Saturday, April 30, 2005


I think men are sexiest when they are hard at work. I simply love that look of intense concentration on their faces, just like my boy when he spins. Check back tomorrow for King's picture in the dj console. So beautiful. Slurps. P/s: I need a new man for this month before the obsession for King deepens beyond cure.

Friday, April 29, 2005

What's happening to me?

Oh my.

I don't believe myself.

I have been faithfully following a lame taiwanese drama (on repeat telecast) featuring SHE, the famous female SYT pop trio each night on Channel U. It's Magical Love, for your information. Or "ai qing da mo zhou" in chinese.

Well, that is really nothing wrong about that till I realised... that... that I actually like the show.


This is so wrong.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Photos Testing

Two metal rods "poking" out in the middle of nowhere = another 1 cow stolen along Marymount Road.

Pink, blue and yellow? With such a variet,y who would need to go to the Dairy Farm to see the moo moos?

The blue moo I took a measurement of, for the Cowboy Bar eons ago. It's 2 metres long from snout to tail, 1.2 metres in height from cow's feet to horns and 1 metre tall to it's body.

I would love to snitch a bright yellow cow home to ride on except... The National Parks people have removed all of them before we could execute the theft. Makanguru, all your fault lah!!! Supposed to meet up right?

Last last Sunday night I think. Monday morning actually. Whatever it was, it's the early morning after going to Happy. And attempted to walk a little distance back home with GJPS. Some of the sights we saw along the way while taking one of the streets in Chinatown. This I took cos of the wonderful positions GJPS noted, as if like some sex guide book.

I can't remember what I took this for. Too dark. Must be some quaint little shop with a funny name.

This was the street we walked along. Bright lights and all, but got a little spooked by this funny man who passed us and tried to scare us silly. KNN.

No idea what I took this "Old Shanghai Small Dragon Inn" for either.

Haha, this I took at the request of GJPS. Wonder why they feature a Hulk-Hogan-lookalike to promote massage?

What an ultimate fantasy. We stopped to take a peek at the products they sold.

I can see the pictures but I'm not sure if you guys can cos this was sent via email. Let me know if you can't alright?

Monday, April 25, 2005

1+1+1 = ?

Damn. An entry I attempted to blog through my mobile got lost to God knows where.

Reached home an hour ago from Junk's place, after a quick stop over at Gothic Jap Porn Star's place and cooked ramen for lunch.

The sun looks good. Shall type this fast and get my ass down to the pool.

My head is positively malfunctioning from the over-exercising and lack of sleep from the past 3 days of being an owl.


Thursday, 21/04/05: Home doing the schools' database for Young Leaders Foundation Sg till wee hours, 3 plus.

Friday, 22/04/05: Woke up at 8plus, desperately attempting to clear the work for Fudge. Lunch. Swim. Exercise. Work. Run. Swim. Swim. Then to Gotham. Overstayed. Was supposed to go home by 1.30am cos of the classes I've got to teach at Parkway at 9am. GJPS and I stayed till 4.45am. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Was dared to dance with this ultra big sized girl nicknamed Big Badangdangs by GJPS and another 5 minutes of dirty dancing with her. I won of course. 2 favours from GJPS. I dared her to talk to the old and new Djs at Gotham and get their names and numbers (not inclusive of my King duh!) and she failed. This sneaky little woman was trying to ask King for help instead and I was smart to stop her from her little evil plans. I got their names and numbers though. Muahahaha! And in addition, Samsung gave us both free drinks after the free flow closed at 1am. Wahaha. And Red Jacket Man's drinks were POTENT!!! 2.5 hours of sleep.

Saturday, 23/04/05: Colleague woke me up. Went work. Reached work fucking early. And taught for a full 6 hours. Home at 4. Pool overflowing with cranky parents, screaming kids, bikini-clad women and children in the swimming lessons. Gave up. Ate. Slept 2 hours. Woke up. Dinner. Lounged by pool. GJPS arrived, swam. Went out with Wannabe and his best friend Androsphinx. Wannabe drove to my place. Picked us up, gave Maggi a lift to Cityhall. Went for suppr and he paid for chicken wings+curly fries+tiger beer at Hooters. Good. Haha. 3-inch golden heels. Looking good, but aching feet. Paid $12 for entrance (inclusive of a first drink). Free flow closed by then. Saw Big Badangdangs. Some cute mat tried to pick me up with cheesy pick up lines about my race. Come on, I don't exactly look mina right? Just like this other malay guy who once asked me for my number at Coffeebean Wheelock. Dang. Once again, Wannabe paid for all 3 jugs. Loving King's R&b music more and more each day. Maggi had her wallet stolen from her handbag while she was clubbing at Cocco latte, so Wannabe drove GJPS while I in Androsphinx's car to Orchard Police Post at Killeny Road to meet Maggi. Did my best to entertain Maggi and 2 of her friends (though it's really to cheer her up). Damn policeman taking down her statement is one lousy bugger with baaaad engrish and hell of a bad memory for details. Stupid fuck. Wasted a good sleeping hour there. Androsphinx sent us home tired and all, walked Maggi to her place, got home and finally slept at 6.37am. Did I mention King called me IMMEDIATELY after a simple message to him saying that I am finally heading home after leaving the police station. Pure bliss from his concern. So sweet.

*** The childish writing is to expedite my typing to get ready for my swimming soon and for your convenience in reading***

Sunday, 24/04/05: Back to King. He asked me where I'd be going later in the night. And of cos where else can you go on a Sunday night but Happy? He said he'll call and will drop in to catch up. Where was I.. oh on sleeping. Woke up at 9 plus 10 plus? Woke GJPS up and rushed down together to meet Sherry and her 3 commando friends (Weejay, Col and Geena) at Harbourfront for our Sentosa beach outing. Loads of hot babes. Drrroooolllls. Lovely. Haha. Had fun kayaking, swimming, tanning and just watching the beach volley competition. Wish every of my Sundays could be like this. Left at 6 plus 7 headed to Far East for dinner. Parted ways, went home change into shoes to go Happy. Didn't even bother much about the clothes. Reached at 2345 in my ultra short adidas hornets shorts and lousy spag strap top. Paid $12 for 2 glasses of vodka lime cos was 1-4-1. Good. New female dj at the console. Not bad. Met Ad (Manager-in-training at Chinablack) and Alloy (ex-Chinablack bartender) ,Vicks and her boyfriend and Eureka (both whom I got to know from Gotham and has respectively quitted Gotham to go back to the new Centro that's starting soon in the first week of May!) and finally my boy aka King! Some guys bought champagne, offered to us. 3 glasses for myself, 4 glasses for GJPS. One tequila shooter that Mr Bond gave to us each. And the best part, 1 jug of extra strong Vodka Lime FOC (FREE FREE FREE!!!) from Ergo. I had waved my card at him to get his attention. Usual practice would be to collect the card at the same time for the cashier to charge the transaction to the mastercard while the bartender prepares the drinks. He merely went on to make the drinks, and left the jug there on the counter for me. I tried passing him my card and nope he didn't take the card I flashed. SO whee! I've gotten a free jug! Plus Ad had me to down his jug of vodka ribena and cheekily said, "Let's all get drunk tonight!" while trying to dance with me. What can I say? Intoxicated as I was, there was no memory space left for Martell, the sullen black face 24/7, except for King. Oh yea, Junk was there too and tried to get me to her home again. She fucking groped my breasts under my bra while I was leaning over (cos high already mah!) Oh my! At that point, I really didn't know what I wanted man. There's no doubt she wants to pleasure me (yes, she promised me pleasure, if not I could spit into her face!) but I was just so uncertain. I don't want a foreign finger stuffed in me, nor a damn dildo, nor anything like that? Don't people just understand that I don't crave or desire sex? I'm fine just kissing, necking, cuddling up and hugging. Oh and the fear that King may see it was just nagging at the back of my head. FF, I hope I am more "decided" than before.. cos nothing just feels right. There was a couple of times that King disappeared and I was so worried that it was cos I wasn't exactly talking to him and leaving him in the company of his Gotham colleagues and friends, who were busy having fun and socialising. Ok, "I'll be back in a while" he said. GJPS pointed to me that that was very sweet of him. He was probably talking to his girfriend. Finally had a good look of Martell's new girl. Wow. So pretty. So pretty I feel small, lowly, insignificant and ashamed of myself. I am not pretty at all. Fat short and ugly. No wonder he doesn't want me. I am superficial, but I just can't help but want to be much prettier. And this, I think will only be achieved with plastic surgery. Sigh. I need a morale booster. Mine sank like the Titanic did. 60,ooo leagues under water. Anyway, left cos GJPS was tired and a little gone. Frankly, so was I. Said my byes to the peeps and hugged King good night after he came back from dancing (this is memorable cos it's my first hug with him! Sometimes, being all high gives you the perfect reason to do things you would never dare do in your conscious state of mind). Plus the console at Gotham generally is a high wall that does not allow me to have easy access to him unlike meeting him out of that. Like talking to him when I was daring GJPS on Friday.

The emotional cross-wires of: Having a beautiful-Greek-god-likeness man whom I could have fallen very deeply in LOVE with, had it not been for I-also-don't-know-what-it-is (Martell the Happy supervisor); a sweet caring charming Eurasianish-looking chinese boy whom I already like albeit his not-single-nor-available status and a potential mate I can talk to and love (King the Gotham deejay); a sexually-frustrated-wanting-my-body butch who's old enought to be my mother had she given birth at age 18 (but so good at kissing I have to admit, that it can make me swoon) and not ideal in any way (Junk the Este staff); a lonely soul I would think, who confessed his liking for me but then again he probably liked every other girl out there and erhm well not one whom I like to begin with or will love, especially more so after his episode with GJPS, though he's one who cares enough to ask and listen to me ramble on my state of well-being after a freakish long week (Ergo the Happy bartender); all gathered at the same place, is unbearable.

I am not a player like GJPS. I just can't be. So players out there, steer clear of my way. Stay far away from me.

I woke up at Jalan Redok. Junk's place.

I did not sleep with her on her bed, rest assured. I slept with my GJPS in the gym room.

Even before I knocked out on the made-shift bed, I could still vaguely remember wanting to talk to the boy first, messaging the King a last time and him replying me... Short but sweet. It's not the gender, it is really the person.

I think to myself... What would it have been like if I had ended up with Martell? There's some food for thought.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Quite gone

Another drink and I'll prolly puke! Sam gave me and the Gothic Jap Porn Star an extra drink each.. Quite strong somemore.. I'm very high now.. Dang I've got to teach at 9 at s.parkway tomorrow.. Die.. So happy tonight.. My boy or rather King talked and messaged a lot! He looks ultra eurasian as compared to usual! Hee. I'm a very happy girl.. Love my dear boy! Ok I need to sleep.. Hope this post from my phone gets through!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


On bus 851, heading home from Bugis. Hear the Queen do her mighty roar... Cos the King called again while I was shopping around with Marycherry! 3.14pm yesterday and 7.12pm just now! And big improvement for the conversation was 12minutes 1second long and a quality one! It's nice knowing that he calls me to talk despite his hectic schedule during his breaks. Yesterday was during lunch and just now while he was on his way to Gotham to spin. There's a SMU bash there tonight. Wonder if Doll will be there. Heh. She can prolly sneak me in. Oh well. He promised to call again later. We'll see if he's anything like the promise-breaker Martell. Any guys out there who uses Clinique Happy for men? I need but that few drops to spray into my atomiser. I don't need a 50 or 100ml just like 10 sprays will be good enough.

Monday, April 18, 2005

The Whore with Balls

the GJPS hereby decides that Mr Bond shall herein be called GJPS's =>

Zits, work, fever, school, lunch?

All that we spoke of in our short conversation of 4min 59s long.
It was sweet of you to have called me, King, during your rather late lunch.
Bet ya miss me from my absence at Gotham on Saturday. Sniggers.
What strikes a chord with the lost, the fornlorn, and the empty hollow shells? Cynism or melancholy.
Ignore me. This post is of utmost irrelevance. These days are gonna be filled with such ridicule.
Pardon any speeeeling error(s).

I miss and crave him.

Clinique Happy for men, his scent.
Martell and I looking and turning away as our eyes meet.
Jerkyamamaass (the very long nickname suggested by GJPS, which will eventually be shortened to Jerky though I doubt he'll be mentioned often) finally did me good in serving me by lighting my stick.
I can't reply the comments cos I'm on GPRS. And blardy inconvenient. Sorry.
Yes I am that lazy to just log on to my home computer though I am but a few feet away.
My email inbox is jammed packed with 500++ emails (and reaching 600++) from Cowboy Bar. Dang. And that's but from a mere absence of 4 days from my computer. I may just die if I have to check them from my phone.
Photos from my Friday night at Gotham, Saturday and Sunday nights at Happy. Soon.
Indulge me in your fragrance. It gets me so high. And gives me an adrenaline rush.
Tell me you miss me tonight. Cos I do wish I have more of you in me. Before the memories begin to fade away.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Happy not the same

Am now at Happy with the Gothic Jap Porn Star and the Joy Boy. Happy doesn't feel the same for me tonight. Last night at Gotham was so fun and enjoyable despite having overstayed there and feeling all knackered for my interview at NTU this morning. Emo? Perhaps from the small group session I had earlier on in church. I need some insulation from this dreary world. Ok. Shall not dampen the Happy pals spirit.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Miss what?

I miss the joy of being hugged to sleep. Ask mummy daddy or sister to hug lor. I miss cuddling up to sleep. That's what soft toys and bolsters are invented for, to enhance quality of sleep. I miss being spooned in my sleep. Suck on a damn plastic spoon silly. I miss being kissed before sleep. Pucker up your lips and position over your hands. Lean forward. Press against it. There you just got kissed. I miss... What the fuck? Don't miss anymore. Nothing and no one is worth missing.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Mighty Drunk

Is the girlfriend. Am sleeping at the Gothic Jap Porn Star's place. That girl hopeless. To think I had 7 glasses of strong housepours in less than an hour and still fine, not even high. Even Sam's strong drinks can't get me down. That girl puked her guts out literally and guess what.. I'm taking over her art class at Kellock at 1130 cos she'll prolly sleep the day away. Had to force her to down cups of water. Sigh. Someone knock sense into me please? Why am I doing all this?

Damn Myself

Why am I so obliging? Damn it. I am at Gotham right now. Sitting and having my third vodka lime in just 8 minutes. Waiting for my Gothic Jap Porn Star. I left house in 5 minutes after she called my home telling me she's drunk. Sigh. I am too soft-hearted. Too silly. I love her too much. Yes this is what people in love does. I love my girl just too damn much. Enough to forsake my senses, throw caution to the wind and abandon all that my very intelligent brain cells is saying.

So bored so I blog

My msn nick set to: How do you measure loneliness?

Ting: It goes by pounds
Me: Hahahaha
Ting: The more lonely, the more I eat, and all convert to weight.

How do you measure it?

Ting was once 22. Now 27.
I was once 23.5. Now 25.5

And that's our waistlines after 2-3 months. We can do with some Marie France Bodyline slimming package.

Great. Both of us are forsaking our jeans for skirts and dresses. Don't laugh. I said, "DON"T LAUGH".

Drift: Innocent looking girls.. who are not so innocent. Hmm.
Me: Hahahahha contradictory ah? I am the opposite
Drift: Should be quite a turn on for most people. Haha.
Me: I am slutty looking and completely innocrifent not a turn on at all hahahahaha
Drift: Hahaha. Hmm.. Some might find it a turn on though. Haha.

The key word is "some".

Me: Wah... the lesbian girl called me again. She wanted to bring me home hahahahah
Drift: Who?
Me: The lesbian girl whom I made out with
Drift: Wah... I should join in...
Me: Hahahahaahha
Drift: Haha. Bah.
Me: She not the pretty pretty kind
Drift: What am i thinking?
Me: hahaha what are you thinking?
Drift: Haha. Erm.
Me: She the active kind.. not butch but guyish type
Drift: I don't know also. Haha. I'll leave it to your imagination. Haha.
Me: Wahahahha...... I have a very wild imagination you know.
Drift: Maybe it's as wild as mine..

I can think of a lot of kinky things leh... You are too sweet to be wild lah boy. And that's because you have your super lovable+adorable girlfriend. But then again, all men are horny. So I shan't discount that.

* Drift is a blogger church friend whom in this case prefers to remain unknown. Haha. He's too ashamed of himself after having said he wanted to join in the, uhm, party, with the lesbian girl. Threesome? Haha.

Me: So cute the photo (Meaning this that I saw over her Msn display)
Me: looks even cuter in such size! (Larger version in her blog entry)
Ting: NOT CUTEEEE it will be cuter if its 22
Me: 22 will be skinnier and sexier. cute is rounder hahahah
Ting: Ok I wan to be sexy
Ting: Hahahaa I will resolve to lose a lil in the next wk
Me: Hahahaha it is so funny this part "Tingism. SHUCKS! KARMA AH! says: i wan to be sexy"
Me: Hahahahah I also wan can?
Ting: Wahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ting: I fail
Ting: Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There you go.


I can't blog further.

Damn my girl is drunk.


Again. Yes again.


Damn it.

I got to go pick GJPS up. Holy shit.


Yes, repeat after me.


Ok, now I feel much better.

Damn it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Meet up with Barffie

Holy shit! I am late again! So sorry babe! Am now on 54 typing out this post! Damn my finances do not allow me the luxury of cabbing down unfortunately! And the sudden influx of swimmers at my house pool this evening had me caught waiting for a bath stall. Damn it. Hurry hurry uncle I am so late! I've finally gotten my email working no thanks to my forgetful memory! In any case, I miss GJPS. Take care girl.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Photo Recap 03: Friday, 08/04/05

Fag Hag Appreciation Night.

Meet-up with the bloggers. The venue changed 3 times.
1) Happy
2) Thumper
3) Kopitiam

I wished I could unveil the pictures/video of Airhole, Shion, Vamptress, Jane Doe aka Biatch and Ting taken at Kopitiam at Hotel Rendevous here. But... I am bounded by my promises. So even Mandrake's promise of protection from the very violent Airhole who threatens to do me in the way he did to Shion over the Cowboycaleb's CowboyBar and the offer to host the video on liquidblade is just aint enough to buy my loyalty.

Instead let me offer you a view of Happy taken on my second visit on the 16th of February.

It's relatively empty cos it was a Wednesday night at 10 plus.

The hidden corners for making out. Not including the toilet. Then again, the gay men are relatively open in making out, almost anywhere in the club.

The deejay console.

And the dj himself. Marvin Kam.

There, I told you these men are very very liberal. Not at all anal about making out in public.

But this was taken at the open toilet feared by many modest strait-laced men.

This is what excites me. The alcohol duh.

And finally this, what LMD craved two days back on Sunday night after being featured in the Sunday Times.

.. Oh yes, that Sunday night (Monday morning) that I was at Happy, meeting King.

Hoegaarden anybody?

So now, it seems that Cowboycaleb's suggestion of sheesha, kopi and food at Arab Street is rather well-received by the barflies. The mixed sausages I shared with Jenkins there is really good.

Damn, got spammer on my comments. WTF?

Lastly, one guy I smooched thinking he was gay.

Say hi to Malcom peeps! He is Pam Oei's brother by the way. This was taken on his birthday. The birthday cake was damn yummy. But not him. FUCK. My bad.

Digressed, too happy whoring my photos taken with my 7610. It's hefty carrying a bulky digital camera around. So make do with the lower quality photos.

Like I said, the meet-up with the bloggers last Friday could definitely be improved. Don't get the wrong idea, it wasn't bad except it could be made better.

1) Hold the meeting in a loungy pub, not club. (Too noisy for conversations)
2) Meet up over makan (Food unites all stomachs)
3) Have drivers to faciliate the way home. (Airhole is excellent by the way!)
4) Have a central figure to coordinate the meet-up. (In cases of emergencies and getting lost!)
5) Read up*** (This one is crucial! Read the blogs of the people you are meeting up with!!! This helps to break the ice, navigating along familiar topics!)
6) Be open-minded to criticisms, feedback, jibes and jokes at your expense (You get to learn more)

1) Be late. (Oops. I was and not very polite of me! Sorry went to enjoy some free alcohol first!)
2) Bring along any none-blogging friends (They tend to get very bored)
3) Be shy.

Lastly, just enjoy yourself!

Photo Recap 02: Saturday, 09/04/05

Was out in town with Sunshine.

Saw this talented drummer boy, called Ethan Ong, aged 6, and been playing the drums since 2. My second time seeing this boy busk along Orchard Road, the first was last year. Had a video taken but no idea where I could upload it so... here's a picture of Sunshine with the cute little boy I had wanted to marry.

Got myself a black dress, a white knitted tube top, and 2 pairs of heels. All for $120. So poor.

And saw this bag at Bata:

Had thought it was a "Mr Brown" endorsement till I remove the shoes covering it for a clearer picture. Turns out it wrote, "mc brown bag".

Anyway, remember that bitch who stole my mrt seats with her daughter?

So you know what to do if you see her on the train the next time ya?

That's Sunshine on the left, and the two evil ones on the right. To think my girl was so nice to even swap seats with the evil mom so that mother daughter can sit together. GRRR.

I was standing facing her and apparently, she who knows no shame, is too embarrassed to look at me in the eye.

Close up of the not at all innocent looking girl.

Had a nap at Sunshine's place where that humsup dog of hers stood staring at me change up.

This is Cookie. Panting hard at my half naked body. Lol.

Photo Recap 01: Monday, 11/04/05

Happy 21st Birthday to my dear Marycherry!

I don't think she'll like having her picture posted on www so no babe here, just the mundane items that we came across yesterday in our meet-up.

Browsed most parts of heeren. Then most parts of paragon. Got hungry. Had lunch at Coffeeclub.

This was my main course. My appetizer was soup of the day.

This was Marycherry, the birthday girl's main course, whereby 3 out of her 6 hotdogs was devoured by me. Heh. Her cleavage was accidental. Didn't know how that got into the picture

Was tempted to get this top from mango because well, the Queen, is a star.

A pity I didn't get a picture of Marycherry in the very butt-flattering white casual pants and purple slippers I got for her birthday.

Lagging behind

My to do list is piling up!

Just take a look:

1) Update myself on all the blogs I read
2) Sort out the links on my blogroll
3) Sort out the photos and upload them onto Flickr
4) Sort out the junk accumulated on my computer
5) Sort out my clothes amassed on my bed
6) Sort out my finances ***
7) Sort out my life
8) Find 5-day week job

Trust me. That's but the few important stuff I've picked out of the others equally important but deemed negligble for the moment.

And the only thing I have done so far? None of the above other than blogging and thinking of going for a run/swim. The sun is exceptionally good.

Enough said

The weekend came and passed like a whirlwind.

Emotional upheaval
Mental Brainstorm
Physical Weariness

Thanks to all for the encouragement, support, warm wishes, etc etc.

I have to apologise for not making the effort to reply the tags or comments. Just taking a look at my blog, and you'll realise, I haven't even had time to do up the links to all the blogs/bloggers. Publishing posts via GPRS on the mobile is effortless while logging in to the site is time consuming and cost incurring.

In any case, I am definitely feeling much better now.

I know I promised photos and all, including that of the mini blogger meeting at Happy.

It's coming it's coming.

At least I have completed step 1 of uploading the photos onto my computer. Am onto executing step 2 of uploading the photos onto the world wide web. So be patient and wait.

So my GPRS didn't function properly

11/04/05, 8.20pm:

Close to 7 hours of walking and shopping on a 2.5 inch heels has made me a stronger man. Met up with Marycherry at 1pm at Heeren to shop for presents for her 21st birthday! Wasn't really a celebration of sorts cos I was mostly bitching and ranting. Thanks so much dear for that listening ear and even attempting to cheer me up despite feeling depressed herself. Will not elaborate too much save for the presents I got her: a pair of casual white pants and lovely purple slips. Had nice soup, cheese sausages, and triple choc fudge* for lunch at Coffee Club at Paragon. Damn my aching feet are so about to give way. The 5 minute walk home seems so ardous. Alright, home in a minute. Let's hope sending this post via my GPRS works.

* Triple choc something is a large scoop of ice-cream with brownies.

Monday, April 11, 2005


It's been a long time since I last used this term on myself.

Feeling both lost and the pang of loss.

I am known as sluttobe on Jenkin's blog. Am seen by Kell and Mr Bond as a hungry for attention _______ (slut/whore/whatever you name it). And even my very own Gothic Jap Porn Star thinks I do not have/practise restraint over the boys she love!?!?

I am cracking up. To look slutty is one thing, but to say that I am one or behave like one really is the limits.

Great, slutty without even having to try so hard.

Does being friendly, engaging in small talk with friends (new and old alike) constitutes as flirting? I don't paw or maul them nor touch them anywhere at all. I can if I want to but I do NOT and did not. I did not lay my hands on your men. I just don't get it. I don't need to go so low to seek attention. I might as well just strip and have men stare at me. Sorry but I don't.

I thought I understand you, but guess I was wrong. You don't tell me things, mostly partial truths or not at all. Yes, enlighten me, tell me where I have gone wrong. Cos I really just don't get it.

I am not bitching here. I need and want to resolve this. But from the looks of it, we are damn far away from that.

A plea to the Big One above

Lord, I know I am undeserving of your mercy. But I need You so badly now.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

King called...

Not once, not twice but thrice!

The first one came early this morning at 6.40am, which was a missed call, cos I was sound asleep on the Gothic Jap Porn Star's bed for the second night in a row (she molested by poor boobies) and my phone was on silent.

I gave him a missed call at 12.35pm as well and messaged him.

All was quiet.



And still waiting.

Then a message came in at 9.58pm. Him. King. I didn't reply immediately. Wanted to just wait and see how it goes. Plus I was frantically trying hard to contact GJPS. Then he called about 15 minutes later.

Oh my. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Am losing steam breath. Orgasmic. It feels entirely weird being in a conversation with him again. I'm stuttering. That tongue-tied mumbling. Frantically being so careful not to say the wrong/dumb things to him. Over the other line, you can hear him breathless and busy spinning his tracks and also fumbling over his words.


I am losing control. No. Steady steady.

Steady yourself Queen. Don't get overexcited, overexhilarated, and over the moon! My life does not revolve around King.

We spoke for another 10 minutes or so... and he had to busy himself again... But with the promise to call back 2 minutes later.

Well, it took slightly over 10 minutes but the wait was good just listening to him talk for a mere 1 minute and 49 seconds.

Guess what? We are meeting. At Happy. (Damn of all places! This place has too many memories of Martell the Happy supervisor) So must act sweet. Wear sweet. Not slutty. Alright NOT slutty. NOT SLUTTY! Gotta go prepare now!

Remember, wear pretty and SWEET!!!

Have a half-written draft on the mini blogger convention on Friday at Happy. And tips for the bloggers meeting up for the first time. Will publish it via my mobile later.

Wish me loads of luck.

I am a virgino

From CLEO magazine April's issue,

Work: Organised creativity will be the key to success and if you feel overwhelmed , get real! Step back and you'll see how easy it is to get what you want.

Hmm, does this means I can work at getting King? And I'll succeed?

Play: If friends lack your intensity and spontaneity, a little persuasion is all it'll take to break down their reserve and create fabulous times! From the 9th, if life doesn't feel exciting enough, take control before boredom leads to trouble.

Uh oh. I sense bad repercussions from the talk/actions of the past months. Today's the 10th already. Jialat. Control control, must have control. People, help me to stay out of trouble, or in other words, keep me entertained.

Love (Singles): If churning emotions confuse you, experiment and work out what you really want - Isn't that the fun of being single? A philosophical approach will lead to sexy times from the 28th.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Now is this good or bad? I like the word "experiment". It exudes power in a certain sense because as the tester, you can set controls and variables to alternate your outcomes. You determine what you want. But experimenting = trial and error. And that also means failures amongst the sucesses. Despite having taken Physics since Sec 2 till JC, and being a Science Enrichment Teacher the past 2 years, and telling my kids that if at first try you don't get it (whatever results you want to obtain), try again till you get it, it is not as easy when it comes down to carrying out that mantra.

Sucks, the mother is nagging. Bah.

10/04/05, 5.21am:

Gotham is bad tonight despite having had my fill of free alcohol.

All was ruined because of a girl called Jolene. I knew from the moment I saw her that she is King's girlfriend.

Oh that didn't stopped her from flirting blatantly behind King's back with another man at the fucking/shag lounge near the ladies.

Ok, my bad because I should have known what I was getting myself in when I first laid my eyes on King. Despite finding out that he's attached shortly after he messaged me the third time, I persisted in my liking for him.

I'm such an awesome player of this dating ritual or fucking game whatever you want to call it, as brilliant as Maria Shaparova is at tennis. Everyone thinks I am this slutty looking bitch who's easy with her fucks. Yeah go ahead and think that way. I am one cheap Queen. Buy me a gazillion drinks, you have my body and get an easy lay.

Anyway, a fight broke out tonight and Batman dislocated his finger in the process. Poor Bat.

Poor me. Why did I meet King 7 months too late? It could have been short fat ugly me instead of that stinking shorter, fatter uglier witch with him now. Lord have mercy on my bleeding shattered heart. It's hard fixing a broken hardened heart... Especially for one who gives her heart so easily and yet fall deeply for a man and remains utterly faithful to him even after eons. I'm tired. Need hibernation.

09/04/05, 7.48pm:

Nabeh to the pair of mother-daughter seat thieves!

Nobody offends the Queen and get let off so easily!

My legs tired sore and aching from all that walking in heels of 2 inches high (just see what vanity does to us women and yes you pay a price for it!) and this nice kind courteous bitch has the audacity to steal my mrt seats!

Fuck haven't had a taste of the Queen's mighty flight kick before right? Tamade.

Seats cos first her stupid no brainer lack proper upbringing daughter snatched mine on the right of my girlfriend Sunshine. Then just as this other person on the left of my Sunshine stood up to exit the train, it was obvious that me, the Queen, standing right in front of that seat wants to sit down.

Remember this precious saying bitch and that is "Thou shalt not covet your neighbour's belongings". Cos you'll reap what you sow. What goes around comes around.

p/s: Have 3 photos of the thieves but they ought to thank their lucky stars that I am not as grudgingly mean as Xiaxue and that I am feeling too lazy to upload the photos from my phone. Bluetoothing is easy actually. But it's hard battling procrastination. So the pictures for another day.

09/04/05, 6.03am:

The Queen is not very happy tonight. Make that last night. Other than meeting 3 blogger friends for the first time and seein Ting a second time.. The night really sucked.

My grouse: The lack of alcohol. Damn man. Went to Gotham thinking that the free drinks for ladies will end at 1 as usual but turns out the new management that took over changed the time to 12!

Ahhhhhhh.. Nabeh.

I'm an el cheapo la like barffie! Even my bartender friends there can't help for once! Fuck. How can one live on such clarity? Quote Gothic Jap Porn Star.

To think I paid a good $12 to get my ass in for a lousy drink and a nice warm smile frm King? Fucking cheesebuns. Batman told me to get King to put me on the damn guest list but this kinda stuff is to be offered and not asked. Plus I can't act the part of a girly whiner! I am an alpha female duh, one so charming that even the sexually straight Ting wanted to marry me this morning.

In any case, made my way to Happy cussing at Gotham like some mad hare while on the way to meet Shion, Jane Doe and Airhole!

The regal graceful lady-like Queen finally makes her enchanting entrance! Mope you men.

It's free entrance for me cos of my student card. Didn't see Martell around. Fuck.. I'm highly stuck on that fragrance he uses.. Ugh!

But caught up with Pam and Terrific and had a short chit chat with her. Am stunned by her revelation. Will write more about this later. Didn't stay for long.

Driver Airhole drove us down to Thumper. Thank You sweetie!

Boring. Don't like the music. Yeah i may dance to the music but me enjoying it is faked! Anyway, GJPS likes the funky lookin dj! I'm not exactly sure if this is even allowed to surface on the blog. She's not happy tonight la. Sigh.

The bestest thing that happened took place at 0556, just before I wanted to sleep.. King called.. We chatted for 10 minutes. I don't believe this. No i really don't believe this. He called. I'm too over the moon to sleep though i'm so damn tired.. He's such a sweet little thing.. Fuck really need to seduce him over to the dark side and break him and the girlfriend up! God, no bad karma please.. Pretty please! Ok, better stop here before I spout more nonsense.

And finally, Airhole may seem to have loads of nonsense. But wise is he. Wise. I hope I haven't disgraced myself sounding highly bimbotic. Sheesh. Alright good night at long last. Typing this on the mobile is sure tiring. FF I wish I was drunk. Sigh. Oblivion is bliss.

An Old Note To Clear In My Phone

Models 101:

Don't flare your nostrils.

Always tilt your head.

Every road is your runway.

Everyone else is just jealous of you.

No point living if you are not beautiful.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Similar No?

Necks are the same everywhere.

What about dicks? Oh they differ in size.

Just look at Mr Bond and compare that to Ergo fully erected.

Miles apart, no I mean inches apart, circumference (thickness) and length wise.

Happy, makes you like the feeling...

Damn fine day it is!

I'm on cloud nine, seventh heaven,euphoria, ecstasy whatever happy feelin you call it.

Nope, Martell didn't call, neither did he message nor did we meet..But boy am i Damn glad i went to Gotham after all with the Gothic Jap Porn Star..Cos I just may meet up with King alone after close to two months of friendship and messagin!

Congratulate me please? Haha..

Best of all, I didn't ask him out.. He mistook/misunderstood my sms to him as askin him out! Haha! I'm not gonna correct him at least till after we meet! So effectively, i can say that he asked me out first!

Am typing this at 5.47am while on e cab with the darlin GJPS sleepin on my comfortable nice fat thighs again.

And it's not a coincidence that King called me for the second time at 0444 again! And this time, I even took a photo of my received calls as keepsakes. Another beautiful memory of him.

Am thinkin of how I should seduce him over and break him and his girlfriend up! Oh gosh. What bad karma i'll get..Like puttin on 5 kg! Ugh noooooo! Will just see how things flow between us..If the chemistry is volatile!

Haha! Am a happy girl tonight.. And yes I drank 10 shots at least.. And this time, I am drunk on happiness and not alcohol! Friday at Happy is Fag Hag Night.. So any takers? I'm definitely going! FF, you want? Hee..

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Mozilla that Cheesbun!

Damn it!


Mozilla is supposed to be top-notched and STABLE!!!

It hung on me again!!!

ARGH!!!!! My long long entry!!!

What the fuck~!@#$%^&*()_+\=-{}][';l/<>?


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Sexual Disorientation

I have got time on hand after all.


Yay, only need to leave house at 12.15. So that gives me another 20 minutes to go. Goody, I am such a procrastinator. More time to start another thread on the Cowboybar.

This song has been playing in my head... "Loving you is easy cos you're beautiful..."

I love Martell! Whoo I really do.

Sorry that was nonsensical.

I am in a dilemma. Need time to sort this out myself. Sigh. Like how to test check if I am straight? Cos I am not 100% lesbian, and being bisexual does irk me often than not. It's like sitting on the damn fence, picking whichever that fits.


Need advice. Seriously. I don't wanna end up a sexual perv. Gonna go. Tootsie peeps. F1! F1 F1 F1!!!


No time.
Am late.
Gonna go down to Chinatown to help out the Young Leaders'.
Still loving Martell. Love him till the end of time? Well, at least till I've found someone new or for the next 3-4 months, whichever comes first.
Perhaps Australia is waiting for my arrival, to comfort me.
So sorry I don't have time to reply any comments. Will try to do so later.
Am meeting my sister's classmate or is it hockey mate Dannyboy from NJC to shop later. Our first time meeting. Will need divine intervention.
Only have got time to read one or two blogs... and that will definitely be FF's one and Mr Brown's. Haha. Need the daily staple before leaving house.
I love Martell. Girlfriend or not.

Monday, April 04, 2005

sad my soul is

I am overwhemed with intense grief for the no-longer-available status of Martell.

But there are still good news to share... like from LMD.

How sweet.

The kinda stuff that keeps people going.

Screw Firefox

Damn it to hell.

Am so pissed that the precious words I wrote got lost. And best of all, I can't recall the exact stuff I wrote cos it was one damn long post.

Have been mulling over Martell's girfriend. I, for once, can't recall. Damn. I think she's pretty. Oh skinny definitely. Fark her. Steal my Martell. I am highly tempted to beat the crap outta her. But doing so will dirty my royal fingers. Oh, and royalty do not resort to violence.

There, I need to think of something solid to punish this bitch.

Eat my blood soaked tampon you biatch! Eughhhhhhhh...

Alright, that's too evil and bad karma will fall. So... Ugh.

There all the inspiration is gone! KNN.

Fark Firefox

My pain-stakingly written post disappeared all thanks to Mozilla Firefox! Sobs.


I am so damn high.

fuck. tje drimls were da,m potemt can/

Amd all tjese mo tjamls to Mr Bomd whom i ordered myu drionks from. my baretender friend at Happy

Had wanted to go Gothjam for a drink. But it was too lonely there/ Plus i messaged King and he saod the only people there other than the staff are the flies at the vip room. oh guck patheic can/.

anyway. Gptham closes at 2 instead of its usual 5 tonight. make that last night.

so with taht, King messaged agaom at aropunmd 1.24 to tell me that Gotham is closing already. Hey. i thought the management was anal about its clsoing time???!!!

Gosh i am so gonna regrety typomg this inmchohernt emtyr.

For someone who drank so much. im proud to say i am still standing. in fact, I managed to walk home to Braddell from Marriot Hotel, that's at Tangs by the wya..

Yeah all the way home in less than half an hr. so proud of myself :)


Oh and managed to drop by 7-11 at far east to get myself a cuip noodles.

cjeers tp myself to myself!!! not only that. i made my way home SAFELTY and yesh managed to bnoil uip some water for my cup noodles and changed by bloody soaked tampon!

you didnt hear wrongly. YES my booody tampon! gucing leaking alreadythat my thong's all blood soaked as well. Now thats alittle too much infor,atiopm for you guys.

Best part, i managed to change myself and guess what, even successfully ironed my younger brother's schjppl uniform!!!!

And thats with at least like 15 shots of alcojold! no kidding.

ok bacl tp my titel of undetermined. uNdetermmind because I made out with a GAY MAN, A STRAIGHT mAN, and a LEsbian! yeah what a feat huh?

hahaha! but of them all i enjoyed myslef most with the lesbian!

the gay's called Terrific who,,m iI got tpo knpw at Happy like since a a month and a hjalf back. thats about close to two months. and its not the first time we've kissed. but its ok. he dont get a hard-on nor do i get love0joy from hhim.

then the straight man Ergo, he's a bartender at Happy. or was. no still is. but parttime. he works at Rave at times. he's the same perv who took a picure of my cleavage with my mobile the second time I went back to Happy. still have got the photo. can up;opad it later.

not now when im still hjigh.

oh the third one, meaning the lesbian, she works at a clubat dunno where.. think its Carke Quay... and wooh. she's hot. I mean she's cool. name is Junkie . ueah/

Best part is martell fucking kssed the gothic JPa Porn star and ugh. He's attached. Or so he speaks. Even mr Bond, the GJ{S' lover baby is attacheched. im wondering if its all bull shit.

Great. what a unhappy night at Happy.

i fuckig puked from the extrea strong drink mr bond gave me... but thats cos I ordered extra strong in the first place.. and him being such an obliging friend followed myu wishes.

then ergo gave me so much free drinks. yeash he forced me to down them all./

Bleahg. and oh l;esbian bought me two drinks. wah lao.

Im proud to say Im standing. Not very straight and tall though.

left Happyu when lights came on. made our way to Bar NOne at Marriot hotlle.

puked like some running tap. grossssss.

nevermind that.

danced alittel. but the bloody tampon that was beginning to hurt me fucking paintful lat!


So danced just a littled. kissed mr gay man Terrifc and straigjt man Ergo.

amd amptjer veru hot man.

finally left on my own and got ergo to send GJPS home!

And now I am tyuping this all. while thinking to myself. i am sexually undetermined.

Yesh i am.

Ergo wanted to bring me home. so did Junkie the les. But all i could do was to say a big fat No to the both of them. one cos GJPS wanted ERgo and she said if i didnt want him, she'll have her. so i left her with him. then JUnkioe. wanted to fuck me I think. Cos I was lying to her that I was nearing home though i was no where near home. i suggested we meet the next day instead, which is prolly later and she said, so what are you gonna do to me? and i asked back the same thing? hahah... her reply, "i can do so many things to you..."

oh gid.

nevermind that... i am missing Martell like crazxyu. am missing my dj Spruyt King and I miss my brother Jenkins. think i messaged him Stupid shit. but its ok, i deleted the messages in my sent folder so as not to remember whern i wake up.

fuck my cup noodles is kinda making me wanna ouke

og great

so now rhw pojnrt is.... M I FAY? GAY? straight or bisexual. very smart of the lesbian to detect that i am bi. buit serioisly, I am just undetermined.


heading to bed now. so tired. so gone.

still have to voluntter at Young Leaders tomorrow. shit. i Hope i can wake up.

nights everyone. or morning.

loving you peeps. missing you peeps. and best, missing fucking Martell.

GJPS i hope you are fine. wherever you are.sorry gal, im too high even for myu own good.


[p/s: i kissed pam ooi too! or rather she smooched me so many times!! you know who pam ooi is? the short actress from channel u/ stage actress! she's short but hot! mauahahahahahah

Sunday, April 03, 2005

This a Saturday night/Sunday morning...

Which should be spent out and not in at home!!!


Had wanted my free alcohol. Had wanted to see my deejay. Had wanted to a good puff. Had wanted a good make-out session.

But had none of all that.

Yet, I have successfully watched countless hours of television, including or rather since Miss Singapore Universe, watching bimbotic airheads answer with such zest stupidly and the only one who shined through with her answers, my friend, had only managed a 1st runner up. My sister's friend Rebecca Lim was really ditzy too. But Miss Singapore Universe 2005 Cheryl Tay has a body so hot that I drooled.

Oh. 3.31am and I am bored. Very sad. I have got not life.

Blog-surfing again.

Ultimate Indulgence

I hate to overload my blog with unnecessary negativity.

Need booze.

I can't sleep. Not as bad as my dear Marycherry who is exceptionally down today.

Haha! Manberries! Sorry that was outta point. But reading Fat Fingers' entry was hilarious!

Am watching Bai Fa Mo Nu on channel 8. I've watched this classic at least 5 times already!

Did I mention I love pad-free days?

Ever since the day I have successfully shoved the damn tampon in, gone are the days of heavy soaked pads! Wahaha! It really is damn shiok! Light!

Am craving alcohol. Badly.

Am now watching Bai Fa Mo Nu 2.

Saturday, April 02, 2005


Been ill since Thursday night. And still am.

Sore throat, pounding headache, stuffy nose, fever.

Friday was fucked. Yes, the Queen gets bad days too. Many in fact. Anyway, rushed down to NUS to submit some documents and reached there just in time. Gosh, these people really have got to have their map properly drawn up. Cabbed down to Parkway Centre (a hefty taxi bill of $12.40! Fark!) to meet my boss Hairy Pits to get her to complete an appraisal form for me. Hairy Pits is irritating. I shan't waste my breath writing about her.

So why not move to happier topics? Oh that's cos I haven't had anything happy happening to me!!!


King didn't message. A pest that kept calling me "Sexy" messaged me persistently though. What irritant. I DO NOT like being called "Sexy" for your information. Call me sweetie (only applies to King or Martell, call me dear (for Marycherry), call me baby (for the Gothic Jap Porn Star, or just call me Queen. Anything, but sexy. It really sound so sleazy over the smses! Me being sexy has nothing to do with you!!! Bleagh.

I regret giving some friends my blog address. Cos it's times when I am exasperated, and with almost no one to confide to, and am desperately needing an outlet to rant yet this blog can't provide me the privacy of it so.

I don't wanna revert to the old blog at diary-x where I can password-protect certain private entries. On one hand, keeping a physical diary which i used to have, is not that bad an idea, other than the fact that the kay-poh mother of mine absolutely have no idea the meaning of respect and privacy.

Now how when I have so much to grouse about?

My Gothic Jap Porn Star was upset with me (again). Sigh.

Nevermind, let's not talk about it. And why did she have to mention Martell walking in front of her? Jealous? Not really, I'm not that sort of possessive woman. Plus I always have a harem of my men to choose from. I just didn't want to recall him (he's special to me lah!) at this point when I am feeling all so fragile, am desiring companionship and a little physical intimacy.

Back on topic about today's hectic schedule. Been up since 5.30am, making my way down to NTU to submit yet another of those supporting documents. And I hate the layout and the map of NTU just as much! And with not much time to go before I've gotta make my way to Parkway Centre (which is the other end of the island from NTU at Jurong!), I was really tight for time. I got off not knowing which stop I should drop off at. And thank God for this rather charming, quite hamsem man who was equally lost but DROVE!!! And he gave me a lift to my destination - Student Services Office. It was a pity that I was too absorbed in getting my stuff settled and rushing off to work that I, in my haste, forgot to ask for his name and number! Ugh. Kill me. Yes, just kill me. But to whoever you are, a very big THANK YOU for your help.

Will post again as soon as I am feeling better. For now, shall go bathe and pack up.

I miss I miss I miss... whoever the hell you are.

Friday, April 01, 2005

ugly dickling

My bad.

It's supposed to be ugly duckling but these fat fingers (no pun intended Fat Fingers!) of mine accidentally tapped on the "i" tab instead of the "u" tab since they are just next to each other on the keyboard.

I had wanted to continue the good story of myself the alpha female and wednesday's night-thursday's morning rendevous with Martell, King and Samosa.

But aint feeling that good after meeting Jenkins for dinner at Casaurina for prata.

I mean, how happy can one get after being called ugly?

It doesn't help that people around me are constantly telling me that I look slutty. Great. They just have no idea just how goody two shoes, pure and virginal I am.

Why should I let myself be affected by them insignificant fools?! No way, for I am Queen. Their words of jealousy are simply there to fuel my dispirited being. Not a chance I will allow, for them to spoil my day. I am Queen, I am beautifuk.

Judge me not, you low-downs nincompoops! Beware my wrath.

Yes, Jenkins, I know you are reading this. So go on and tell nice Mr Gay Boy JH to watch it. Don't let me see him. I may just beat him up into a pulp. And crush his fucking dick. That ugly DICKLING. My ass looks even better than his face!

God forbids, that if I am ugly, he would have been a hideous beast. Oh, let's not stoop so low to that level.

In any case, King messaged!!! It was not a reply but a message and that means he initiated the conversation! He's really one good thing to ever happen to me.

Now if only Martell was like that. Pigs will soar to the sky when that happens.

Ok, time for some positive input.

Have finally transferred most of the pictures on my 7610 to the desktop after Da Vader, the ex, has got me the Bluetooth USB Dongle from Hongkong from his friend. Hooray!

Have gotten my NTU/NUS application settled too. So now it just leaves getting the evil boss Hairy Pits to appraise me. Oh man, it's going to be one long day for me.