's his birthday! we got introduced to each other officially! and due to meddling batman who's trying to help me... i... i... i... i....

I GAVE HIM A BIRTHDAY KISS!!!

i blushed and his face went red as well! damn, i won't want to be in his girlfriend's shoes worrying about the herds of girls flocking to him to offer their pretty little selves or the ever enthusiastic fans of his, worshipping him like... what i am doing.

*guilty*

but oh my! had i been really bold, i would have kissed him on his lips instead! after which i told win and ooi about it, they went to them, almost spilling the beans. ooi commented that i must not wash my lips now that they have been in contact with his face and his essence imprinted on them! WAHAHAHA!

did i mention he's coming down on friday again with another group of friends to celebrate his birthday???

i know i sound damn crazy over him but oh well it's just a crush and crushes usually fade away in weeks, if not months, unless the person is g lau, my still is big time crush since secondary 4!

was supposed to work on cny eve but... given that ooi and batman wouldn't be, and that batman has plans to go mos... i am tempted not to work as well... it's extra cash though and that's pretty good but bleah, that will means having a less fun cny without these two kins!

ms hobbit feet lim aka gjps, wanna go partay on saturday after your work ends?

i know i am on medication... and tis bad me drinking... but lychee martinis anybody at Happy tonight?

busy weekend

2006-01-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

friday night - work.

saturday morning - overslept for leny's church wedding.

saturday afternoon - rush to meet havoc to recce haw par villa, then back to changi chalet for discussion and night recee of old changi hospital till 11pm. gave sumiko's birthday party a miss. boy is she furious with both my brother and i!

sunday afternoon - interhall track relays finals.
4x800m team first leg: nicole, second runner: seng, third: me, last leg: my brother!
14 halls competed. nicole was 6th or 7th in the first lap, but trailed to the 9th by the second lap.
seng took over the baton and fell behind by another 2 or 3 placings by the time he passed over to me.
i overtook 1 in my first lap, and 5 others in my second lap, bringing the team to a 6th position.
bro lagged by 2 runners and our final position, 8th!
a little disappointed but overall, delirious because big brother complimented and said he's super damn proud of me for the first time in 4 years and hugged me after the great run i did! woohoo!
competed against szelin and bernard (sunshine's cousin) from hall 9!

i am tired.

An ordinary Wednesday night

2006-01-19T10:16:00.000+08:00

Not exactly a night worth mentioning, but a certain "Michael" was around and that made my day. Hah, how easily contented.

hoegaarden, 2 vodka pineapple, 2 sex on the beach 2 shooters (all courtesy of the generous guests), of which the first 2 was shared with jo-n.

it was interesting, watching 2 rich chinese indonesian girls persistently going after our young little un's at outlet o after work. and 18 year-old-boys ain't anything at all like the experienced 28-year-old mr bond, heart-napper (kidnapper) and -breaker of my baby. years working around does wonders for the soaring boy-hood ain't it?

I would really like this man, especially since valentine's coming and it's been ages since i've received such pretty things from anyone. the last i remembered was blue roses darth stuck around the void deck of my block for me when we quarrelled erh, 4 years ago?

busy day ahead. let's take a look at what's planned, lecture at 1230, meeting vin at 1330 for chingay dance practice, african martial at 1745-1845, biathalon training at 1800, then hall road relay training at 2100.

gripes.

what i am searching for exactly mil - i've got no idea, let's just walk and see how. make-out buddy vs boyfriend? companionship's the key.

alrighty folks, time to get some work done and wash up for class!

pretty hungry!

2006-01-15T06:01:00.000+08:00

just got back from work!

damn, i am hungry. and it's mamee for supper/breakfast!

today, was running everywhere from outlet t to outlet o, and definitely not working within my station. pretty enjoyable and it's pretty slack!

anyway, you guys know where i can get jubilee nacho cheese? it's one of my favourite things to eat at work!

it was regular jen's birthday and she bought me a jug of vodka pineapple! :D however, it was finished up by don't know who and i only had 2 mouths of it!!!

was helping alwi at small bar towards the end of the night, and though he's strict with bar operations (and absolutely no drinking on the job), it's pretty easy to work along side him. i'm like his little barback, washing the glasses for him, helping him to measure the liquor when closing bar, etc. we were playing with water and throwing ice down each other's back.

there were only that few of us on transport today, alwi, fads, az, alien and myself and thank goodness i am not the last to get off! alien was! phew! mv, alien and wend no more liao! you can have her back! tee hee.

today's event (vin's company) was serving tequila in a syringe and i dare say the japanese guests were so funnily cute and it was enjoyable, not as bad as i thought it may be initially.

my self-esteem just hit rock bottom, thanks to a week of constant ribbing, teasing and insulting from the peeps at outlet o. thanks guys. how wonderful you have made my days. :P

alright need to be up by 10. shall go sleep now!

falling sick again

2006-01-14T04:43:00.000+08:00

i think i shall pon biathalon training at sentosa tomorrow. ;)

i am tired. the weather has been really crappy these few days, i would rather live with the hot sunny days than cold rainy slushy weather.

just when i thought i am illness free, i start sneezing and my nose starts to leak again! bah! not flu again!?!?

just realised that one of sara's nie friend is the big brother of my cedar school mate/sajc classmate. talk about interconnectivity.

like how airhole knows michael! woo hoots! the power of friendster! :D

now, anybody has any contacts to get bottles of cheap but quality liquor, like similar to dfs prices? thinking of getting a bottle for my studying mate emos whose birthday is coming up!

been talking to wilsen, the ex marketing mate, the past two days and i must say, it's more comfortable talking to him than to emos.

and been so long since i really had a good chat with zenith! :) i still wish your 25% discount extends to liquor too! but you can be sure i'll be visiting you soon to purchase perfume, makeup and what nots from ya!!!

alrighty, gonna sleep and try to wake up early to exercise.

words of an obnoxious high class wannabe pig!

2006-01-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

love-joy says: (1:37:13 PM)
hahaha i only got to page 7 before my computer hung.

love-joy says: (1:37:21 PM)
to think you found it on page 9!

love-joy says: (1:38:28 PM)
it's on page 10 i think. i'm guessing it's the one who lives in lim chu kang!

love-joy says: (2:02:22 PM)
hmm.. he's above average but not one to get my heart racing i guess..

love-joy says: (2:02:29 PM)
*derisive snort*

love-joy says: (2:02:39 PM)
being of the elitists that i am.

my baby that obnoxious pig. hah! i will not stand to let mw get insulted just for staying at lim chu kang! guffaws! ahahahahhaha!

geez, i wake up and find many msn windows all opened. sigh it's 4pm and i am famished! my phone finally recovered. but i am not taking it's status of health for granted. baby, i am so busy lately, wednesday i'll be free to meet you to get the phone. will you be free? need to work?

marycherry, i'm sorry i keep missing you on msn and that the damned phone took so long to recover this time! i could possibly meet you on wednesday too if i can't meet gjps. or either that, it will be thursday after school cos friday is most likely out for me.

SO HOT!

2006-01-10T06:44:00.000+08:00

oh my gawd oh my gad oh my gosh!

i think i found my michael wong! number erh... 90 something amongst the list of 407 michael wongs!

fuck! "in a relationship"... damn words are such an eyesore!

bah! damn, now i can't call him my michael! shits. it's the michael now. blardy hell. okok, a new target please?

oh well, at least it's a second eyecandy to add to my stalk list! haha!

oh he's still a student at age 26??!?! ahhh, loves to play basketball... damn, the last time i played with the basketball team was back in cedar days, training with them and that was when i was like 13, 14 years old?!?! fuck, where got any thing in common? damn it!

hmmm, mw is the same age as mv...

sobs, i want my mw!

i am worth more than 10 fucking bucks!

2006-01-10T06:06:00.000+08:00

nothing spectacular the entire day but small little happenings that warms my heart and fills my empty life.

woke up early and made the effort to attend my first tutorial! my phone is unrevivable and i got lost since i couldn't contact emos where the damned tutorial room is. took me a good half an hour before i finally found the darn forsaken class. much of my morning to afternoon was spent with emos, tutorial, lecture, lunch and lecture again before i left to meet jw. this silly jw left his laptop to use the loo for a short two minutes and he came back only to find his laptop missing! stolen to be precise. poor boy, he's already so broke. this is gonna add more damage to his pocket man! i printed out all my lecture notes and tutorials and embarked on trying to comprehend the mathematics lecture notes and thanks to jw, i got one concept cleared! i must score As! and make up for my first semester! having run out of cigs, the next best person to call was sara! i got one free pack from him! my best friend sia!

was supposed to go down to outlet c to get my old phone back from gjps but i was running short of time, so i gave it a miss.

last night had gotta be one of the bestest night at outlet o. worked at small bar with frankie, win and nette. all of us were laughing, joking and yet i say, service is at tip top! :) plus jare came down with his girlfriend cyn to celebrate her birthday. poor birthday girl got sloshed and puked. today i was the butt of the jokes when i tried to help my friend johan from this idiotic bastardy guy who wanted to shake her hand? come on man, we are there to work, serve but not sell ourselves! fukking asshat said he tipped johan 10 bucks before. hello, so what? i mean, its only 10 bloody bucks, not even enough to buy me a jug of beer! and that asshat, following the dirty looks i gave him, took out a 10 dollar bill and wave it in front of me. i was so peeved! hey, me teaching earns me more than that lah! wave a million dollar cheque in front of me and i may consider! so that was how i got laughed at by frankie the whole night.

frankie, though mean at me, has been pretty nice, making me ribena to drink even though it's not allowed but it's not like i ask for beer!

and this girl, who always gets her drinks from me whenever she comes down, maryanne, has become quite a nice friend to have fun with. she and her friend leanne, even jio me out! haha! she bought me 3 tequila shots, using her brother's money though, which i gave away to jo-n, aman while aman spilt the last one!

what a waste. in any case, me wanting to keep up with my standard of running has decided to cut down on alcohol, meanwhile, the intake of ciggies has shown a dramatic increase. boy oh boy.

tomorrow is training day! sigh, am feeling tired. shall go sleep and not brood over how i wish i have somebody to hug to sleep in the cold night.

i can't find my michael wong!

mw

2006-01-09T07:55:00.000+08:00

since reaching home at around 5ish 6 on sunday morning after work at outlet o, i have been sleeping and sleeping non-stop.

after about 40 over hours of staying up from school, training and work since friday afternoon to sunday morning, i was swamped by extreme exhaustion, to the point i nearly fell asleep while at outlet o. but thank god for jw, his girlfriend jazz, didi max and his girfriend nic, who came by to drink. i was perked up for a while then the sight of my favourtie boy michael got me invigorated! woots! so hot! now my bouncer darling who gives solid massages at work, wanted to beat him up for being number 1 in my heart! shits, but me busy talking to jw and company, didn't have a chance to serve him but my station partner ooi did! haha! this time, i saw his full name on the card!!!

michael wong, gjps! it's michael wong y s! quick go friendster him! there's about 407 michael wongs! and i don't have time to through them one by one!

the bestest moment was when he touched me! wah! i was dancing with batman then the crazy clique comprising of michael (mw) and his friends pulled batman into the group, and me too! i melted man! i would have loved to dance with mw but i was too shy to. ahh... but his touch was golden!

i still recall telling my bouncer darling that my body is off limits even if they try to pay to have access but just for mw, i'll fling myself at his feet! wahaha! i'm yours baby, all yours.

lastly, immensely grateful to jw for the ride home, he and girlfriend jazz stayed on to send me back! that's what friends are for! and it's been chill hanging out with jw, training in school, at sentosa, and also thank you sambuca lover for the treat of carlsberg green! yes and to my sunset boy jas, for the sips of san miguel draft and free use of kayak!

alright, enough nonsense, off for a quick bath and to the library to print my notes! i am motivated to go for classes! i am a good girl this semester!

kakis unite

2006-01-07T04:49:00.000+08:00

just got back home from work as usual.

i was assigned to outlet t today and it was super slack and time passed so slowly. so nd (bartender) and i took turns to go smoke and relak.

saw my cute regular michael and i swear, he was looking at me. oh boy, you're so hot you can look at me anytime you want man! wahahaha!

gjps thinks frankie ranks number 1 amongst the list of boys... but nah, michael is FIRST, az second then frankie and emos last!

emos and i have been trying to motivate each other to go for classes and all and now that jw is back in sg, he's gonna help me try to study and score As! yay!

i met up with jw in school earlier and he really put on some mass there, all the american hugeass sized burgers! i smoked quite a fair bit from just bumming with jw for 2 hours, then sara came and joined us before jw went for his lecture.

i rushed down for the interhall track relays heats but a quarter way through it, the races were suspended cos of the heavy rain. i ended up running with jw after his class.

i've got one hour to rest before i gotta wake up and go for my biathalon training at sentosaat 815am! so early! bah!

mundane school life

2006-01-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

my first training session with the ntu biathalon team has proven just how lousy/weak i have become over the years from not training.
how terribly demoralising it is for that old cedar pride.
i wonder if i should continue training with them.
no, i am not a quitter. if i give up at this point, i will go back to my old ways.
bah, i need more encouragement.

***

on a cheerier note, i've adjusted my timetable (AGAIN!) such that my classes are the same as emos with the exception of our lab session cos he opted his to be on a thurday morning at so damn bloody early 830am whilst knowing that i suck at waking up early, i've chosen the afternoon time slot on the same day.

it's been great so far, that i've been doing my best to integrate into what is deemed the normal, sociable school life. i've not skipped a single lecture (and hoping to keep up with it) while emos the pig, has only gone for two lectures out of 4 in the past 3 days. tsk tsk, in fact, i've gone to school, met sara for a smoke at far away NIE, tried calling that pig whilst attempting to adjust the timetable at the library, failing which to contact him and jw, then went back to hall, and walked to his room to find him still sleeping! he's a worse case than i am!

now the challenge will be waking up early enough to go for my lecture at 830am!

***

hope to see jw in school tomorrow.

it's yet another day.

of brotherly love

2006-01-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

the real big brother. likes to have his own way. scolds me. nags at me. used to beat me up when i was younger. but he takes care of me too. makes sure i eat. makes sure i take medicine. help me in hall.

the next true almost blood brother. zhen. the only brother who will say "i love you" to me, hug me when i am sad, comfort me when i am feeling shitty. run together and now gonna train together for biathalon.

one close brother. bittercoffee. brotherly. but got girlfriend. that gets in the way of brotherly bonding.

hei hei

2006-01-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

blackie!

i just went downstairs to the first floor to feed this black cat that always follow me around, once even to my door step to beg for food. that little beggar. and i'm such a softie when it comes to these miserable bag of bones and skin!

so off i went, and gave it my remaining scraps of bak chor mee.

this cat ar, loves to swish its long graceful tail into my face and hair and looks up at me with such big doeful eyes...

and it reminds me of the ex, darth's black cat with white chest hair called hei hei!

sometimes, memories like these, really make me miss him, porkchop, a lot.

am training for safra biathalon this coming march... must buck up! people wish me all the best! i may join ntu biathalon team to train with! yay! :D it's great to have a big brother in school. i'll miss him when he officially goes off for industrial attachment, no one to look after/over me in hall or buy food for me. fuck.

Speed Dating

2006-01-03T23:41:00.000+08:00

This could just be the ~~salvation~~ answer to my singlehood.

-----Original Message-----
From: Rusli (Assoc Prof) on behalf of Sub Dean-Electrical & Electronic Engineering (Students)
Sent: Tue 1/3/2006 8:53 AM
To: Engineering 1st Year; EEE 2nd Year; EEE 3rd Year; EEE 4th Year
Cc: #HENDRI#
Subject: EEE Week '06 - Speed Dating

To all Students of EEE and 1st Year Common Engineering Students!

Guys and Gals look out! Wanna widen your social circle? Interested in making more friends? Here's your chance!

Join Speed Dating now and you can get to know more friends! Also, you can enjoy $25 Fish n Co Set dinner at only $10 now! And attractive prizes to be won!!!

So stop hesitating and register now!!!

Always at your service,

EEE Club

http://webx.ntu.edu.sg/e3spirit

first day of school so far has been alright, with me attending lecture with annabelle and emos. emos and i are both motivating each other this semester to work harder, and good lord, pray that it will work.

during the second lecture, i connected to the net and started msning in the midst of lecture while emos is slowly falling asleep. he's such a pig. like me. so i showed him photos of my baby, my pretty girlfriends and all, and the funniest part is about him telling me he's gonna look for the one! the one girlfriend! so i asked, "why not annabelle, you guys are close enough, compatible in looks and height and she's basically quite nice?" he shook his head. "annabelle not single?" too bimbotic for him. wahahaha! i am the one for him!!! muahahahaha! ok, that's lame. anyways, i can't overload my subjects since i've been placed on ap/aw grrr and to think i changed all my timings for tutorials and labs just to suit the other two subjects! fuck! now it's too late to change to have the same tutorials/lab with emos, my study partner (hopefully).

went off after class to look for sara and help him search for hostel lodging. and jw will be back from america later in the afternoon, all my smoking kakis! whistles! oh, and i won a casio baby-g watch for participating in juice online contest! whee! took sara to my hostel and this fool sia, he finished my tiger beer and my carlsberg when i went off for track training! idiot!

had a bad migraine when i came back from track, wondering if it was the sun, the cap, the running, or any of the above combination. popped 2 panadols, drifted off to sleep smelly and dirty before my brother bought dinner back for me, made me bathe and settle down to eat. i hate being sick.

i am inexpensive to maintain

2006-01-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

a brand new start to school! i better pack up for classes!

wheee!

:)

i miss having someone to say "i miss you" to.

what a record. i come back to hall and see many msn windows open... bittercoffee, astrealblush, emos, ber, gjps, and my havoc chairman!

gjps, what do you mean by plum jobs? sorry i was away in town when you msned at 7 plus..

i don't know why, but mv considers our exchange of words a quarrel... which brings me to... hmmm... but i didn't quarrel. would you deem stating our respective points of view a quarrel?

quarrel 1 |ˈkwôrəl; ˈkwä-|
noun
an angry argument or disagreement, typically between people who are usually on good terms : he made the mistake of picking a quarrel with John. • [usu. with negative ] a reason for disagreement with a person, group, or principle : we have no quarrel with the people of the country, only with the dictator.

argument |ˈärgyəmənt|
noun
1 an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one : I've had an argument with my father | heated arguments over public spending | there was some argument about the decision.
2 a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is right or wrong : there is a strong argument for submitting a formal appeal | [with clause ] he rejected the argument that keeping the facility would be costly.

well, he was getting frustrated while i was just getting, amused. perhaps it was the funny singing i hear in the background from my hall somewhere! but we were no where near being heated or angry...

and he thought i was insulting his girls. i mean i call people fools occasionally and for me, it was definitely not a personal attack on their intellect (or lack of) but the situations in which they land themselves in. like even i would say that of gjps, of sunshine. touche.

put it this way, i started out from outlet c, and no matter what, it is still one big family even though i've committed my time to another outlet. ultimately, i am under ehg's paycheck. and bear in mind, that mv, my initial point to you, was training your girls up so that they can be more alcohol-trained! that was it! oh well, silly old hamster!

yesterday was a fairly good day, spent about 18 over bucks at ikea buying a new lamp and a set of 3 wooden picture frames. next stop was town and i bought myself a nike sports bra for erm an indulging 50 over bucks. bah. sigh. this is how a brand conscious and quality enthusiastic me fritters my money away. did i mention my boobs really grew? i mean i used to be comfortable m, now i am an uncomfortable m, and almost a comfortable l size. bloody hell, in fact, my 25 levis jeans is proving to be a little tight at the ass. oops.

wow, i spent about 11 odd at crystal jade while having lunch with emos, the cute ex lab partner and neighbouring hall mate, 4 bucks on new zealand ice cream with sunshine, 1.70 at old chang kee, 1.30 for our drinks, and about 25 plus bucks stocking up on milk, yogurt, pau, chee cheong fun, mamee, cup noodles, bread, cheese and oh a can of carlsberg for the week to come. that makes a grand total of 111++ dollars spent in a single day! argh!!! oh my gosh.

i still owe sunshine 30 bucks for her job, 30ish to ah zhen for astrealblush's birthday present and kannasai! i am broke again!

nooo... it's time to claim more allowance from daddy dearest! :P

So full

2006-01-02T17:19:00.000+08:00

Just had lunch with emos at Crystal Jade at Jurong Point. We had beef la mian and shared a tray of xiao long bao. It's good cos I feel very comfortable with him and hey, it's not every day a guy asked me out for lunch! Haha, but quite sad our tutorial and lab sessions are all different! Bah but it's a good start. Joy my secondary school mate, his hall mate asked if I want to move over to share a room with her. Frankly, I won't mind but I'm worried I won't have enough points cos they will be slashed by half if I change hall. Horrids. This is a brand new year and I am determined to make the best out of it. Yes I will pull up my socks and put in more effort to study! And JW will be back soon! So hooray! People leave, people move on but friends stay! Have a great new year ahead folks!

there can never be a lack of cute guys!

2006-01-02T14:28:00.000+08:00

i need to get out and shop, shop, shop!

going out of school for lunch with emos, hopefully if he doesn't play me out!

oh, yes! some company in 2 days!

sick and alone in hall again

2006-01-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

bah.

last night was a riot. my nose was rioting! it was new year's eve for goodness sake and i never even had a drop of alcohol! argh! it was a good day of business for both outlets at robertson walk as we hit the target! there's gonna be some celebration dinner for us coming up!

back to new year's eve at outlet o, i pretty much scared customers off sneezing and blowing my nose away! the runny nose didn't start out that bad but the smoky environment kinda worsened it. i looked so ugly and felt awfully miserable. :(

damn it.

instead of ending work at 4am, i ended work at 2am cos the head was pounding, the nose was leaking, the throat hurting and just awful. but i didn't want to waste money cabbing back to hall so i spent like a good 3 hours waiting for transport, half dozing off, watching colleagues drink while i dozed off with ooi.

i would like to think that i'm not alone out there. but sometimes, i really feel so.

i could pass you on the street without saying a word.
most times, i miss the voice that comes unheard.

have i told you yet?

2005-12-31T16:42:00.000+08:00

did i mention that on that last trip to walas, i pilfered 3 half pint hoegaarden glasses from them with the help of joel's friend who works in zouk BUT unfortunately, as i was trying to retrieve the bag of apples beside them, my butter fingers knocked two of the glasses over and blasted, all shattered into smithereens on the floor! another notion of "what is not meant to be yours will not be yours". grr.

an unfortunate event happend last week when i was on my way to work, i crossed the bridge across the pie towards jurong west, what caught me unaware was an indian man at the end of the bridge, literally. he was standing across the canal, quite camouflaged by the tall hedge of bushes and i didn't notice anything amiss since he was too dark to be seen and i happily walked towards the road until i heard an "ahem" and i realised his presence and what's more is, his pants down! bloody flasher and wanker (i didn't see any ugly parts other than some up-down hand motion)! if i weren't in a hurry, i would damn bloody make sure i call the police and get him nabbed. who does he want to terrorize in the dark? cockroaches? rats? if i had a penknife or pocket blade, i would go nearer and amputate the balls off! grr.

second incident happened when i was taken advantage of. well, in a way, or make it that i was cheated of my fees! it was the inter-hall swimming relays finals for women's breaststroke. i was the second swimmer and bloody hell, there was this humsup supposed photographer from my hall (who has fetishes for scantily clad women and has asked girls to model for his private collection of yikey photos) who snapped a picture of my boobs when i was poised on the platform getting ready to plunge in, so apparently this asshat has got a great view of my cleavage. i don't mind it so much if it was taken for a healthy purpose but in this case, it is just so obscenely bastardy! my friends told me about it but by the time i had wanted to approach him, it was too late, he was no where to be found. told my elder brother about it and he got back to hall and fucked the shit outta that asshat. bloody asshat! i would bloody blow it out of proportions and make one big din to student admin office just to kick that perv out had i not been so busy!

good news on hand include:

1) my hall came in second for the hockey match finals! well done girls, major contribution thanks to weizhen my captain and me of neglible help. haha. but oh well, i get to partake in the glory! mv, does this count for a reward too?

2) my da sao, elder brother's girlfriend has industrial attachment this coming semester and won't be staying in hall so she has given up her fridge to me for just one semester till she gets back next august! whee! at least i'll have a fridge for 6 months!

3) my brother's gonna pass me his vacuum cleaner cos he's also subletting his room to another friend and he'll leave me his vacuum cleaner till he comes back in august as well!

shits, i am having menstrual cramps. bloody uterus.

happy 20th birthday frankie!

2005-12-31T06:19:00.000+08:00

not like frankie will read this and he had better not too...

hall sweet hall!

laksa with jare and frankie at kopitiam near jare's place...

so bloated now from the laksa (and additional hum from frankie who doesn't like hum) and milo peng and the beer at outlet o..

i will get very fat at the rate i have laksas for breakfast/supper!

am fuucking exasperated with the "add subject" for my timetable..

sigh, i don't want batman to leave!!! but seems like it is more or less confirmed... in fact, jare, frankie and batman will be going over to a new place together... and the fact that daddy doesn't want me to work anymore, all the more there won't be a reason for me to stay on! most likely i will just help out occasionally at outlet o when they need me...

bah. life is not good. not good at all.

yes, and happy birthday once again to frankie. :)

wala-ing

2005-12-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

i wasn't expecting to go walas with the old barflies, was expecting a quiet chill out night (most likely alone) with myself at happy or alleys. then the offer came from joel and i took it up.

was some sort of a mad rush from queensway after i managed to find myself a pair of running spikes (thankfully cos its off season for spikes).

in short, the unxpected sets on stage was not in-tune with what i had in mind but fairly comfortable, i had but 2 mouthfuls of macallan while the rest helped themselves to the 3 bottles of macallan since i don't like dark liquors, my preference (tolerance)strays towards the whites like gin, vodka, tequila, rum and that's about it.

uncle maotai said this to me, "whatever you do, just be happy. you have a life that is better than many others."

smile, i am trying to smile genuinely.

eternal gratitude to ah ber

2005-12-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

ah ber, the kindergarten/primary school friend whom i mentioned is residing in the same hall as i am, has saved me once again!

thank god for friends.

overslept the allocated time slot for "ta bao" students by 10 minutes and i was denied access to change my timetable. timely rescue by ah ber who called the student admin office and got the officer to relent and open up another time slot for me.

so far, most of the subjects have been okay-ed except for the ones i tabao and have to retake, which i can only add them after 5 pm, after my hockey match.

bah. i am hungry. need food...

i am so so so grateful... thanks be to god!

retail therapy

2005-12-29T17:24:00.000+08:00

what the fuck does mental requirements met but hmm?
face it, too ungood looking for you?
bah.

my oh my, i think i've woken up from the wrong side of the bed, i am such a grump today. no, i think it is just the built up from my phone that has hung that has made me out of reach from every single person, and i have not gone shopping as intended, not forgetting to include the fact that my timetable for next year is in one big fucking mess cos i'm trying to motivate myself and find myself a buddy (hopefully emos as my lab partner again) who smokes and...

sigh.

i need to shop.

how does wala wala sound to myself? hmm, very good.

good and bad tidings

2005-12-29T06:33:00.000+08:00

i can't get any more depressed. the half beer (shared with jo-n and courtesy of jo-n) and one tequila shot (courtesy of regular customer) and the sight of ultra cutie regular, michael has done nothing to uplift my spirits.

in addition to my favourite doting batman, wacky jare and silly doofus frankie who's gonna leave outlet o, az is leaving outlet d to serve the nation in mid february!!! it was over our laksa breakfast story telling session with boon and az when i found out about it! argh! why oh why?!?!

sobs. sobs. sobs. all my favourites!!!

who will be left to play with me?

i'm so thankful i managed to take photos during the christmas staff party with all of them (except for jare who left early) and 4 group photos with outlet o! but still, i want to cry!!!

i know people come and go like what batman tells me, but i just don't want people whom i can gel with to move on without me! it is so damn awful!

it was like that when i left outlet c, now people are moving on from outlet o, and me?!?!

i've got half a week left to cherish with jare, half a month more with frankie, one month with johan, one odd month with batman and two and a half more months with az!

***

grr and that idiot az ar, to think i bought him a christmas gift and he lost it during the christmas staff party when he got all drunk! bah! how can one lose their christmas gift!

***

anyway, i saw naive guy and barffie the husband-wife duo at outlet o today! they came to partaay! it's been so long since i did! monday's drinking session with the ehg staff not counted since i spent more time playing 5-10, drinking and taking photos than to really get myself all smashed!

***

i'm still waiting to extort my christmas present from az...

***

i don't care, i am going shopping tomorrow! yes, serious shopping! there's queensway, ikea, sim lim square and town to hit tomorrow! i think i will just screw the track training i have in the afternoon! bah!

erh, happy tomorrow anyone? i haven't been there for my martinis for a lonnnnngggggggggggg time!

erh, shopping as well anyone??? cos marycherry the shopping mate has a date with jill and i'm not too sure if i can get anybody to go shopping with me.

***

yesterday (wednesday) was a fairly good day, starting off with early wake up to go for a pre-swim at the tiny but isolated pool at nie to practise my plunges and strokes.

then for the real inter-hall swimming meet relay at src track. i was pretty proud of myself cos i think i helped my team in securing a position in the finals, especially for the women's 4x50m freestyle relay whereby as a second leg, i overtook 4 positions to be in second position until my bloody third swimmer lost the lead i provided! bloody pissed! we barely made it to the finals but thank god we did! breast-stroke was relevantly alright and then the finals.

i called my elder brother and he came down to support (thanks fred!), wanted bittercoffee to come support too since he was also in school, at his girlfriend's place, but he doesn't know his way around.

but after continuously swimming for both the freestyle relay and the breast-stroke relay, i was pretty punctured by the finals. i made another last phone call, this time to mv. (good question why i chose to call him instead of ah zhen. i had wanted to dial for zhen's number yet somehow i called him instead). i told him i wanted a reward if my team got into top 5 and he promised so... except that we got 6th for freestyle and 7th for breaststroke.

i am so disappointed, it was a very close miss especially for freestyle (which i think i am better at!) argh! mv, still got reward for putting in effort? :)

***

but life's a little better with my hall mates now that there has been some extent of bonding and interaction and what's better is i finally found a girl kaki to grass with!!! whee! same block as i am except she stays on the 4th floor! but even then, it is still good news!

***
our hall 5 hockey girls has also qualified for the semis! now left road relay... only enough time to train up my speed and stamina in 3 weeks. possible?

***

i am so sleepy, so very sleepy.

i will write more about 2 gross events that happened later when i awake. nights folks.

and i love outlet o and my darlings!

not working

2005-12-27T19:04:00.000+08:00

i think of the imminent departure of jare, frankie and batman and that sends my mood spiralling down.

bah.

even the photos galore only serve to make me sadder.

meanwhile, i myself, am contemplating on working less and maybe not at all for outlet o cos the grades have been crappy and my dad (being very disappointed with his stupid daughter) ain't too keen on me working. it is not as if i need the extra $364 i earn each month badly. it does allow me more freedom with my expenditure but like what dad said to me, "you stop working and i give you whatever you need."

sometimes it is not just about the money, it is about preserving my last thread of sanity, getting away from school and having a life with people of my sort out there. you know how terrible it is to be staying alone with almost no close friends to speak to in school?

and dad who once think me running is a waste of time, tells me to get back in shape and run for school, representing the varsity as well, so that i can have sufficient points to stay on in school.

in mild depression.

ehg christmas staff party @ outlet d!

2005-12-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

my god, i barely survive the onslaught of drinks.

helped marco to drink when he lost 5-10 to az.

drank when i lost 5-10 to frankie.

in short it was just drinking and drinking and more drinking!

so who got smashed that night?

from outlet o... only frankie! but towards the end, we cheated and ganged up against the already pretty drunk frankie and made him drink even more!

from outlet c, there were nic, yj, binny bin, baby and a couple of dudes who got drunk too!

i had so much fun!!! i took so many photos with mv (our first one! yay!!!), frankie, az, in short almost everyone i know! whee!

haha, i always believe in drinking within the limits especially since it is one ugly sight and awful experience to merlion non-stop and end up with a hangover. damn, i was so close to reaching there! anyway, there are ways to appear having drunk a lot yet actually not so! remember, the liver can only metabolise the alcohol at 10mg per hour! and that means 2/3 of a beer and 30ml/a shot of hard liquor!

oops, i left my skirt at batman's place and my christmas present outside outlet o! i'm drunk too!

merry christmas to all my dear friends

2005-12-25T12:48:00.001+08:00

friends will always be will friends, no matter how far apart. reach for the phone and dial.

and there i must practice what i preached.

***

i think the whole essence of relationships is being happy, true?

i haven't been happy for a long time.

***

i don't have a thing for frankie. a soft spot not equals love.

merry christmas to all my dear friends

2005-12-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

soft spot

2005-12-25T06:54:00.000+08:00

cute

funny

perry ellis boxers

20

tall

scaredy cat

hume park 2

BAH

not so happy

2005-12-25T06:12:00.000+08:00

something is missing, something is lacking.

and i am not very happy. even now after all my drinks.

tonight was one of the boringest saturday night at outlet o. there wasn't a mega crowd as expected. even wednesday and friday's turnout was better! the only redeeming factor was the post work drinking and fun. it was like "po shui jie" with every one drenching each other with jugs of water. batman was the wettest but i had an awful drenching of red wine and water, thanks to marco and two evil boys!

friday night was so much more fun with madhats jare and frankie! they have gone up a notch in teasing me about mv, to the extent of calling me mrs yeo!!! growls! absence does not make the heart fonder... the sucky part of friday night was being the last to drop off cos there were only 4 of us on the transport, az, fads, alw and myself and i was the furthest away since there isn't any at jurong west! to think i was teasing frankie about being a scaredy cat cos of our haunted transport but i was worse! so worried that the uncle will ask me "who" is sitting at the back and where to drop off!

it's quite sad. i think jare and frankie not gonna be working at outlet o anymore after next week! that will leave two less fun drinking kaki around...

BRR! it's so cold right now with the rain... perfect weather to sleep in except that i can only sleep 2 hours before i wake up and try to rush to church...

i miss having someone to snuggle up to under the duvet...

yawn

2005-12-23T05:14:00.000+08:00

caroling performance at great world city was a little crappy today.

it was dull at outlet o tonight as well.

but a few eventful things.

which i would write of later. now i am so sleepy i can barely keep my eyes open.

not guilty as charged

2005-12-22T07:13:00.000+08:00

oh my oh my, i've turned into a vcd/dvd junkie!

can't believe it but i actually manage to dug out meteor garden 2 from home and another taiwanese drama as well to watch in school. and i am actually addicted!

oh no!

i can't be turning into a belated F4 freak!

no no no, it can't be! must not tarnish my cool reputation!!!

it was slam at small bar at outlet o today, till i almost had no time for break. damn it, i hadn't wanted to smoke for the sake of preserving my voice for the christmas caroling but it was the only way i could rid myself of fatigue.

swam in the morning and afternoon before going for a christmas caroling session at garden hotel at balmoral road before rushing off to work at outlet o. so tired.

today is yet another day of running/swimming/caroling/waitressing!

i have no time no time no time for myself to take a breather!

and i still need to shop for christmas present for sunshine, marycherry, and a few other friends plus one compulsory gift exchange with havoc committee members! no time!!!

got a little irritated with frankie today when he went on and on about mv! bah! there was never a beginning!!! and i was not going after him! i mean, asking him out (which he did ask me out once as well though that never materialised), talking online nor agreeing to wait for him does not equate chasing him?!?!?! i mean, i didn't take initiative in many instances! bah! makes me sound like i am some desperado! poo!

damn this frankie! i so want to box him ar! he ar, flirt flirt flirt with girls today, even got girl give him her number, cos he was in charge of the ladies bar tonight. but he was funny when we were talking about our haunted transport! he was like a big baby, i mean you see him tall and big but he's one big scaredy cat!!! lol!

so there, another short update on my busy bumble life! damn, i also want to take new year's day off can...?

fuck hall

2005-12-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

fucking pissed!

i mean, after, all that shit commitment to hall and still insufficient points to stay?

i seriously just want to heck the whole staying in hall idea and shift back home. i don't have to waste my precious time on so darn many activities that doesn't bring in anything for me. what for right?

upset.

and stomach hasn't been feeling too well, nauseaous and all plus fever the whole of today. life can't get any worse.

hall sucks!

lau sai!

2005-12-18T17:31:00.000+08:00

i am having diarrhoea! i have gone to the toilet twice! and i can about sense yet another session coming. i even feel like vomitting now.

must be the food i ate at barracat just now during astrealblush's 21st birthday dinner. i think i had too much sashimi, raw fish and raw oysters! yikes! even my poop smells fishy!

ARGH!!!

this is what you get from over-eating at a buffet! i wanna puke!

nights and out!

of tall cute boys

2005-12-18T06:41:00.000+08:00

I just had the first decent meal in 3 days.

friday: mushroom soup with crackers for brunch
saturday: maggi whipped potato from 7-11 after work at outlet o, macs fries+ice milo+maggi whipped potato for late lunch/dinner and ice milo before work
sunday: laksa from jurong west kopitiam for breakfast

i met botak while waiting for my drinks with a colleague at one of the muslim coffeeshop at mohamad sultan and he's no longer bartending at happy! instead, he's at ministry of sound cos the pay they are offering is so much higher! tempting sia!

work started out pretty slow. it didn't help that none of my closer girl colleagues were working in my station, johan assigned to outlet t, ooi changed from floor area to small bar area and my darling equally crazy counterpart madhat alcoholic jo-n was on leave, so much part of my entertainment came from small bar area where frankie and ooi were.

the only thing i could say i am glad of is, with sash as butler, we talked a lot more and i guess i was mistaken about her. not that she's unfriendly, but the fact that we haven't had much opportunity to work together hence she seems very distant and uptight to me.

then just as i was getting despondent from the boring work, batman, so ever nice, sneaked me to small bar area and heh... got me a b**r! woohoo! thirsty we are! love love love her!

on two of the many occasions i strayed from my section to small bar, i picked up orders for waterfall and since frankie was the bartender at small bar, he so cutely complained of me giving him extra work to do! funny! and once, he was bending down and as he stood to rise up, he hit his head against the glass i was carrying! thud! haha! and this frankie will tease me on and on about mv and it is not really about what he teases me about that intrigues me but the process in which the whole exchange of teases and threats and favours happen, just like how ps and gjps were like initially. nice, frankie owes me one favour! wahaha! will make him buy me chocolates!

the best part of the night wasn't how me and frankie laughed at each other, but when the regular hottie/cutie mr m, came!!! woohoo! he ordered a jug of beer from me!!! gasp gasp gasp!!! blasted, i was so hoping he would use his card to pay so i could find out his surname but he ended up paying cash! grrr! but so cute... tee hee, i was very sure he was looking at me. hahaha!!! but he look like the chao buaya type so hands off!!! i can't stop smiling at the thought of him!!! must track him down on friendster!!! argh!

there was a mega big fight in outlet o today, bouncers came, guys resisted and even hit one of the bouncer, police came. disgusting. glass break, blood shed. stupid things people do when they get drunk.

went for laksa with the guys on the west transport after work ended. i am not too comfortable with vin touching me like he has known me for a long time, though i have helped him out for two of his events so far. and i found out ah boon is from malaysia and that silly az is only 20 years old! my gosh, even younger than i am! hell, i like guys who can make me laugh a lot, like mil. and az, despite all his silly comments and corniness, is quite nice to talk to. he makes me feel very comfortable. he gave me a ride back to hall and i tell you boys can be so sweet at times.

fucking hell, i am dozing off by the study table in front of my compute.. nights. and i love the handsome boys around me. :)

life in a blurry haze

2005-12-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

have been really busy these past few days...

numerous parties to attend but none i had time for...

1) sandra's party which i overslept cos i was too tired from work and running and swimming and couldn't rush down cos i had work

2) mos opening party which i have been sent invitations but work at outlet o obviously means no room for partying

3) barffie's and naiveguy's housewarming party which i don't think i've got time to attend.

4) christmas dinner by havoc on the 23rd, christmas dinner amongst smart science colleagues...

ARGH! i am supposed to be relaxing during the school hols!

bah.

so far, shin from outlet d has provided me with 2 jobs... and both are pretty well paying so i am not complaining! i mean i earn 40 bucks from just singing christmas carols for half and hour! and today's job involve serving coconuts and perhaps dancing, and that will be another 60-80 bucks for 3 hours!

no time to waste, i am off for yet another hectic day ahead! where got time for beach at all man? outlet o outlet sup say we can all go to outlet's c event today... but nobody to accompany me down... sian. so i guess its back home to sleep!

ache ache ache

2005-12-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

too tired for words.

later in the day:

8am - hockey training
10am - qp caroling practice
9pm - o bar work

in between the hours from 12pm when qp caroling practice ends to start of work at o bar, i have arranged to go for another hockey training with my younger sis and for an extra swimming/running session!

nights folks.

my heart is aching too.

fun fun fun!!!

2005-12-15T05:22:00.000+08:00

today work at outlet o was soooooooooooooo fun!!! oh my gosh, i am falling in love with this outlet more and more.

highlights of the day:

1) regular hottie/cutie, mr m!!! tamade his body damn damn damn hot!!! face equally hot! drools....... did i mention how many times his body brush past mine??? WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! wait, i think i ~~spotted~~ spied him looking at me? of cos i was stealing glances at him but if he wasn't looking at me, there wouldn't have been any eye contact exchanged!!!

2) free drinks after work! yay baby yay!!! carlsberg draft, bacardi breezer peach, bacardi breezer lime, vodka pineapple, vodka redbull!!!

3) the colleagues are so nonsensical, blardy hell, jare and frankie keep teasing me about mv. damn it but how did they know about it??? nobody really know about it other than batman, my qing ai de...

4) west side transport rocks man! the people are so fun, az, vin, fads, sash, jare and frankie are all so lovable!!! heh, given a choice, i won't mind dating frankie and az since both are VERY tall and not bad humsum!!! WAHAHA!

anyways, today is good day! very very goood day!!! vin, outlet d floor staff, approach me to do events for him and he has got quite some good lobang, and meaning i will have more jobs for more havoc group in hall and plus he wants to set up a dance team... the first person i am thinking to recruit is DELL!!!

and jare ask if want to go beach tomorrow, i think i will be damn tired. imagine beach in the morning, then smart science then track training then hockey training then individual swimming session... ARGH! tired with a capital T!!!

ok i need to catch some valuable sleep first!!!!!! what can i say but i love O BAR!!! whee!!! work at mos? nah, outlet o is more than good enough!!! beats me teaching smart science any time!!!

tired

2005-12-14T12:38:00.000+08:00

arms, legs, body aching, voice box cracking up...

running, havoc meeting, qp christmas carolling practice, and back to havoc meeting... argh!!!

more to come! i need to go swim and run!!!

no time to even go beach to tan!!!

okok, enough said. right now, i need to rush back home, hopefully possibly go for a quick swim then out to meet my darling marycherry!!!

damn my bloody vice. smoking has made my voice horrible!!! and that freaking tongue stud gets in my way when i run, swim and sing! blasted myself, darn! why did i go do it in the first place sia?

:(

i wanna go kayak!!!

2005-12-12T12:42:00.000+08:00

been feeling lazy to update on my not exactly hectic but still busy life.

busy sleeping, eating and more sleeping and then more sleeping.

today (monday, 12/12/05): just swam at my house pool. thinking of popping down to sunset and go kayaking. there's hockey training at 6.30pm in far away ntu, not too keen.

yesterday (sunday, 11/12/05): went home after supper and extended drinking (4 bottles of 640ml heineken) with batman and nette. those who were there having breakfast only included marco, jadeite, another ex ehg manager (whatever his name i can't recall) and ehg cashier-outlet o bartender couple. quite high, took 54 from chinatown, overslept and alighted a stop just before bishan terminal. crossed road, boarded 54 again, this time conscious effort to keep awake and get off the right stop outside marymount. two long bumpy rides + bloated stomach + over-drinking = puke! yikes, thankfully over the grass. but was a disgusting sight, puking as i walked. poor security guard at the guardhouse just beside the marymount entrance/exit must be mortified by such oddity early morning at 8 plus. naturally, the house of the lord was out of the day's agenda. woke up around 12ish 2. bummed for a while before deciding to meet sunshine. walked around town, shopped for my goggles (finally got it) and the twenty dollars gift for ehg christmas staff party on the 26th, and went for dinner at oa bakery (cheap spaghetti set meals for $5!!!) and went home.

the day before (saturday, 10/12/05): slept most of the day cos gjps cancelled beach outing with ah shan to visit vj, then i think i convenientlly overslept for sandra's birthday party (yipes, sorry!!!) before a frantic rush to work. brother bittercoffee came down cos it was his army buddy, guardian tl's birthday. thanks to guardian tl for a complimentary tequila shot and sips from the bro's beer. :D i think i had better not write too much about our particular habit during work (batman, nette, jo-n, aman and myself) lest i get every single person into trouble. post-work drinking with outlet o colleagues while waiting for transport and outlet d has been fun! 2 jugs vodka pineapple, 2 jugs vodka cranberry, 1 jug bourbon coke, 2-3 jugs beer to share. where got enough?!?!

3 days ago (friday, 09/12/05): tired from late night talking with mv. swam awhile. supposed to meet brother bittercoffee, but too tired, met sunshine instead and bumped into brother with girlfriend tourist trophy later on. went to work.

recap out.

raindrops keep running down my face

2005-12-09T03:41:00.000+08:00

one, two, three.

i am gonna stop at three. i will make myself stop at 3.

damn my caring brother bittercoffee on msn..

Bittercoffee : " Hows Its Gonna Be....." says: (3:38:27 AM)
nana..how can life be so sad if its not abt love?.

fuck and now 4 drops of fat tears have rolled down.

i am so damn fine everyone just don't know how much.

whatever will be will be

2005-12-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

just got back home from a little drinking with didi, nic, gjps, tim-san, sambuca lover, famous grouse, and binny bin at cable car at cuppage.

didi's gonna be going into army later at 10 so it's some sort of farewell drinking session.

things have changed very much since i left outlet c...

i guess people change, people move on and that kinda stuff... and well, i can't really complain about my life since i am very happy at outlet o...

i just feel as though..

oh well. i need to move on. seriously start life on a new platter? my life can't revolve on the past.

Artist/Band: Adams Ryan
Lyrics for Song: Nuclear
Lyrics for Album: Demolition

This is where the summer ends
In a flash of pure destruction, no one wins
Go nuclear. Nuclear.
The violets in my eyelids goin' red
Sentimental geek
Shut up and go to sleep

The calm, the beach and the remains
Of the bathing suits and Porsches all in flames
Go nuclear. Nuclear.
When I saw her and the Yankees lost to the Braves
Sentimental geek
Shut up and go to sleep

Give me an answer

Insults

2005-12-07T13:54:00.000+08:00

Thus far, the food has been great, my maternal relatives solid, except that I haven't taken a fag since leaving sunset on sunday at 8 to meet my family. It's ok since there has been little temptation, other than my uncle who smokes and a paternal cousin whose lingering smoke I smelt. Now getting my hair permed and hopefully enough time to get it dyed too. More updates later.

Ma ma mee

2005-12-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

That is what my cousin's 1.5-year-old daughter, my very pretty and adorable niece, will cry out, each time she sees my elder brother. Yes, my brother is a little fierce looking and I guess it kinda scares her though she's perfectly alright with me. Any case, my uncle, her grandfather, has taken us in and we'll be staying here for the night and us siblings will leave on Wednesday night whilst mummy will take the coach back on thursday or even later. My brother thinks I am lesbian with a girlfriend and I don't see the need to correct him. My cousin asked about me dating etc... It's boring over here and I think I will go sleep. Nights.

My Gramps

2005-12-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

Hey baby, hey dear, I'm in my granny's place in ipoh right now... Spent 45 minutes standing by her bed with my elder brother and younger sister listening to her talk about the past. She exaggerated on her injury and of how she's dying to get all of her sons and grandkids to go back and visit her. I don't blame her a bit especially since she's a little senile. The old house have changed in many ways since I last came back 6-7 years ago. Have quite a few pictures to upload later. All I can say for now is I feel as though I'm tracing my roots.

My Sayang

2005-12-04T06:01:00.001+08:00

A very pleasant surprise to see my sayang CT today at Outlet O. Apparently, the shortage of cashiers had required her to work tonight in addition to her hours at Outlet C in the morning.

But it was good... talking to her and working together, something I really miss.

Hmm, today was a little crappy at work, my partner Ooi and I were allocated to work in the section platform/wall area for bottle sales and there were many many rude and goddamned irritating customers. FUCK you all.

The best way to end the night was having beer, vodka pineapple and vodka orange to drink.

Took the north transport home again, and all of those on the same transport were staff from Outlet D, well, since I was the last to get up after haggling with the driver auntie and another driver uncle as to who to send me back, I boarded the same van I took the morning ago, only to find that the last available space was beside Alien.

He's ok I guess, from the way he spoke to me first and all, doesn't entirely sound a big jackass picture that MV painted of him. He asked me about life back in Coastes, about Sambuca Lover, about "ah soh", in which I wasn't inclined to talk too much regarding the latter, lest I reveal anything. I got a peek at his mobile's wallpaper which was... Wend's picture. Oops.

So he mentions going to Bikini Bar next Sunday... which oh well, is none of my business.

Alright, time to close shop. Nights folks.

My Sayang

2005-12-04T06:01:00.000+08:00

Sei

2005-12-03T05:18:00.000+08:00

Just got back home from work at Outlet O and today cos I was returning home to Braddell instead of hall at Boon Lay, I naturally had to take another transport, and out of those on board, I only know Di-N the cashier, and even then, I am not very familar with her.

Angel's birthday today so 2 jugs of free vodka cranberry after work in addition to her 7 shots of different liqour. I drank 3/4 jug of vodka cranberry in less than half a mnute and a tequila shot plus half a beer during... and i can say that I, I am a little sei.

Am very tired from working non-stop, teaching and then waitressing.

Sleep time.

i love coastes!!! happy night! ;)

2005-12-01T03:58:00.000+08:00

i am feeling very happy from drinking since i've got to chinablack... with sheryo, gjps and sunshine... a pity maggy mag had to go back home...

chinablack was like a ghost town man...

and then proceeded to phuture... boy am i so glad that sheryo could get the bouncer to let us in cos the queue was so blardy long... and freaking packed!!!

then went to dbl o to meet the coastes peeps... sigh... no matter how happy i am at o bar, i think my heart ultimately still lies with the peeps at coastes... so happy to see burnt paper my papa, jfk my daddy, ct my sayang, kel my ex floor cap, antz the hardworking one and mv!

very happy from all that drinks i had... and talking to my friends at dbl o, o bar and the funny bouncers!!!!

this is a very good night.. 1st december i will remember this night!!!

if there is someone i have to thank, that's sambuca lover! thank you very much, really heartfelt thanks for making my night SOLID!!!

I LOVE COASTES, always have and always will!!!

p/s: i am not saying this cos i am high, in fact the bath that my sister made me take cos i am bloody stinko has sobered me up alot! i really really really really love coastes peeps! ahhhh! i love coastes!

Another backdated post

2005-11-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

Last night was a revelation of some sort regarding the status of my heart.

I really do hate the way that despite after such a long time of telling myself to let go, MV's still deeply etched in my heart.

I was told that that my crush, Martell, no longer works at Happy. WTF?!? Where the heck can I go to stalk him man? He's one darn pleasant eye candy! Maybe defecting to the new MOS that's opening soon.

Bad shit happened...

So tonight marks my second night sleeping out of my own bed in hall/home. I am on Robin's spare bed right now typing this.

On to something happier in my life currently.

If there's something about the colleagues around me, I can safely say that other than the close friends I have in Coastes (Binny Bin, Didi and CT) and the new found good pals in O Bar (JO-N, Ooi and Johan), there are three other people whom I have grown to really appreciate/love/treasure and that's JFK daddy and Leng-Lui cashier from Coastes as well as Batman from O Bar.

Sometimes, I feel that JFK really do genuinely care a lot more for me personally as compared to MV, maybe at least outwardly, though I know both care equally much for my welfare as their staff then and ex-staff now. As I bade my farewell to him after a drink at this soccer chill out place at Prinsep Street, he so warmly extended me sincere wishes to take care and that if I were to ever run into trouble in O Bar, to not hesitate to call him up for help and we left each other with a hug. He may appear to be one damn stern guy but when it bottoms down to caring from the heart, JFK is just swell.

The same applies for Leng-Lui who looks like she can devour you whole for breakfast, lunch and dinner, a toughie with words and damn stringent about cashiering procedures but a real big softie/nicetie at heart.

Batman... ah, simply a floor captain I never had. Either it's because I am new, therefore she dotes on me a lot but I think it is more a soft spot for me that makes her sayang me in a way that just, well, makes me feel like a big baby sometimes. She sets a high standard and expects a lot from her floor crew yet allows leeway for our mistakes. Awfully nice and generous, she's as golden as Jadeite and Marco are.

I can't figure out what's exactly wrong with me but my heart is feeling exceptionally unsettled, as though I've been through hell and back in the weekend that has just passed.

More fucks

2005-11-30T02:19:00.000+08:00

More responsibilities to bear after today's Havoc meeting in school:

1) arranging for bash
2) sourcing for campsites
3) choreographing dance steps for the freshies next year...
4) canvassing for jobs..

4) is an ongoing task for me cos I am the Biz Mag so can't complain about my job scope

Hopefully I will be able to enlist Dell's help for 3)

And 1) and 2) means more liaising for this week since I need to present budget to my main committee by next Tuesday.

God save my tired ass.

Note to self: No more smoking to save throat for caroling practice and minimal drinking to save money. The hole in the pocket is getting bigger. VERY BIG.

HELP!

I lost my ring! Damn it! And I downloaded a faulty episode of smallville, got video no audio!!! Chao Ka-Li-Pok! Nabei!

Busy bumble bee

2005-11-29T04:44:00.000+08:00

Blardy hell!

1) Inter-hall game training for running, swimming and hockey and my personal vested interest in brushing up on my volleyball skills to pit against primary school friend Ray

+

2) Smart Science teaching bratty kids of various ages

+

3) Work at O Bar at the unearthly hours

+

4) Havoc meetings, canvassing for jobs, choreographing Havoc dance...

+

5) QP caroling practices and carol performances

+

6) Numerous birthdays / celebrations to attend

= A freaking stressed up holiday!!! Argh! KNNB! I need to quit my cancer sticks if I want to be able to sing! Fucketty fuck.

FREEDOM backdated 10hours ago!

2005-11-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

This topic of discussion has been brought up countless of times since working in Outlet C.

Rank the boys/girls.

For me, the girls have been fairly easy cos there aren't many to begin with.

I can count them off one hand. That was back when I was still working. Now... I am not too sure. I guess the most attractive one thus far (past and present) has got to be Michelle Pretty. Nicely shaped perky ass! Whistles! A little pan-asian look though I say she looks more hawaiian.

Followed by Michelle cashier! She may be 30 (or is it 31) but she looks damn good, as though she has never given birth!!! Got a lot of "sei" especially when she issue her standard "stern looks".

That's about it... GJPS won't like it if I were to say that ~~Ame comes in third~~ or mention anyone else... so I'll stop here.

Ah, guys wise... many discrepancies in opinions all around with their varying tastes and basis of judgement. For me, it's the masculine factor and general charisma plus looks.

Many must guess that MV ranks first on the list... but WRONG! He's second cos daddy JFK is first!!! Most people at first glance will notice MV (as did one of the O Bar trainee Johan who went over to Outlet B to work on one Sunday) but JFK has a more "nai kan" or lasting look. A man's man look. Aiyar I don't know how to thread it in words, if not this entry is going to get distorted.

MV... an acquired taste? I don't know. Don't want to write much either.

Third's a tie between Binny Bin and my Didi. Didi looks very good actually, better than Binny Bin, especially with his punk boy style and Jap hairstyle. Ah bengish looking but tall, lanky frame with good bone structure makes him stand out, way way out! But Didi is but 18, and a kid is still a kid which makes Binny Bin more appealing.

Joey will be excellent in terms of his body, but face wise, not my kind I guess.

Don't worry, if you are not mentioned on the list, it doesn't mean you are not cool/good-looking enough but there can only be a top three.

I would have loved to attach a photo for each member but this blog is pretty much anonymous so oh wells!

What a lame entry. Good night, 10 hours more to holiday and freedom!!!

When love turns sour

2005-11-17T05:54:00.000+08:00

I really don't concur with MV's stand on hatred, revenge and graciousness=loserish.

I mean we all know about the saying "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" blah blah blah, it's written in the Holy Book even, but God also mentioned about loving your enemies as your own, and I can go on to quote many other biblical references but because MV does not believe in God, I have no idea how to make him see my point.

Why create a vicious cycle of enmity? All these bad blood leads no where. You may think that upon having your revenge, justice is served and you may have then accomplished a sense of self-gratification. But hey, if you think about it, will you really feel good hurting a woman you once loved and a girl who is innocent yet made to bear the brunt of her brother's errors?

I believe God will deal with the cad in His own time and in His way. Two wrongs do not make a right boy. It is akin to taking justice into your own hands wanting to serve out the sentence to the criminal when there is a judicial system to mete out the punishment. It's like A murders B and C exacts revenge for B by killing A and C ends up being convicted of manslaughter. Stupid ain't it?

The cad will get his bad karma. 26 years of living surely have taught you more than just vengeance alone. Since you claim not to love her anymore, why let yourself be bothered by it further and worse claiming bad karma for your intent/act of payback?

Be wise and think clearly.

For MV's eyes

2005-11-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

I hope this helps.

I have a date with many vampires!

2005-11-11T13:12:00.000+08:00

Why do we persist?
Why do we insist?
Why do we commit the wrongs knowing that they are wrong to begin with?

The questions above are just a few of the many that brewed in my mind while I was watching a show. Damn I just love movies/tv programmes that makes you think a lot, questioning the faith I've always believed in, questioning the truths about life, fate, destiny, god(s), genesis (creation of life), the supernatural, and of course, LOVE!

I've rented this entire Hongkong tv serial from the vcd shop around Jurong West Street 91. This is the third and final installation, a sequel to the show "My Date With A Vampire II".

Of the 3 volumes, my favourite has got to be the second. The third one, though much more detailed in explaining the start and end of life, the many cycles of life etc, but is very much lacking in action, in comparison to the second one.

Come on where's the fight? I love to watch the vampires transform into extreme vampire states and the vampire slayer/ghost buster aka the female lead fight in battles of their lives! Wage wars, I don't really fancy going too much into the sappy love scenes, crying along with the crying characters. Too much tears make one weak I feel.

Volume two is much more action packed and the dynamics of the story plot is much close-knitted whereas this last volume is very long-winded, focussing on repeated memories of the individuals, history backtracked and the origins of mankind but the visual assembly and effects are great!

Even gods and fate, as depicted, are flawed just like any humans. And interesting how fate could take on an entity by itself...Hold it, Fate is alive? Confusing. There are so many points to note that I get lost in the damn plot!

If only I could wish I was in their roles, experience being an undying vampire... or what if I could just be...

Sigh 26 vcds to rip and burn!

Bitchwho?

2005-11-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

I woke up early only to see a startling msn message left 8 hours ago by MV.

He probably just got back home from work.

Bewildered, i am wondering who is this she he's referring to.

Oh well, today's the day my baby comes back from her stressful bangkok trip!

Over the sea

2005-11-08T18:11:00.000+08:00

My baby has gone to Bangkok with her other baby Mr Bond and some other bartenders to compete in yet another flairing competition. According to her, Mr Bond is one horny bastard, wanting to visit the prostitutes despite having a wife and a girlfriend (not my GJPS), ~~and even instigating Sunburnt (now km8) and Ad (from Chinablack) to have a 2 on 2~~. Though I don't quite comprehend the term but it sounds very much like a gang bang to me. Scandalous.

In any case, I just want my baby back with me. I miss her.

I took out my phone, wondering who I can message and whine without feeling awkward. So many numbers, yet none of which I feel comfortable to dial. Marycherry has heard much of my whining and I don't feel good inconveniencing her further. I just want someone curl up to, and quietly enjoy the silent company he or she can spare.

Miscellanous ramblings

2005-11-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

I've finally gone back and returned my card and uniform.

It was with much ambivalence as I trudged along the road in the direction of outlet C. Unwilling to part with them, despite my decision, unwilling to let go despite my resolution. I missed working with GJPS, Binny Bin, and Didi dearly. The fun times the crazy times the busy times the sad times, the angry times and the slack times.

Ok stop re-playing those memories. Rewinding the recollections is not gonna do me any good so fast-forward and don't look back. Don't look back.

But I really miss them so much. I can't find people to jibe at whilst working in outlet O. Things are just... different. No one to share my humour for lame jokes and funny actions, no one to yak to about stupid fugly clubbers who are such irritants. No one!!! Break is solitary and at most only piercing silence amongst those who are seated around after the first two lines that go

"On break?" Duh.

"How's work?" Ok lor.

Waiting for transport is the same.

Nobody is interested in (knowing) each other (deeper) I gather. Why is it that people are only absorbed in their own lives? (actually I am guilty of that too) so I...

***

Drink and drink and drink some more.

It seems as though that is the only normality my body is able to perform perfunctorily these days other than the morbid chain puffing I put my lungs through. A fucking 21 sticks in the short duration of an evening-wee morning?

Hoegaarden, Sex on the beach, Carlsberg Draft, Vodka Lime with a minimum of triple shots in it. ALL FOC!

Whee!

Thanks to JFK for the first drink, this New Zealander law student/bartender on holiday in Singapore for the second drink, Didi for the third drink and Humsum (previously known as Ergo) as well as Adam Apple for the last drink at Happy!

Humsum gave me a rock glass of my requested drink and he has been known to be rather generous with his concoctions! Thank you!!! Adam Apple came over took a sip straw, tried it and said, "Very lime-ish". Took my rock glass away, poured its contents into the highball glass and topped it up with even more vodka!!! Now that's a little over doing it when I am on medication!

Beer, cocktail, housepour, medication??? Why am I not surprised had my body protested against all that intake of drinks yet I felt as good as new. Solid and ready so bring it on!

GJPS is very very very thrilled about her upcoming Bang-a-cock trip uhm, with Mr Bond. You better get me loads of stuff from Chatuchak market baby and smuggle some more alcohol in from DFS!

***

Hmm, it's been forever since any guy called me sweetie other Mil.

By the way, Mil, thank you for being there. Love ya loads buddy.

***

Ever tried cum before? If you are as shy and virginal as I am, then try this. Each time I open the bartender's black book I discover new interesting concoctions. So according to the bartender who authored this 'bible', here's how a drop of cum taste like.

Cum Drop
1 oz Coffee Liquer
1 oz Irish Cream
1/2 oz Banana Liquer
Mix with no ice and pour into shot glass.
Top with whipped cream.
Then microwave on high for 3-5 seconds.

***

It's damn shiok to smoke while taking a dump on the royal throne.

***

I missed the times when J and I share cigarettes cos we are either

1) Low on cash
2) Low on sticks
3) Maximizing the usage of the sticks

***

Apparently the mixture of meds and alcohol has ravaged my body further with the onset of yet another bout of fever and pounding headache. Slept the entire day away and feeling no appetite to eat. Damn.

Only in the mood for more drinks.

I hate to be sick

2005-11-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

For once, I made up my mind to visit the doctor. No more procrastination.

"You've got fever as well." That is in addition to my runny drippy nose, incessant sneezing, spinning head, erratic chills (feeling hot cold hot cold).

Darn, that means a whole course of antibiotics to finish.

Blasted! 29 bucks to see the doctor. Another $5.40 and I could have gotten myself 4 packs of Viceroy. Damn, should have self-medicated instead.

So the doctor has given me 4 different packs of medication,

and that means 6 capsules/pills to take each time.

The lan connection in school is pathetically slow. I am pissed waiting for my pictures to upload. And the drowsiness is kicking in.

I am turning in unbelievably early tonight. For the first time, at 9.29pm.

Worse than death

2005-11-02T17:42:00.000+08:00

I am unwell again.

The flu bug is persistently harassing me. Breko sucks cos they don't allow me to use their powerpoint to charge my laptop. I shall stick to Starbucks. And to think Breko is run by my church friend's father's father-in-law's son.

I really need to see the doctor. The onslaught of the itchy throat, runny nose = hibernation.

I am going to tabao many many subjects this sem. Particularly Mathematics and Physics.

Cowboy Bar's mostly about sex

2005-10-31T04:55:00.000+08:00

I am relieved that the whole Halloween Party turned out fine.

There's probably gonna be an entire hoard of peeps all over the blogosphere who attended the party writing about it.

So there, I am not saying much, except my gratitude to my fellow committee members especially the husband-wife duo (Naiveguy and Barffie) who contributed ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT to making it a success and of course to everyone who turned up who were all spontaneously fun and sportingly game.

Personally, I need to thank my 4 sponsors who bought me my 4 tequila shots in competing for the drinking game, namely Cowboy (or Monkey Boy whichever you will prefer), Airhole, Urban Male Bitch and Makan Guru. Thanks guys.

And much thanks too to Jesuafreak who graciously let me win so that I would not be shamed. And yes, for trying to introduce young boys to me (for my taking). I must have been whining too much about my single and available status.

Thank you Bin, GJPS and Didi for turning up as well.

Folks out there whom I just got to meet for the first time, nice to see you. And old friends, great to meet you once again.

Lovingly,
Miryclay ;)

P/s: I went as Mandrake's whore. Slutty? Not really. :D

Pp/s: I'm still hungry despite the Teo Chew Porridge we had. Rumbles.

Maligned me

2005-10-30T06:54:00.000+08:00

Just got back home from work.

Today, all of us had to wear some sort of halloween costume.
Me, being all stingy pok, decided to go gypsy, though I didn't look any gypsy at all.

They had fake blood provided and nice door bitch (my locker neighbour) helped me apply ultra thick eyeliner and dark eyeshadow. A smatter of dark lipstick and still doorbitch says I look as though I am going for dinner and dance instead.

The regular cute guy was there again as always.

France spoke to me today.

AZ wasn't around but I saw Outlet 5's bartender Big Bear at closing!
His third line to me was "You chu mai (betray in chinese) the other side".

Nabei. NEVER NEVER NEVER.
So sick of being misunderstood.

I have been fuming cos apparently Jadeite (who has been very nice to me) was "confronted" on Monday and I didn't want her to bear the title of having "poached" me away. It's not her fault. If there is anyone to be blamed, let me be since I am already viewed as the baddie.

MV, it is so unfair to be labeled unjustly. You understand that too. When did you guys speak to Jadeite about it?

I have never been a permanent part-time. I still get cash every week. The part-timer card and locker key was given to me as a matter of convenience! I am just helping out... ARGH!!!

It's all because of someone, who had not have the decency (cow sense) in doing the right thing. I know he's not accountable for me or my actions in the first place but as my direct supervisor then, he could (should) have informed the upper management. If things were not so strained between MV and I, I would have gone to him directly instead.

The contradicting part, it was that same person who had told Jadeite I wasn't working in the first place and that was why she had approached me the very first time wanting me to help out on Wednesday.

I feel so wronged.

My tears are worthless yet it just seems as if, them (or whoever) watching me cry is such an enjoyment.

No one truly understands.

Cry me cry me...

2005-10-29T17:03:00.000+08:00

It is all thanks to you and your lies that drove me away from what I love - outlet C.

I should go cry a thousand rivers and drown in them, except it's easier I drown myself in liquor.

There's a lizard who lives in my room. Ptoot.

Happy 21st Hatch Day Ber!

2005-10-29T01:48:00.000+08:00

Damn it!!!

You know, I wish...

Jadeite isn't so nice to me.

Maybe I am used to the rough ways of the sups at outlet C that niceties are considered rare.

I didn't work tonight cos my oldest friend Ber was celebrating his 21st birthday. I mean I may not be his closest friend but certainly his one and only friend of 16 years long. Nobody can beat that rank man. :) Oh and his girlfriend is very sweet looking nice dimples she has got.

Anyway I informed Jadeite that I could only go down at 11pm and she nicely and so obligingly allowed me to not work tonight!!! SO nice. Sigh.

Sheesh, the nicer you are to me. The more indebted I feel.

Anyway, met up with 4 of my primary school friends whom I haven't see since leaving Zhonghua (other than Crab).

And no I don't like AZ. He's not some sort of replacement for MV just cos I don't have AY I'll settle for AZ. Just friends who take the same transport, thats all. And besides I take a real long time to get over people whom I love. Perhaps in some ways I am still waiting. Waiting for my heart to get over and move on completely.

Thats all folks. An early night for me.

P/s: Sian, got to wear halloween costume to work tomorrow. Only attractive thing about it? $200 prize for best dressed! Wow. That can get me another tattoo.

T for... Thick skin that I do not have

2005-10-28T03:16:00.000+08:00

I spend a great part of close to 4 hours listening to the "zing-ing" sound of the needle.

Wince. Grimace. Curse.

The pain was bearable. And many thoughts filled my mind.

"Is child bearing gonna be worse than that? Oh my... Will sex the first time hurt like that? Oh my..."

I shudder at the thought of such prospects.

300 ringgit (approximately 135 sing) for the price of 2 huge ass markings is decently cheap. Alright dirt cheap actually.

The equipment.

Where I flashed my very first man my fatty bits and part of the pubes. Poor Adrian. His eyes.

This is #3 done in grey wash by Adrian in about 2 and a half hours.

#4's a cover up for my #1 alphabet 'm'.
GJPS told me it is SARS in capital letters, i.e. FUGLY. Oh my. :( Baby please help me design some add ons to enhance it. I don't think my skin at this area can withstand another 2 or 3 more times of needling.

It's been close to one and a half years since I first got it done for Bittercoffee. Surprised surprised how things have changed. Bittercoffee and TouristTrophy... Me and myself. :( Eh bro please no more of your bad shit friends to matchmake me. MUST be HUMSUM tall and smart!

Back on topic, though I had endured pain for 4 pieces of artwork, effectively I only see 3 remaining on my body.

#2.

More when I have the $$.

Virtual Insanity

2005-10-27T16:24:00.000+08:00

Halloween Party organised by the CowboyBarflies!

Please do show your support and get the tickets now.

I assure you got chiobus whole night long (you drink till tipsy all girls are chio).

Can even bid for a date (2 hot girls and a drummer boy up for auction!)!

It's for a good cause! And its good reason for merry-making and getting drunk!

VIRTUAL INSANITY HALLOWEEN PARTY AT COCCO LATTE

I am thinking of going as the jungle queen. But I'll need to invest in boots. Ah. I don't have much extra cash to spare. Maybe I should just appear naked and go as a stripper. LOL.

Remember the party is this Sunday! Please do go! Don't worry about being alone, I will entertain you!!! Or I will just get Mandrake to pimp one of her girls to you!

23/10/05

2005-10-27T16:15:00.000+08:00

Too much alcohol makes one a sick man.

The Sunset Boys, affectionately termed by AZ, have been feeding me alcohol since 6pm at Sunset all the way till 9ish.

A short reprieve in the terms of dinner offered by Just, walking to outlet C, getting out of Sentosa before another round at Happy.

The black pepper steak was unexpectedly quite good.

Work is work ultimately and let's just say that after all the revelations of the sickened truths and untruths, the reassessment of personal priorities, the confounded demented minds of the superiors and disastrous state of the welfare of the stoic coworkers remaining, the mind has remonstrated fervently against the inception of the torturous concoction brewed by the wicked ones.

They had never wanted me back in outlet C despite his proclaimed statement, it was more a mean to salve the bruised ego that my departure for the enemy's turf has created. Lies he told and still is telling, to both Bin and GJPS, and myself.

An uproar it is not. A gossiping Lion it is. How sad. To have a "friend" who stabs you in the back while you thought trust was a shared faith.

Resigning to the dawning of my resolution, unrestrained tears stray in the back alley of Happy over the dreaded loss of familiarity tugging in the deep recesses of my hearbeat.

What remains would only be memories, bittersweet. Held back no more.

Let your yes be a yes and your no be a no. The Lord has spoken. And so have I. Jadeite and outlet O has now staked full claim on me.

My 1st Saturday at Outlet O

2005-10-24T03:30:00.000+08:00

It's now freaking 6.46am in the morning. I have just gotten back home.

A recap of the long night.

7ish 8pm - Woke up from the nap I dozed off into after a late lunch. No way I will be able to reach outlet O on time and took cab down. Got onto a mercs cab whereby ultra nice cabby uncle really sped all the way (his average speed was maintained at around 110km/hr) for me to reach Mohammad Sultan in 20 minutes.

9.15 - 9.30pm - Batman let me go off to have my dinner. Ate in ultra fast time, barely touching a fifth of my bee hoon goreng, gulped down my milo and went back to work.

10pm - Quick chat with Fads (CT's sis) while going over to outlet T for a bottled Carlsberg.

2.05am - Zhen called during work. Felt kinda bad to shut him off in a matter of 15 seconds.

2.30am - Break for 10 minutes and called GJPS.

3isham - Jo-N up to her naughty bag of tricks, pulled me to small bar and another fast gulping down of Carlsberg! Haha! She's the closest friend I have in outlet O! Then Jadeite and Marco talked strangely to me. Catch no ball.

4am - Finally shoo the clubbers out. Packed and closed up at 5 ish. During this time waiting around, got to know the door bitch better (have to since I share locker with her), saw a video clip of her soon to be 3-year-old son, touched her flabby skin (baby, her's is really jelly pork belly), snapped photos of two of my colleagues, Ooi and Johan.

5isham - Got on transport. AZ from outlet D sat beside me and talk cock with me. His england never very powderful but he quite entertaining. Finally knew the names of other two guys from outlet D, Ray and AB. AZ ask me want go makan. Since near my place at where AB stays, Jurong West Street 91, agreed and went along. My very first 'outing' with them. Talked about work, other outlets, etc. AB appears to be more quiet. Less talkative in comparison to AZ. And baby guess what, AZ doesn't have a liking for chipmunk!!! WAHAHAHA!

Others -

1) I still get bad unfriendly vibes from Sashay and Aman.
2) Batman so touchy with everyone. Means I not special. Growls.
3) Batman used to have a stall selling nasi lemak then bak kut teh. Unbelievable right?
4) I scrapped my knees while getting off the transport. Had no idea my leg was bleeding till AZ saw it.

On work and on men

2005-10-22T06:15:00.000+08:00

Follow thy heart.

Right now, I have to choose between working for outlet C or outlet O.

There are fears returning to outlet C. Hesitant not because of MV (my out of sight out of mind strategy is working) but wondering how different things will be if I go back. Also as much as I can steel my mind against MV, I am not totally immune to him. Besides what if some look upon me as a betrayer to outlet C (which I, in no way, am one I feel, though circumstances project me to be one)?

My friends, especially my mate GJPS, my lusty pal Bin, my didi, my sayang CT are all back in outlet C.

And somehow, the peeps at outlet O ain't that friendly. I wonder why. GJPS commented that with my style of integration, it shouldn't be a problem for me yet I feel like the only one I could really hold a conversation with is Jo-N, Johan and naturally my captain Batman. There are so many small cliques around and each one just seems too unfriendly.

Like last night was bad when Batman switched my station from small bar with Jo-N to platform/wall with Aman. She sucks big time. Haughty looking and giving off BAD vibes. I totally just wanted to run away from her.

But outlet O so small, where can I run to? And speaking about size, I've enjoyed the open environment at outlet C that outlet O is just stifling, suffocating and basically claustrophobia-inducing.

Seriously, as much as I am into nightlife, I don't think WORKING in the nightlife suits me. I can't bear the unhealthy amount of smoke entering my already cancer-prone lungs, sleazeballs who touch me (or the rubbing of my boobs and ass when I have to squeeze through the crowd) and watching drunkards pick fights or puke all over. I stepped into puke last night and the stench that lingered on is horrid!!!

Outlet C, in contrast, has a much more sunshine outlook with beach babes/dudes, sun, sea, coconut trees, sand and the infamous pirate signature uniform of outlet C.

However, there are some enticing bits about outlet O, like the shorter working hours and the later hours which is good for me cos it will most likely not interfere with my school commitment to Inter-hall training, Havoc canvassing etc. Plus, Friday, Saturday is more appealing since I get a full Sunday off to do my own studying and meeting up with people.

Batman the floor captain is wonderfully nice. ;) If given a choice between papa Burnt Paper and Batman, woohoo Batman all the way! Very touchy though and makes me insecure about my developing pork belly. Yes baby, I've got one too!

And because outlet O is small, and food is limited to bar snacks, it definitely is less tiring at 1/8 of the work load in outlet C. And put it this way, when both outlets are paying $7/hour, nobody in the right mind will want to do extra work for the same amount you'll get (I'm an exceptional case of more work is good). However, time does seem as if it ticks by extremely slowly in outlet O.

Sigh, work satisfaction wise... The manual labour of the physical tasks, the mental strain of dealing with less than desirable tops at outlet C beats outlet O flat. I am a workaholic!!! I feel like I don't deserve that $7/hour at outlet O other than the monetary compensation of compromising my health and body.

One thing I've learnt for sure, my heart and loyalty still belongs to outlet C ultimately. When this outlet D bartender (who takes the same west transport) asked me for my working place of preference, I uttered outlet C quickly which I think kinda rub him off and made him say, then go back there and I won't have to travel to NTU the next time.

Was that made in jest or did he mean what he said?

Now I am beginning to wonder, are the outlets at some sort of feud, dispute, animosity or what? It's still a big family after all.

Maybe, just one day, I'll ask Batman.

Sheesh, Jade has given me O bar's part-time employee card and Batman my locker key. Now, I have got to speak to Jade fast. Like real fast.

***
Watched Into The Blue with Fudge on Thursday at Lido. The show's about average but Jessica Alba's body so hot that the sauce from my kfc chicken buritos plopped onto my white top!

Then moved over to Starbucks at Wheelock to help her out with her Young Leaders Dream Factory's stuff.

***

Stopped over at Outram, called GJPS to meet me after her work end and texted King if he was spinning at Taboo.

He called to say he just left Gotham and was on his way down to Taboo and told me to meet him outside. Sooo excited! It's been quite a while since I saw him! But imagine the shock I got when he got out of the cab. He was wearing one of those Thai cotton shirts that MV has got! Exactly the same and clad in khaki pants no less!!! OMG. Never mind that, he greeted me with a smile so warm and charming that it took away the dismal reaction I had to his outfit!

So my first time into Taboo (another gay club), was not exactly pleasant. The place resembles Why Not (another gay club) but looks sleazier than Why Not. Then again, it's about the same. But the toilet, now that is ultra bad. One cubicle locked (in use) and the other choked and flooded! Eugh!!!

The vodka lime King got for me is surprisingly potent (high ball glass somemore) but its FOC cos he's the deejay (not that I am cheapskate but King offered to get me my drink)! I saw King's mentor (Also an ex Gotham dj), had a balloon passed into my hands by a gay, looked upon men dancing funnily in bemusement, chuckling at an elderly gay patron buying a young humsum waiter a waterfall and tried to make small talk with King (which was disrupted by him going off midway to spin).

Anyway, doubt I will go there again anytime soon despite the lure of King's presence cos I prefer the classier much more tasteful decor of Happy (where the toilets are sooo much CLEANer!).

***

Met GJPS finally, emptied the bursting bladder at the clean toilet in Happy and proceeded to get our drinks from the bar. Threatened Adam Apple to return my Ripcurl lanyard or else... And that was when GJPS' baby Mr Bond said hi. And lo and behold, Martell too! Aiyah, just very happy to have a decent conversation with Martell smiling and not so black face!

Ordered for myself an appletini (my favourite martini there) and GJPS a hoegaarden. And my my my, Rick the ultra friendly cleaner there (whom I became friends with and bought him a birthday cake even) bought me 2 appletinis (1-4-1 for him cos he is staff!)! How sweet a gesture that completed my night of good tidings!

Now the msn nick reads "King, Martell, GJPS. Sweet".

02/10/05

2005-10-22T06:08:00.000+08:00

As I was having dinner with Dr B and Marycherry at Lido, the vilest of the vilest thought crossed my mind.

No, I can't even bear to bring myself say it out loud. Not just because the thought was such a vile one, but because as someone who has pointed out, most people at work read my blog (Who do actually? Tell me, I'm curious) and therefore I must watch the words I speak, since my perception is held under scrutiny. And no, we won't like nasty repercussions, will we?

***

So now, it has come to such, that Bittercoffee my brother, is trying to find me a man such that I will stop bugging him about my highly belated present. And so far he has presented me with this certain individual (who's also an ex-sajc-ian from my batch) whom I've rejected. He tried selling me an uhm, Indian friend I would guess. But hey, I don't want the government to catch me put me in jail for an less-than-inclination inherited from the mother. Pass. He has gotta sell me fast, and get me off his back before I get in the way of him and his ehem potential girl.

Seriously, bro, just get me the stuff I told ya. Remember, I can get the volleyball myself.

***

FUCK. A long time back, Mil said this to me, that I must stop being so buddy buddy pally with the guys I meet. I make a lot of close guy friends but that is where it ends. CLOSE BROTHERS.

Cheesebuns. During the course of this week, I have got 3 guys telling me that I make a great pal! As much as I have 110% no romantical interest in any of them, but the bottom line is I am attractive as a close close trustable friend, but never a lover!!! ARGH!

Mil, help me! How now?

***

In my distress, I dialed Mil's number and he had kindly told me how to hard sell myself off by advertising myself on the Ebay and on the newspapers. Grrr, that bitch! And most important of all, I must learn the art of baiting, of luring the fishes to my line, i.e. playing hard to get. Oh that I can learn!

***

Try this cooking game sent to me by Bittercoffee. It is very fun. My top score's 1680.

***
Talking to Mil can be such a joy. He really made me laugh so much, that for that 15 minutes or so over the phone, I forgot what it was to be hurting. And no, before anyone suggest I marry Mil, he loves me as a little sister, and yes I asked him for his hand in marriage in the case that I am left on the shelf and I think he told me to buy a blow up toy to cuddle, that kinda blow up stuffed person from the sex toy shop.

***

Having people around me who care so much for my mental and physical health warms my heart.

Airhole, Mat, Bittercoffee, Zhen, Sheryo, Maggy Mag, GJPS, Marycherry. I am much better.

To Mat (who won't be reading this cos he doesn't know I blog): Thank you for wanting to be there. Thank you. I haven't broken the promise I made to God 5 years ago. I won't hurt myself deliberately. Though the thought did flicker in my head, and I did fool around with the scissors wanting to inflict myself with more physical pain, but I was a little floozy after bingeing on that much alcohol.

15/10/05

2005-10-22T05:41:00.000+08:00

I am down with the flu again.

Was supposed to go O Bar and help out but me being so sick I slept a greater part of the day away.

I am so sorry Jade.

My nose is still leaking.

***

Meanwhile, my msn nick has morphed from all self despairing ones to "o bar o bar, i wish you were more like coastes" or something along that line.

I hope the people at O Bar are less tech saavy than the peeps at Coastes.

I can't really afford to be on the bad side of either.

Actually I can. And have half a dozen people wanting to wrangle my neck.

***

Here's Crystal, the one I've mentioned. The girl, who was rather dazzling. I prefer her current looks to her pageant days.

I took this secretly, yet she must have been so attuned to having a camera snap her that she intinctively turned towards me. Crystal's now a financial planner with AIA and earning a comfortable living at 21 - that's my age! She even paid for her boyfriend's share on their recent trip to Phuket! She's trying to recruit me. Haaha. That's not a joke anyway.

And beside her is another Miss Singapore Universe '05 finalist, Jeannie, who's all sweet and equally smiling.

Jeannie's currently working at Sunset Bay full-time so you'll catch her there very often. The pageant must have been really evil to have jaded the girl this way.

***

Remember that Crystal asked me out to join her next thursday at her friend's party at Cocco Latte.

First thing first, my exams are nearing. Time is a precious commodity,

Second thing, if I do turn up, I will hardly know anyone there other than Crystal perhaps.

Third thing, she wants to introduce me to some of her guy friends?

***

Some fugly shit there!

I think I prettier. Hur hur. Right Bin?

Reply

2005-10-22T05:04:00.000+08:00

A blogder left me a comment asking me how I had manage to tide over my falling in and out of love in a span of 2 days and if i had any tips to share...

So here it is, me attempting a shot at being Aunt Agony.

Dear anonymous (i wonder if you are the same anonymous who has been leaving me comments),

I wasn't out of love, in the sense that I still love that fool a lot, just that i have woken up to my senses to know that mine's a one sided unreciprocated love that and that it's better off to draw the line now even though he mentioned to wait for him...

When I like a person, I really can like for a long time! I'm not the fickleminded sort though i sound like one! I was in a relationship with the one and only ex for 3.5 years, liked a close friend of mine for 8 months (waited and waited) in which there after, i decided we were better off as brothers. As for King, he's an old friend whom i used to like but he was in a relationship back then. In any case, i like him cos he is a genuine friend and that's all...

And moving on doesnt imply i stop loving a person and love another entirely, it only means (for me that is) that mentally, emotionally, i psyched myself that he is no longer held to his words and that gives him more leeway because that is what love is supposed to be, ie. unselfish. its more of loving him in a different way, the godly unselfish way.

I don't have any tips for you because I, personally, suffer too many times from unrequited love. To add to that, guys don't particularly fancy me cos in their own words, "Miryclay, you are too tomboy, you are just unlike the other girls in school, you need to be more feminine..." Yadah yadah yadah. i even scare a guy friend of my childhood mate off. I can't say much except to quote my friend mil, "Just be yourself."

As for hurts from a past relationship, mostly, it's a state of mind. It's how we fail or refuse to accept the facts and let go of the past. Moving on is when you fully acknowledge that you are not the sole variable in a relationship and letting god take control to steer the ship (from my christian perspective) or in the worldly sense, 'whatever will be will be'. Let the course of nature runs.

It will be fantastic if you can resolve matters with your significant other. Remember it's not a time for pushing blame and accusations but finding out his/her reasons and justifications for his/her actions and decisions. Humans are no saints, we all err. So be giving and forgiving about things.

Oh yes and don't deny your emotions. Understand that it is absolutely perfect and natural to feel indignant, upset, etc but deal with them positively, channel these emotional energies to a sport, your work etc where you can generate greater efficiency and gradually, such negative emotions come to you in lower frequencies and even when you get struck by a bout of such depression, you know that you are able to deal with it.

Of course, try not to impose shitty feelings on others. (this is my own practice) cos you don't want a whole chain of feeling-shitty-friends in your hands.

Call a close friend up, bitch about things, frankly that helps a big deal. I won't have come so far without my girlfriends and brothers to bitch/whine/cry to. They dish out the girl power and support like a cheerleading team. What's even better, my favourite, HUGS! They do wonders for the body, heart, mind and soul.

Despite saying all these, that isn't to say I don't commit any of those "do-nots" myself. I drink myself silly occasionally to forget problems, smoke to ease away the tears, often not realising that a good cry's what we need sometimes to flush out the bad vibes we have or are getting.

God gave us tears, not as an indication of our weakness, but as a tool to strengthen us each time when we fall.

I love that irritating piece of MV (I love him still even though he is irritating) and sigh, am learning to cope with my own failure at managing expectations

p/s: This is something I concocted in 30 minutes so don't complain about my writing lacking in standard. And I am not a professional aunt agony in any case!!!

And this blog was shared with me by GJPS on the art of letting go.

Plain Jane Average Me

2005-10-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

It's been some time since I blogged.

Tired, lots of notes to read and well, just not in the mood to blog,

Previously, I was writing on how I hate being myself.

And to add to that now, I really hate being myself.

I mean, I know I don't have to please the whole world into liking me or accepting me, but I find it highly annoying and incredulous when people start judging me for the person whom I am not.

Most, in fact, just about everyone, takes me as some wild child whose morals have gone amok.

I may not be the nicest or most well behaved kid in town, but hey, I do know where to draw the line. Besides my vices are limited to smoking a tad too much, drinking a tad too much, sleeping a tad too much and eating a tad too much. Gluttony is not wild. That's just being a pig.

So I gather, it is either the vibes I exude or the looks I portray.

Vibes wise, that I can't control, can I?

Looks wise, since having my hair curled at the beginning of this year, I don't seem to have the look of youth or innocence any more. But that's just curls!!! Besides, the curls are very limp and nearly gone. My make up is very basic. None at all if you ask my classmates.

I have my new friends in school telling me I look too wild/cool/ ____ (insert whatever applicable). And that's from sporting tongue/navel studs and tattoos. Good griefs, there are sooo many human beings out there who have them too.

Dressing is simple stuff. No branded expensive shit that shouts out loud "Hey I am a slut, look over!" It's the typical halter, tubes, spaghetti tops and mostly sportswear. How bad can that get when it is not as if I reveal my boobs or ass crack?

Just take a look at what I wore out today. In the first place, I won't even have worn the tube out if not for the fact that I had wanted to go get my tattoo done with Tim-san. Unfortunately, the klutz me left school happily, only to realise while on the train that I have left my passport on my bed.

Usually, what I would wear out (on freaking lazy days) would be my running vest and shorts, to class (my guy friends from marketing say I am an embarrassment to wear such, being the worst dressed girl in marketing) and to clubs even, like Happy and Why Not.

GRRR. And for the last time, I AM STILL A VIRGIN! You Chao Pot Pots who think I am not. I am proud to declare I am one still. I mean, having a boyfriend for 3.5 years (ex boyfriend) doesn't warrant that I have to sleep with him. We never went past the kissing stage. I have never even seen him in underwear before can!!! And I was a staunch christian back then (and so was the ex) and both of us didn't believe in sex before marriage.

So to Sentosa Sakae Sushi Assistant Manager and everyone else, I virgin hor. KNN. Sorry I can't let you test the goods cos once tested, I virgin no more. I look not guai but I sibei guai one. And for one, being liberal to talk about sex does not equate to being liberal about the usage of my body.

The next person who says I look slutty and non-virginal will get it from me - a kick in the crotch.

***

I have realised that my problem is being too rugged, too alpha and too independent. Guys are not attracted to my sort.

So I must be whiney eh? Can. Tao Yan!!! -twirls hair-

***

I think I shall go take a loan and go for plastic surgery.

Or any kind sponsors?

Bin, please be my guarantor and let me take a loan from UOB!!! I promise I will not default payment. And since I will come out from the makeover looking fucking gorgeous, I will be talent scouted to do modelling and I will have a steady source of income from the demand for my beautiful face!

Yes, and I will no longer be average looking, as you said I was.

***

Tired tired. Hallucinating. You know what they say about an idle mind being a devil's workshop? I won't mind that really.

***

Currently addicted to Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends". On my replay single for ITunes, Ipod and flash player.

I love punk rock.

***

HIt the books or sleep? The latter. Nights.

Updated: King of fools

2005-10-15T05:21:00.000+08:00

Met up briefly with Sandra, Crystal came down with her group of friends. How sweet.

A fight broke out. Bouncers gigantic came rushing in, FBI even, shortly after.

Fucking nitwit trodded his fat foot on my ankle. Wince. It hasn't fully covered and now it hurts more than ever.

Batman the floor captain. Tsk. Charming and wily. Teasingly told another server I am her girlfriend and hugged me. Then in the last hour, touched my waist aplenty. Is she naturally this way or a tad too touchy? But she's nice. I like her.

I really miss the dynamics of Coastes, wishing I was back with them instead of being at O Bar, where conversation is much easier, as do the people less superficial.

Have I mentioned that some fools at Dbl O could not even answer a simple question this bimbotic (wait she's not even pretty) girl asked...

"What's the young of a cow?"

You boh dohs! Calf lah! And the young of a lion? A cub lah! Stupiad!

And no, I didn't say this outloud.

I should have, and enlightened them.

Edit: I shared a glass of beer with JO-N on the dance floor. Was so funny the way we gulped it down so fast, amidst the clubbers. Another free beer for the day.

Hot hot hot!!

2005-10-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

That, was with reference to the cup noodles mee goreng I had and a self concocted ultra spicy soup!

I got back to Hall half an hour ago, shortly after the canteen has closed and thought I'll make do with whatever food I could lay my hands on.

Now, preparing to get my ass outta school and down to O Bar for another night of work.

Yay, seeing Sandra later!

***

While I was at Sunset Bay doing my work, got to know the staff there better and was introduced to this old regular Crystal, who's a finalist at the Miss Singapore Universe 2005!

Wah Lau she's very attractive lei! Hehe! Couldn't quite take my eyes off her.

Even secretly snapped a shot of her!

***

Ciao. Will post up photos and write about the hilarious night at Walas when I'm back.

Beer Chug

2005-10-14T14:14:00.000+08:00

One and a half pint of hoegaarden last night at Walas with Bin, GJPS
and the blogger group.

And a bottle of hoegaarden again FOC courtesy of Jas from Sunset Bay
at 2 in the afternoon.

Here's to sexy beer bellies.

I scorn myself

2005-10-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

I constantly wonder what is wrong with me, or has gone so wrong for me.
I see people aplenty, having a great life.

Secretly, I despise myself for having been born.

Educationally, I stink.
Socially, I suck.
Spiritually, I'm lost.
Physically, I am worse than the hunchback of notredam.

I hate to say that I am shallow and superficial like the rest of the world, but after reading Marycherry's sister's blog, I have to admit I am. I echo S' thoughts about never being good enough.

It's not even about being mediocre, It's just about how the bad karma is returning with carbs laden tummy, the volcano spirit on a tour around my face and how inadequate I feel with respect to the world.

I'm cracking up.

***

How do one tell the roommate about the constant litter of hair around me? I hate having to have to clear up her fucking shit loads of hair especially when her fan blows them all over to my side of the room.

I just spent an hour doing so.

It is not great especially when I am not inclined to speak to her and borrowing the brother's vacuum cleaner every other day may be overly troublesome.

I need to restore whatever remaining sanity I have with some alcohol.

***

I want to lose 2 inches off my waist, hips and ass and shed 2 kg to return to my ideal waistline of 23 inches and weight of 45 kg without losing my 34C? or 34B? boobs.

***

ARGH.

Marycherry, I want to meet up with you so badly.

From the Hermit's View

2005-10-13T00:30:00.000+08:00

As of now, I have been a hermit, truly (with the exception of my roommate), almost speaking to nobody in the past 30 hours, other than the canteen uncle whom I bought my dinner from.

Oh my gosh, how I crave company.

***

I think GJPS is still angry with me for accidentally calling Sheryo my boo. What I had intended to write was 'Boo!' instead of "My Boo!".

***

Argh. The last remaining thread of sanity is being buried under the avalanche of the silence and my books.

I hear voices.

***

One won't believe when I speak of how I have never attended a single prom night in my 21 years of living.

Not my cup of tea. I'll bail out.

Of course, I do end up missing out on the fun, the memories and the cohesiveness that brings the clique closer together, but oh well.

Imagine the amount of hassle to prepare for it, getting a dress then the heels, next the accessories, the hair, the make up, everything. And not forgetting the amount of money I can potentially blow on getting them all.

I am not big on going around taking photographs. What I may end up doing is being the photographer instead. Or either that, sneaking plenty of smoke breaks in between.

Cedar's informal grad night, Sajc's prom night, Hall's dinner and dance.

And the worst of all, I'm one big embarrassment. As such, it's better not to be seen.

***

The Famous Grouse (i shall stop calling him Famous Gross since he has been pretty nice to me despite my meanness behind his back) has given me a pair of complimentary passes to the movie Into The Blue featuring Jessica Alba.

I don't have anybody to go the movies with anyway and I doubt my sister will want to watch the show. Marycherry, you want to watch this show with Dr B or The Blonde? If not I'll just pass them on to Bittercoffee and my prospective da sao to watch. Or to anybody who wants them.

They are valid from 13 October till film run ends. :)

***

The small little 'balcony' outside the toilet on my floor has become my next favourite spot. A place for me to spy on the groups of people congregating in the comms hall or otherwise known as the hall 5 canteen. A place for me to do my little grassing on those cancer sticks.

***

Found out yesterday, that the Hall Queen for hall 1 is my very own secondary school/LTC mate, Joyful.

Uhm. Dee dum.

And one of the Hall 1 Hall Queen finalist's the second runner-up for Miss Singapore World. Freak!

Uhm, Dee dum.

Bad.

***