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A blogder left me a comment asking me how I had manage to tide over my falling in and out of love in a span of 2 days and if i had any tips to share...
So here it is, me attempting a shot at being Aunt Agony.
Dear anonymous (i wonder if you are the same anonymous who has been leaving me comments),
I wasn't out of love, in the sense that I still love that fool a lot, just that i have woken up to my senses to know that mine's a one sided unreciprocated love that and that it's better off to draw the line now even though he mentioned to wait for him...
When I like a person, I really can like for a long time! I'm not the fickleminded sort though i sound like one! I was in a relationship with the one and only ex for 3.5 years, liked a close friend of mine for 8 months (waited and waited) in which there after, i decided we were better off as brothers. As for King, he's an old friend whom i used to like but he was in a relationship back then. In any case, i like him cos he is a genuine friend and that's all...
And moving on doesnt imply i stop loving a person and love another entirely, it only means (for me that is) that mentally, emotionally, i psyched myself that he is no longer held to his words and that gives him more leeway because that is what love is supposed to be, ie. unselfish. its more of loving him in a different way, the godly unselfish way.
I don't have any tips for you because I, personally, suffer too many times from unrequited love. To add to that, guys don't particularly fancy me cos in their own words, "Miryclay, you are too tomboy, you are just unlike the other girls in school, you need to be more feminine..." Yadah yadah yadah. i even scare a guy friend of my childhood mate off. I can't say much except to quote my friend mil, "Just be yourself."
As for hurts from a past relationship, mostly, it's a state of mind. It's how we fail or refuse to accept the facts and let go of the past. Moving on is when you fully acknowledge that you are not the sole variable in a relationship and letting god take control to steer the ship (from my christian perspective) or in the worldly sense, 'whatever will be will be'. Let the course of nature runs.
It will be fantastic if you can resolve matters with your significant other. Remember it's not a time for pushing blame and accusations but finding out his/her reasons and justifications for his/her actions and decisions. Humans are no saints, we all err. So be giving and forgiving about things.
Oh yes and don't deny your emotions. Understand that it is absolutely perfect and natural to feel indignant, upset, etc but deal with them positively, channel these emotional energies to a sport, your work etc where you can generate greater efficiency and gradually, such negative emotions come to you in lower frequencies and even when you get struck by a bout of such depression, you know that you are able to deal with it.
Of course, try not to impose shitty feelings on others. (this is my own practice) cos you don't want a whole chain of feeling-shitty-friends in your hands.
Call a close friend up, bitch about things, frankly that helps a big deal. I won't have come so far without my girlfriends and brothers to bitch/whine/cry to. They dish out the girl power and support like a cheerleading team. What's even better, my favourite, HUGS! They do wonders for the body, heart, mind and soul.
Despite saying all these, that isn't to say I don't commit any of those "do-nots" myself. I drink myself silly occasionally to forget problems, smoke to ease away the tears, often not realising that a good cry's what we need sometimes to flush out the bad vibes we have or are getting.
God gave us tears, not as an indication of our weakness, but as a tool to strengthen us each time when we fall.
I love that irritating piece of MV (I love him still even though he is irritating) and sigh, am learning to cope with my own failure at managing expectations
p/s: This is something I concocted in 30 minutes so don't complain about my writing lacking in standard. And I am not a professional aunt agony in any case!!!
And this blog was shared with me by GJPS on the art of letting go.
So here it is, me attempting a shot at being Aunt Agony.
Dear anonymous (i wonder if you are the same anonymous who has been leaving me comments),
I wasn't out of love, in the sense that I still love that fool a lot, just that i have woken up to my senses to know that mine's a one sided unreciprocated love that and that it's better off to draw the line now even though he mentioned to wait for him...
When I like a person, I really can like for a long time! I'm not the fickleminded sort though i sound like one! I was in a relationship with the one and only ex for 3.5 years, liked a close friend of mine for 8 months (waited and waited) in which there after, i decided we were better off as brothers. As for King, he's an old friend whom i used to like but he was in a relationship back then. In any case, i like him cos he is a genuine friend and that's all...
And moving on doesnt imply i stop loving a person and love another entirely, it only means (for me that is) that mentally, emotionally, i psyched myself that he is no longer held to his words and that gives him more leeway because that is what love is supposed to be, ie. unselfish. its more of loving him in a different way, the godly unselfish way.
I don't have any tips for you because I, personally, suffer too many times from unrequited love. To add to that, guys don't particularly fancy me cos in their own words, "Miryclay, you are too tomboy, you are just unlike the other girls in school, you need to be more feminine..." Yadah yadah yadah. i even scare a guy friend of my childhood mate off. I can't say much except to quote my friend mil, "Just be yourself."
As for hurts from a past relationship, mostly, it's a state of mind. It's how we fail or refuse to accept the facts and let go of the past. Moving on is when you fully acknowledge that you are not the sole variable in a relationship and letting god take control to steer the ship (from my christian perspective) or in the worldly sense, 'whatever will be will be'. Let the course of nature runs.
It will be fantastic if you can resolve matters with your significant other. Remember it's not a time for pushing blame and accusations but finding out his/her reasons and justifications for his/her actions and decisions. Humans are no saints, we all err. So be giving and forgiving about things.
Oh yes and don't deny your emotions. Understand that it is absolutely perfect and natural to feel indignant, upset, etc but deal with them positively, channel these emotional energies to a sport, your work etc where you can generate greater efficiency and gradually, such negative emotions come to you in lower frequencies and even when you get struck by a bout of such depression, you know that you are able to deal with it.
Of course, try not to impose shitty feelings on others. (this is my own practice) cos you don't want a whole chain of feeling-shitty-friends in your hands.
Call a close friend up, bitch about things, frankly that helps a big deal. I won't have come so far without my girlfriends and brothers to bitch/whine/cry to. They dish out the girl power and support like a cheerleading team. What's even better, my favourite, HUGS! They do wonders for the body, heart, mind and soul.
Despite saying all these, that isn't to say I don't commit any of those "do-nots" myself. I drink myself silly occasionally to forget problems, smoke to ease away the tears, often not realising that a good cry's what we need sometimes to flush out the bad vibes we have or are getting.
God gave us tears, not as an indication of our weakness, but as a tool to strengthen us each time when we fall.
I love that irritating piece of MV (I love him still even though he is irritating) and sigh, am learning to cope with my own failure at managing expectations
p/s: This is something I concocted in 30 minutes so don't complain about my writing lacking in standard. And I am not a professional aunt agony in any case!!!
And this blog was shared with me by GJPS on the art of letting go.
posted by Sheena at 5:04 AM
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