I scorn myself
I constantly wonder what is wrong with me, or has gone so wrong for me.
I see people aplenty, having a great life.
Secretly, I despise myself for having been born.
Educationally, I stink.
Socially, I suck.
Spiritually, I'm lost.
Physically, I am worse than the hunchback of notredam.
I hate to say that I am shallow and superficial like the rest of the world, but after reading Marycherry's sister's blog, I have to admit I am. I echo S' thoughts about never being good enough.
It's not even about being mediocre, It's just about how the bad karma is returning with carbs laden tummy, the volcano spirit on a tour around my face and how inadequate I feel with respect to the world.
I'm cracking up.
***
How do one tell the roommate about the constant litter of hair around me? I hate having to have to clear up her fucking shit loads of hair especially when her fan blows them all over to my side of the room.
I just spent an hour doing so.
It is not great especially when I am not inclined to speak to her and borrowing the brother's vacuum cleaner every other day may be overly troublesome.
I need to restore whatever remaining sanity I have with some alcohol.
***
I want to lose 2 inches off my waist, hips and ass and shed 2 kg to return to my ideal waistline of 23 inches and weight of 45 kg without losing my 34C? or 34B? boobs.
***
ARGH.
Marycherry, I want to meet up with you so badly.
I see people aplenty, having a great life.
Secretly, I despise myself for having been born.
Educationally, I stink.
Socially, I suck.
Spiritually, I'm lost.
Physically, I am worse than the hunchback of notredam.
I hate to say that I am shallow and superficial like the rest of the world, but after reading Marycherry's sister's blog, I have to admit I am. I echo S' thoughts about never being good enough.
It's not even about being mediocre, It's just about how the bad karma is returning with carbs laden tummy, the volcano spirit on a tour around my face and how inadequate I feel with respect to the world.
I'm cracking up.
***
How do one tell the roommate about the constant litter of hair around me? I hate having to have to clear up her fucking shit loads of hair especially when her fan blows them all over to my side of the room.
I just spent an hour doing so.
It is not great especially when I am not inclined to speak to her and borrowing the brother's vacuum cleaner every other day may be overly troublesome.
I need to restore whatever remaining sanity I have with some alcohol.
***
I want to lose 2 inches off my waist, hips and ass and shed 2 kg to return to my ideal waistline of 23 inches and weight of 45 kg without losing my 34C? or 34B? boobs.
***
ARGH.
Marycherry, I want to meet up with you so badly.
posted by Sheena at 5:27 PM
3 Comments:
is there a need to please everyone? is there a need to be "good enough"? what exactly is good enough?
aberwyn, i get what you are trying to say..
it is but human to want to conform to the society, to want to be accepted and therefore wanting to please everyone.
it's a want rather a need to be good enough. sadly good enough is a measure of what society deems it is.
sigh. i love u. nuttin to do with u being good / bad. i juz love u.
=)
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