Another backdated post

Last night was a revelation of some sort regarding the status of my heart.

I really do hate the way that despite after such a long time of telling myself to let go, MV's still deeply etched in my heart.

I was told that that my crush, Martell, no longer works at Happy. WTF?!? Where the heck can I go to stalk him man? He's one darn pleasant eye candy! Maybe defecting to the new MOS that's opening soon.

Bad shit happened...

So tonight marks my second night sleeping out of my own bed in hall/home. I am on Robin's spare bed right now typing this.

On to something happier in my life currently.

If there's something about the colleagues around me, I can safely say that other than the close friends I have in Coastes (Binny Bin, Didi and CT) and the new found good pals in O Bar (JO-N, Ooi and Johan), there are three other people whom I have grown to really appreciate/love/treasure and that's JFK daddy and Leng-Lui cashier from Coastes as well as Batman from O Bar.

Sometimes, I feel that JFK really do genuinely care a lot more for me personally as compared to MV, maybe at least outwardly, though I know both care equally much for my welfare as their staff then and ex-staff now. As I bade my farewell to him after a drink at this soccer chill out place at Prinsep Street, he so warmly extended me sincere wishes to take care and that if I were to ever run into trouble in O Bar, to not hesitate to call him up for help and we left each other with a hug. He may appear to be one damn stern guy but when it bottoms down to caring from the heart, JFK is just swell.

The same applies for Leng-Lui who looks like she can devour you whole for breakfast, lunch and dinner, a toughie with words and damn stringent about cashiering procedures but a real big softie/nicetie at heart.

Batman... ah, simply a floor captain I never had. Either it's because I am new, therefore she dotes on me a lot but I think it is more a soft spot for me that makes her sayang me in a way that just, well, makes me feel like a big baby sometimes. She sets a high standard and expects a lot from her floor crew yet allows leeway for our mistakes. Awfully nice and generous, she's as golden as Jadeite and Marco are.

I can't figure out what's exactly wrong with me but my heart is feeling exceptionally unsettled, as though I've been through hell and back in the weekend that has just passed.

More fucks

More responsibilities to bear after today's Havoc meeting in school:

1) arranging for bash
2) sourcing for campsites
3) choreographing dance steps for the freshies next year...
4) canvassing for jobs..

4) is an ongoing task for me cos I am the Biz Mag so can't complain about my job scope

Hopefully I will be able to enlist Dell's help for 3)

And 1) and 2) means more liaising for this week since I need to present budget to my main committee by next Tuesday.

God save my tired ass.

Note to self: No more smoking to save throat for caroling practice and minimal drinking to save money. The hole in the pocket is getting bigger. VERY BIG.

HELP!

I lost my ring! Damn it! And I downloaded a faulty episode of smallville, got video no audio!!! Chao Ka-Li-Pok! Nabei!

Busy bumble bee

Blardy hell!

1) Inter-hall game training for running, swimming and hockey and my personal vested interest in brushing up on my volleyball skills to pit against primary school friend Ray

+

2) Smart Science teaching bratty kids of various ages

+

3) Work at O Bar at the unearthly hours

+

4) Havoc meetings, canvassing for jobs, choreographing Havoc dance...

+

5) QP caroling practices and carol performances

+

6) Numerous birthdays / celebrations to attend


= A freaking stressed up holiday!!! Argh! KNNB! I need to quit my cancer sticks if I want to be able to sing! Fucketty fuck.

FREEDOM backdated 10hours ago!

This topic of discussion has been brought up countless of times since working in Outlet C.

Rank the boys/girls.

For me, the girls have been fairly easy cos there aren't many to begin with.

I can count them off one hand. That was back when I was still working. Now... I am not too sure. I guess the most attractive one thus far (past and present) has got to be Michelle Pretty. Nicely shaped perky ass! Whistles! A little pan-asian look though I say she looks more hawaiian.

Followed by Michelle cashier! She may be 30 (or is it 31) but she looks damn good, as though she has never given birth!!! Got a lot of "sei" especially when she issue her standard "stern looks".

That's about it... GJPS won't like it if I were to say that Ame comes in third or mention anyone else... so I'll stop here.

Ah, guys wise... many discrepancies in opinions all around with their varying tastes and basis of judgement. For me, it's the masculine factor and general charisma plus looks.

Many must guess that MV ranks first on the list... but WRONG! He's second cos daddy JFK is first!!! Most people at first glance will notice MV (as did one of the O Bar trainee Johan who went over to Outlet B to work on one Sunday) but JFK has a more "nai kan" or lasting look. A man's man look. Aiyar I don't know how to thread it in words, if not this entry is going to get distorted.

MV... an acquired taste? I don't know. Don't want to write much either.

Third's a tie between Binny Bin and my Didi. Didi looks very good actually, better than Binny Bin, especially with his punk boy style and Jap hairstyle. Ah bengish looking but tall, lanky frame with good bone structure makes him stand out, way way out! But Didi is but 18, and a kid is still a kid which makes Binny Bin more appealing.

Joey will be excellent in terms of his body, but face wise, not my kind I guess.

Don't worry, if you are not mentioned on the list, it doesn't mean you are not cool/good-looking enough but there can only be a top three.

I would have loved to attach a photo for each member but this blog is pretty much anonymous so oh wells!

What a lame entry. Good night, 10 hours more to holiday and freedom!!!

When love turns sour

I really don't concur with MV's stand on hatred, revenge and graciousness=loserish.

I mean we all know about the saying "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" blah blah blah, it's written in the Holy Book even, but God also mentioned about loving your enemies as your own, and I can go on to quote many other biblical references but because MV does not believe in God, I have no idea how to make him see my point.

Why create a vicious cycle of enmity? All these bad blood leads no where. You may think that upon having your revenge, justice is served and you may have then accomplished a sense of self-gratification. But hey, if you think about it, will you really feel good hurting a woman you once loved and a girl who is innocent yet made to bear the brunt of her brother's errors?

I believe God will deal with the cad in His own time and in His way. Two wrongs do not make a right boy. It is akin to taking justice into your own hands wanting to serve out the sentence to the criminal when there is a judicial system to mete out the punishment. It's like A murders B and C exacts revenge for B by killing A and C ends up being convicted of manslaughter. Stupid ain't it?

The cad will get his bad karma. 26 years of living surely have taught you more than just vengeance alone. Since you claim not to love her anymore, why let yourself be bothered by it further and worse claiming bad karma for your intent/act of payback?

Be wise and think clearly.

For MV's eyes

I hope this helps.

I have a date with many vampires!

Why do we persist?
Why do we insist?
Why do we commit the wrongs knowing that they are wrong to begin with?

The questions above are just a few of the many that brewed in my mind while I was watching a show. Damn I just love movies/tv programmes that makes you think a lot, questioning the faith I've always believed in, questioning the truths about life, fate, destiny, god(s), genesis (creation of life), the supernatural, and of course, LOVE!

I've rented this entire Hongkong tv serial from the vcd shop around Jurong West Street 91. This is the third and final installation, a sequel to the show "My Date With A Vampire II".

Of the 3 volumes, my favourite has got to be the second. The third one, though much more detailed in explaining the start and end of life, the many cycles of life etc, but is very much lacking in action, in comparison to the second one.

Come on where's the fight? I love to watch the vampires transform into extreme vampire states and the vampire slayer/ghost buster aka the female lead fight in battles of their lives! Wage wars, I don't really fancy going too much into the sappy love scenes, crying along with the crying characters. Too much tears make one weak I feel.

Volume two is much more action packed and the dynamics of the story plot is much close-knitted whereas this last volume is very long-winded, focussing on repeated memories of the individuals, history backtracked and the origins of mankind but the visual assembly and effects are great!

Even gods and fate, as depicted, are flawed just like any humans. And interesting how fate could take on an entity by itself...Hold it, Fate is alive? Confusing. There are so many points to note that I get lost in the damn plot!

If only I could wish I was in their roles, experience being an undying vampire... or what if I could just be...

Sigh 26 vcds to rip and burn!

Bitchwho?

I woke up early only to see a startling msn message left 8 hours ago by MV.

He probably just got back home from work.

Bewildered, i am wondering who is this she he's referring to.

Oh well, today's the day my baby comes back from her stressful bangkok trip!

Over the sea

My baby has gone to Bangkok with her other baby Mr Bond and some other bartenders to compete in yet another flairing competition. According to her, Mr Bond is one horny bastard, wanting to visit the prostitutes despite having a wife and a girlfriend (not my GJPS), and even instigating Sunburnt (now km8) and Ad (from Chinablack) to have a 2 on 2. Though I don't quite comprehend the term but it sounds very much like a gang bang to me. Scandalous.

In any case, I just want my baby back with me. I miss her.

I took out my phone, wondering who I can message and whine without feeling awkward. So many numbers, yet none of which I feel comfortable to dial. Marycherry has heard much of my whining and I don't feel good inconveniencing her further. I just want someone curl up to, and quietly enjoy the silent company he or she can spare.

Miscellanous ramblings

I've finally gone back and returned my card and uniform.

It was with much ambivalence as I trudged along the road in the direction of outlet C. Unwilling to part with them, despite my decision, unwilling to let go despite my resolution. I missed working with GJPS, Binny Bin, and Didi dearly. The fun times the crazy times the busy times the sad times, the angry times and the slack times.

Ok stop re-playing those memories. Rewinding the recollections is not gonna do me any good so fast-forward and don't look back. Don't look back.

But I really miss them so much. I can't find people to jibe at whilst working in outlet O. Things are just... different. No one to share my humour for lame jokes and funny actions, no one to yak to about stupid fugly clubbers who are such irritants. No one!!! Break is solitary and at most only piercing silence amongst those who are seated around after the first two lines that go

"On break?" Duh.

"How's work?" Ok lor.

Waiting for transport is the same.

Nobody is interested in (knowing) each other (deeper) I gather. Why is it that people are only absorbed in their own lives? (actually I am guilty of that too) so I...

***

Drink and drink and drink some more.

It seems as though that is the only normality my body is able to perform perfunctorily these days other than the morbid chain puffing I put my lungs through. A fucking 21 sticks in the short duration of an evening-wee morning?

Hoegaarden, Sex on the beach, Carlsberg Draft, Vodka Lime with a minimum of triple shots in it. ALL FOC!

Whee!

Thanks to JFK for the first drink, this New Zealander law student/bartender on holiday in Singapore for the second drink, Didi for the third drink and Humsum (previously known as Ergo) as well as Adam Apple for the last drink at Happy!

Humsum gave me a rock glass of my requested drink and he has been known to be rather generous with his concoctions! Thank you!!! Adam Apple came over took a sip straw, tried it and said, "Very lime-ish". Took my rock glass away, poured its contents into the highball glass and topped it up with even more vodka!!! Now that's a little over doing it when I am on medication!

Beer, cocktail, housepour, medication??? Why am I not surprised had my body protested against all that intake of drinks yet I felt as good as new. Solid and ready so bring it on!

GJPS is very very very thrilled about her upcoming Bang-a-cock trip uhm, with Mr Bond. You better get me loads of stuff from Chatuchak market baby and smuggle some more alcohol in from DFS!

***

Hmm, it's been forever since any guy called me sweetie other Mil.

By the way, Mil, thank you for being there. Love ya loads buddy.

***

Ever tried cum before? If you are as shy and virginal as I am, then try this. Each time I open the bartender's black book I discover new interesting concoctions. So according to the bartender who authored this 'bible', here's how a drop of cum taste like.

Cum Drop
1 oz Coffee Liquer
1 oz Irish Cream
1/2 oz Banana Liquer
Mix with no ice and pour into shot glass.
Top with whipped cream.
Then microwave on high for 3-5 seconds.

***

It's damn shiok to smoke while taking a dump on the royal throne.

***

I missed the times when J and I share cigarettes cos we are either

1) Low on cash
2) Low on sticks
3) Maximizing the usage of the sticks

***

Apparently the mixture of meds and alcohol has ravaged my body further with the onset of yet another bout of fever and pounding headache. Slept the entire day away and feeling no appetite to eat. Damn.

Only in the mood for more drinks.

I hate to be sick

For once, I made up my mind to visit the doctor. No more procrastination.

"You've got fever as well." That is in addition to my runny drippy nose, incessant sneezing, spinning head, erratic chills (feeling hot cold hot cold).

Darn, that means a whole course of antibiotics to finish.

Blasted! 29 bucks to see the doctor. Another $5.40 and I could have gotten myself 4 packs of Viceroy. Damn, should have self-medicated instead.


So the doctor has given me 4 different packs of medication,


and that means 6 capsules/pills to take each time.

The lan connection in school is pathetically slow. I am pissed waiting for my pictures to upload. And the drowsiness is kicking in.

I am turning in unbelievably early tonight. For the first time, at 9.29pm.

Worse than death

I am unwell again.

The flu bug is persistently harassing me. Breko sucks cos they don't allow me to use their powerpoint to charge my laptop. I shall stick to Starbucks. And to think Breko is run by my church friend's father's father-in-law's son.

I really need to see the doctor. The onslaught of the itchy throat, runny nose = hibernation.

I am going to tabao many many subjects this sem. Particularly Mathematics and Physics.