Friday, September 30, 2005

Watch me

All's left a broken shell, a blocked nose, puffy eyes, a hoarse voice, a trail of crusted reddish brown fluid on my thigh, resonance of your words to me reverberating through my head, my vodka empowered breath and lingering traces of smoke in my room.

The ducts are starting up, another stick, and another drink (Vokda neat is bleagh. I want Gin and Bitterlemon!) for I can't multi-task and all the above will be distracting enough to do me well to go easy on the tap.

Why do I feel like Mariah's spinning around me?

5 shots down. 8-10 more to merlioning.

i am praying for god to teach me to hate.

i haven't hated anyone since birth. i have my dislikes but hatred? i may turn up my nose at people but even dislikes are rare and few.

you can be the first.

you can be.

god, just let me hate him. it's easier to hate than to love.

1 shot is 30 ml. so 1 litre gives me uhm, 33.3333 shots. hmm, I have got another 28 shots more to go. but i am hungry since i last had food at 6 pm last night. and a little tipsy.

hatred is still on the agenda...

2 shots of Vodka... and counting.

Words that you had spoken to me were lies.

Why had I chosen to believe in them? Cos I had trusted in you.

Now I understood what you meant when you said you were speechless looking at me. Why do you have me find out this way? Was it that hard to tell me in the face? Didn't know what to say to me of you re-uniting with the ex? Or didn't have the guts to tell me the truth of what you said to me to wait for you was just a coax/hoax.

You could have just told me the truth earlier and spare me all that hurt now. And in any case, I would really have been happy for you as a friend. Truly sincerely happy for you.

But it's ok cos you don't know what I am going through. It's ok cos nothing matters to you other than her. Cos friendships are nothing in your eye. Cos I am not even a friend to you. Cos you just don't care.

Cos I am nothing.

And so's my handmade gift for you. It's ok, you won't treasure it anyway. It's going up in my little bonfire before I'll see it being dumped into the garbage truck.

And Happy 26th Hatch Day to you. Have your fill of fun in your romantic get-away with her. Enjoy yourself.

Working Woes

I've been in the F & B line for close to 2 years.

Of all the places I have worked so far, Coastes has been the only one I've fallen in love with times and times over again.

In the beginning when I was still waitressing there full-time (prior to commencement of my studies in NTU), life was simple, clocking in the number of required hours daily, knowing your products, waiting on happy families, watching couples frolic in the water, little kids playing innocently in the sand, admiring the beautiful sunsets and the starry nights.

Having the freedom to run all over freely on the beach, basking in the sun (sometimes overly hot to be enjoyable) and taking turns to rest made each smoke break a privilege treasured. Stolen moments chit chatting/bitching strengthened friendships.

Colleagues who were all fun, made even the chore-some of all chores enjoyable. From carrying heavy rotten sun-beds, to sieving sand in the sand bar, and even mundanities like wiping cutlery, washing ash trays could be a pleasure.

Then, slowly, the place, like a rotten core of an apple unveiled, didn't seem that beautiful anymore, as I begin to learn more and know more.

The politics that went on, the backstabbing that had happened and still happens, the mind-fucking games that some engage. I couldn't handle. Not now, not this.

The greatest transgression that I could have commit: Falling for the one called MV. I myself held no explanations. He's not that cute, truth to be told. He's not that humourous either. Nor is he particularly interesting. In fact, other than him fulfilling my height, age and intellectual requirements, there isn't really a cause for liking him beyond him as my colleague, him as my assistant manager.

But I did anyway. And the only redemption I could make to save my god-damned heart from more heart breaks is to move away fast.

The decision to quit Coastes stems from that one person, in wanting to dissociate my feelings from him. So I gave Sambuca Lover notice of my resignation. It has been close to 2 weeks since then and I have had a few colleagues texting me asking me regarding my decision. Many question if the primary reason was going over to O Bar, but no. That's not the case for me. Even before I quit Coastes, I already had a standing offer from O Bar. And the offer's still valid. I quit because of a man, a man who can't love me. That's all.

So when I asked Bin if I was placed on schedule for this week, Bin said no. My name's still there but everything else has been left blank. My natural reaction was to text Sambuca Lover asking if this was an indication that I could officially move on. And his reply came back saying, "Hi Miryclay, I really don't know what you want cos you have not gotten back to me regarding what you want. So I didn't put you up on roster."

What do I want? I want him to have fun working in Coastes. That's all I want. Which then led me to think to myself, "I love Coastes intangibly so much more for what it can give me than what he can or will ever do, so why am I giving up my friendships and a workplace I love all because of a man?

GJPS encouraged me on to think along that line but still, the hesitation. What if I never do get over him? I will still be emotionally hung up on him, which isn't something I can afford. I need to move on. And the out of sight, out of mind strategy's working to some effect.

I can't follow my heart since it's all in one jumbled mess. So advise me peeps. What should I do?

This the one photo that imprinted itself on my mind, wrenched my heart and scorched my soul.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I need more than an extreme makeover..

I need an extreme personality change.

I am grieving.

Grieving for my busted ankle. Grieving for my unchargable ibook battery, grieving for my studies, grieving for my work, and grieving for my life.

It appears that I may never ever get myself off the shelf before my expiry date sets in.

A third person just shot me down.

Bang. I'm dead.

Yet Another Conversation with J

J makes me laugh a lot. That's a good thing. I think he is the closest to what I can want in a guy. Well, other than him being shorter than my expected 1.75m and him being a cheena kia (which somehow all the guys I fall for are all like that anyway) and him not of my at least 3 years older than me requirement. But I don't like him. NOT now when still one one bugger is on my mind.

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:19:20 AM)

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:19:37 AM)
u need a man? i

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:19:53 AM)
i'm a man...i can be ur man

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:19:58 AM)

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:20:58 AM)
hahaha! i need a man to carry me to see the dr.. i twisted my ankle at chinablack last night when iwas there with the Coastes ppl

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:21:10 AM)
yes, so are you applying for it

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:21:42 AM)
nope...i dun need to apply...

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:22:02 AM)
i can go over n treat u...i'm a docter

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:22:16 AM)

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:22:22 AM)
ok, i am waiting

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:22:23 AM)
it wun heal until jan

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:22:28 AM)
damn it!!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:22:36 AM)
i want to go running one lei!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:28:01 AM)
go running?

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:28:09 AM)
i quit smokin!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:28:31 AM)
no cigarettes...they suck the shit out of u

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:28:41 AM)
healthy lifestyle

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:29:40 AM)
runnin. i wanna regain my 10min and below timing for 2.4!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:29:52 AM)
you quit already? WAH SEI!!!!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:30:00 AM)
you sure or not???

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:30:25 AM)
haha.. drinkiing is not exactly healthy either

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:33:11 AM)
i wanna run also loh...i'll go back to ntu track team n go asean univ games!!=P

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:33:46 AM)
join me!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:33:52 AM)
wah sei. ambitious man. train me up too. my stamina lagging behind like siao

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:34:19 AM)
i training now.. am cutting down on cigarettes already!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:34:53 AM)
ambitious? really..i think its easy...haha...tryin to hao lian...

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:36:57 AM)
i think go back to running better..sports pple usually get noticed and easier to get pick up

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:37:05 AM)
i know u are good j. blardy hell.

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:37:27 AM)
hahahahahhahaah!!!!!! are u saying i need sports to get picked up? WTF!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:37:54 AM)
i am so good i dont need to. wait, arent YOU trying to pick me up??? haha!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:39:38 AM)
wat do u think?u can go to bed without shower....i'm sure u are capable of more things that i'm not aware of...

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:39:58 AM)

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:40:11 AM)
TIRED lah!

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:40:24 AM)
but i bathe everyday!!! religiouslu

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:40:36 AM)

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:41:03 AM)
try me, i'll show you what capable stuff i am up to!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:41:26 AM)
try?try to pick u up?

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:46:35 AM)
hahaha! you know you are already picking me up so i dont have to bother with that last qns of yours.

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:47:44 AM)
well, i can always put u on the reserve list. if one day i ever run out of dates, you'll be the first i'll call....

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:51:56 AM)
i bet u will call me everyday

miryclay - i need a man says: (11:53:59 AM)
call you everyday? my phone bills are escalating fyi. haha, the calls made (if ever) wiill be declarations of joy from the many men queuing outside my dorm room

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (11:56:13 AM)
u have been busy calling pple isnt fone bill cheap...pple call me..

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (12:00:15 PM)
i gtg...bye...

miryclay - i need a man says: (12:01:31 PM)
hahha. lame but entertaining. bye j!

which is better?Waterfalls, Peak Ascent or Canyons says: (12:02:04 PM)
take me as a clown?!

miryclay - i need a man says: (12:02:32 PM)
yes. J the clown. have a good day!

Some kind soul help me please?!

Overnight, the pain has increased tenfold that it has gone beyond my threshold. And I am, one with a rather low tolerance for physical pain.

Fucketty Fuck.

I thought nothing of it last night, continuing to jump about even after the twisted ankle. I mean, I could still walk without a limp (yet) basically. So there I thought, "No harm done."

The idea of having to hobble my way to the school clinic to get the busted ankle checked and getting help for my can't-seem-to-charge-up ibook is appalling.

Now, what I really do need is a Man. A chivalrous GENTLEMAN to send me to the doctor and help me hobble around (carrying me will be even better, he can train up his biceps, triceps and what ever ceps). And to lend me his nice comfortable shoulders to whine of the swollen hurting ankle.

Happy 18th Hatch Day Didi!!!

Just got back to hall from Chinablack, where I was drinking with my colleagues from Coastes.

There was Didi himself, Binny Bin, CT, Famous Gross, Gothic Jap Porn Star, Kel and girlfriend, my outlet manager and his wife, MV, JFK, Sambuca Lover and Didi's assorted friends.

Was so dark, I fucking missed a step on the stairs, lost my footing, and twisted my ankle.

For 21 years of my life, even the times when I was running on slippery grounds at MacRitchie, despite the numerous times I've slipped on the wet tracks of SRJC, National/Serangoon/Bishan Stadiums and squishy terrain during my cross-country races (which are usually held during the rainy season), I have never once in my life, sprained my ankle. Never.

And whilst doing the most unimportant thing like climbing down the stairs to Chinablack dance floor, I embarrassingly fell and sprained my ankle and hurting like crap. Is it clumsy me or bad karma strikes?

It was so painful that momentarily, while waiting to get a drink at the bar, I couldn't grip on to my mobile, cigarettes and lighter, which went crashing down on the floor. GJPS and CT even thought I was drunk. I wasn't. I just couldn't open my eyes. And as they led me back to our seats at the VIP area, despite me opening my eyes as wide as I could, I saw nothing but a veil of darkness all around. Scared stiff.

Shoots. Now the ankle throbbing like a bitch in the behind. Sigh, will need to borrow ankle guard. My old ankle guard's at home.

p/s: The cabby uncle who drove CT and I back is really good! $20.85 for both Choa Chu Kang and NTU. And he even charged me 85 cents lesser! Goody uncle!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

He bangs!


My lard loaded fat ass can't beat my will power. Maybe cos I haven't got any of the latter to begin with.

Went out for a long overdue run after my fucked up lame boring meeting in Hall to de-stress for I will soon be load up with plenty of Hall activities, my marketing plan that is due in 2 weeks, and uhm, busy planning for an outside event and to top it off, study and work!!!

I ran a mere 20 minutes (much shorter than my usual 30-45 minutes long and fast paced run) and my wobbly fat ass felt like it was going to give way. I mean my wobbly jelly fat legs. The running must have made me incoherent.

I need a break. I want to go off to Bintan with my blogger friends this weekend!!! But I can't! Too much work to do and a pre-arranged trip to Sentosa on Saturday with Zhen (and hopefully Dell too. I MISS this woman!).

The meeting was dreary. Things got done but weary. It made me teary. The only thing that had kept me going was the prospect of seeing Elf (taking his cigarettes will be more apt) during the break but the sight of a girl amidst his mahjong kakis only cast a hue of flaming red on my face.

If I was an Amazonian Queen, I would spear the girl or cleave her somehow. What if play mahjong play until got feelings how? KNN.

And now GJPS is infatuated with Wil's roomie Wee. Haha. Wil and Wee. GJPS even suggested gang bang? Gang what? Bang what? I mistyped. It should go "Orgy"!

I hadn't smoked for 2 days over the weekend when I was ill. Even right now, I've cut down significantly. Now it would be great if I could just stop it entirely. I've been too used to going on autopilot mode with the ciggies. Baaadddd me.

Monday, September 26, 2005

To Ber the Nerd

Mummy just drove me back to Hall.

Since I've already missed the first two lessons, I might as well just take the day off and rest. Plus I really am not feeling too well.

Did I mention while she was helping me lug my many bags full of clothes (I brought them home to wash and oh my gosh, I miss the smell of my laundry washed by my home washing machine! A one and only acquired unique CLEAN smell!) back to my Hall room, she just mentioned that a guy like my primary school friend Ber (the very same one who's in the same course as I am and living in the same Hall) is the best for me!

Was that a joke mum? Cos Ber and I are as different as can get, other than the competitive streak in us (which I have conveniently lost mine after graduating from Cedar). The only common points between us are a shared history of kindergarten/primary school memories.

Kindergarten saw both of us being in a clique with two other kids, a boy nicknamed King Kong and this other girl whom I've forgotten. Somehow or another we got along. Me being the tomboy constantly not behaving like any other girls, and playing catching with the rest of the boys speaks a lot of being more a guy's girl than a girl's girl. Being class monitress from that age meant I was naturally the teacher's pet and the only way I could convince kids my age I was a good leader then was to score in my tests and spellings and art and just about everything. Of course with smart hardworking Ber in my group, spurred me on to study! In most aspects, Ber and I were on par, from subjects like English, Chinese and Mathematics, and even running (since the physical advantage of a male is over a girl is not as obvious at such a young age) but there were clearly two things I definitely won him hands down... Art and Craft and Music! He was not made to be creative.

I went on to primary school, wondering where this childhood friend of mine has gone to. And lo and behold, he was in the same school as I was! And my elder brother (of 2 years) happened to be his buddy (unknowingly)! Talk about Singapore being small! VERY small indeed! But this discovery of attending the same school and all was only made in primary 3 when we were in the top class together cos prior to that, our first 2 years of primary school life were spent 2 classrooms apart (him in 1E/2E and me in 1H/2H) and there we re-bonded and competed over recess games of hopscotch, police and thief, marble, frog catching, school bus card games and ji gu ba (a kind of fist game), etc and our studies naturally. And throughout the next 4 years which we would to spend together, one particular subject became our pet challenge. Our English essays. Both of us frequently take turns to top the compositions in class (and school as well) with my highest once scoring 38 out of 40 and him 38.5 out of 40! Grrr. The bad is he wins for Chinese, I do for Maths (only cos I am less careless) and him again in Science. (I never do like Science anyway).

Of course, he out-ran me in short sprints by primary 5, however I fared better in our 1.6km napfa tests. Then again I was the fastest girl and 3rd or 4th fastest kid in my age group for 4 years consecutive.

We parted ways in secondary school when he being the smart ass he was, went on to Chinese High. That Ber will always be a nerd. The beauty of friendships is the resilience. And boy I'm glad mine survive somehow even despite the missing years.

A toast to my oldest friend, Ber, of 16 years. And to his Econs tutorials that I borrowed. Chuckles. And to his girlfriend. Fortunate woman, Ber's really easy to bully.

Meena me

Am still suffering from residual pains of my menstrual cramps.

The past 2 days went by in a blur.

Perhaps cos I spent one and a half of them, confined to bed, being claimed under by the death-like sleep after having popped 6 panadols in a matter of 4 hours.

I wonder if the weird dream I had of being raped by my ex-boyfriend was a reflection of my fear for sex, the jitters of meeting up with the ex-boyfriend or simply the succumb to the dregs of the fever.


This lackluster body of mine is giving up on me like my brain is! Elf (the cute lab mate and hall king) had asked me to drop by the fashion tv beach party at Sentosa Siloso Beach on Saturday after work, but ravaged and bound by fever, I managed no further than my house toilet! Argh! It's like the rarest of the rarest dates I've got in a billion centuries and there my body had to do this to me!!! I am so DU LAN!!! There won't be another golden opportunity such as this!!! He may not be some rich man's kid but he is cute! KNN. I can't lose out to Bittercoffee in grabbing myself a potential shag partner!!!

Finally had my belated birthday dinner with my family, at some chinese restaurant at some safra country club.

Of all the dishes, my favourite would have to be the venison meat.

Then the prawns,

next the fish,

then the shark's fins,

next the chicken.

And lastly the mushroom sea cucumber veggy thingy they served up.

2 family photos later, I am beginning to suspect I was picked up from the garbage bin, for I am, in no way, of much resemblance to any of my family, especially not with my "meena" looks.

The beauty of Hall

Remind me NEVER EVER to return home again, maybe till I am half dead or say in dire straits.

I wasn't under the influence of drugs (or was I?) when I spoke of how much I missed home. Oh I do miss home terribly, i.e. bed, sofa, television, fridge, mum's cooking. But not the cranky erratic family members. Not my grouchy dad, nor my sensitive sister, nor my fuss-maniac mother.

Oh bugger the lot of them.

I went out on Friday night-Saturday morning (before the menstrual cramps hit me real bad) to meet Bittercoffee my brother, at his place. Had 4/5 of a Nalgene bottle full of Gin and Bitterlemon (courtesy of him), that's about 800ml that I drank! Not too sure how many shots I poured in but was easily 4 shots there. So, in the cold of the night, we talked, we laughed, till the wee of the morning.

"This just goes to show how long we haven't talked."

Yes brother, I know.

Haven't I come meet you at the first chance possible?

Then we went for breakfast at Prata House at Thomson (How I missed my favourite paper prata and ice milo there! Even the Indian waiter there recognised me! Haha!), courtesy of bro again (thank you!), bought my copy of Maxim from 7-11, only to be disappointed by the skills of the photographer. He really did not do the girls justice with his skills. I've seen Wendy once in real life before, and she looked better than the auntie photo he shot of her. Even the photos that she took of herself look better. Sandralicious too.

Just compare this (also sent to me by Sandra), taken by Jacque Chong, as featured in Maxim,

And this, that Sandra sent me.

Sorry I meant this other one.

What a load of difference ain't it?

Back to myself. As I walked back from the bus-stop, I snapped photos of the familiar visuals that I have not seen for a long time.

The early sun peeking out from behind RJC, resembled a soaring phoenix.

The road along the Marymount flyover.

The familar path I often jogged along with the scary trees flanking its side.

The ugly green side gate to the estate.

The slope down towards the tennis court.

There was a cute tennis teacher who's there every tuesday. I wonder if he's still around.

The mama shop at my estate, run by two sisters. One of them is a super nice auntie, who let me run a tab once when I didn't have enough cash on me. Tells me how much my sister resemble me and how I've grown prettier. Awww.

The clubhouse, and friendly security guard who smokes and chit chats with many of the neighbours around.

The road I've walked for the past 11 years. The crooked tree wasn't that crooked 11 years ago.

Waiting for the lift.

And that means, 20 seconds or less away from home sweet home.

Friday, September 23, 2005

The Unexpected Jaw Dropping!

Sandralicious just let me on into something really personal of her life (which of course I am not at privy to disclose). And there my mouth gaped wide open, eyes bulging in astonishment! It wasn't that the news came as unbelievable, just the style of delivery caught me there.

In any case, it's not something exactly for her (or for me as a friend) to be happy about, more a cause for lamentations. Oh well, chin up babe! You can SOOO date me! After all, I've been dateless for more than a YEAR!!! Cheesebuns.

In short, my time at Walas was just swell.
1) Listening to The UnXpected,

2) catching up with Airhole (whom I haven't seen since the last time we ate chicken rice at Chin Chin with Biatch Jane Doe), Makan Guru, Mandrake, One Little Twit, Sandralicious and of course not forgetting Joel. Got to befriend some new barflies like Nadnut and Duckhawk.
3) and drinking my beer.

Oh yes yes, before I forget, grab a copy of Maxim and see some of the hot blogger babes on print (including Sandralicious). You can decide for yourselves if they are Hot or Not. Sizzling factor: Aplenty.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

News live from Walas

Sandralicious goes COMMANDO! Woo hoo! A very horny thought just ran through my mind... And you guys won't want to know! The UnXpected's fantastic with their rendition of Wonderful tonight! And now our topic's on where's the best place to have sex? What's your take?

News live from Walas

Sandralicious goes COMMANDO! Woo hoo! A very horny thought just ran through my mind... And you guys won't want to know! The UnXpected's fantastic with their rendition of Wonderful tonight! And now our topic's on where's the best place to have sex? What's your take?

My Foray Into Nightlife

Just got back home from work at O Bar.

I won't ever complain of closing taking too long at Coastes any longer cos today I sure waited freaking long just to board the transport.

Nothing to do with transport but more of waiting for roll call, waiting for the staff at Dbl O to finish up. Had a drink of Screwdriver whilst waiting. Went with Batman (the floor captain) to 7-11 and bought my favourite Snickers.

And it was a good 1.5 hours before I finally got my ass up on the vehicle.

Thank goodness the west transport had only 6 of us and out of whom, 1 lives in Jurong West Street 52, the other 2 at Jurong West Street don't know what but both about 3 minutes drive away from NTU. CT's sister Fad was on transport too! Haha and as usual, after me.

Doing floor at O Bar is relatively easy I would say, as compared to Coastes. There's only bar snacks to take note of which only entails 7 items, and drinks wise, most people order the standard housepours so not that much of a challenge there. Even clearing of glasses and delivery of drinks are quite of an ease. I guess partly cos it was Ladies' Night so the women are mostly queuing up for their own drinks. No sweltering under the hot sun though meandering throught the throngs of gyrating bodies can be a turn off. Got molested many times over. Oh well. That's part of the job.


I STILL LOVE COASTES. Nothing beats the sand, the sun and the sea in Coastes. I'm still after all a person who loves being close to Nature and being stuck in a small enclosed area really does feel very restricted. I'm not exactly claustrophobic but I was quite overwhelmed by the pathetic amount of space to move around. Plus, Coastes is so much more "clean-cut" in comparison, almost zero disgusting desperados trying to get girls drunk (I served this old fat ang moh who was having a go at getting laid with this quite gorgeous young lady) and lesser horny making out couples.

The only good thing out of this, is, I know now, if I ever do need a part-time job, O bar's offering me one.

P/s: Screw the idiot who burnt my right hand with his cigarette and to those who touched my beautiful ass.

Damn I can't sleep. Have got a test to mug for. ARGH.

Pp/s: I'm officially the Biz Manager for Hall 5 HAVOC Freshmen Orientation Camp '06! Yay! :)

Ppp/s: Last one definitely, took photos of myself in O Bar uniform as memory.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


I wonder how the news spread so fast.

No secrets in EHG.


Had thought I would need to keep this shush shush but oh well, no point hiding when the rest is bound to find out sooner or later.

Anyway, I have gotta rush from Havoc Hall 5 Freshmen Orientation Camp meeting to O Bar for work.


I'll need to cab down. I hope the passing down ceremony will be over and done with ASAP. BLOODY HELL.

Only reason for working today despite my test tomorrow is the experience.

Now, black top check, black pants check, black shoes check (er with pink stripes can jade?), now black socks (where in the world am i supposed to find them from? i haven't worn socks in ages since shifting into hall!!!)?

From past experience, clubbing with perfume usually doesn't make me the nicest smelling person when it's a combination of perspiration, smoke and eh perfume. ALRIGHT no perfume for today! I can always stick to using Clinique Happy for Men! HAHA!

Happy Belated 21st Birthday Cow!

Yesterday was my girlfriend's birthday. Another secondary school friend of mine whom I've known for 8 years.

I do agree that secondary school friends really do stick around for a looong time.

Marycherry, cowjinx, sunshine are the few who have stuck since secondary 1 and though we haven't been entirely close through some years but yes, generally, friends for life!!!

So cheesy.

I am trying to track all my friends down, my Zhonghua classmates (found some!), my Cedar classmates/track mates, my Sajc classmates and my Temasek Poly mates, those whom I've lost touch with through my "invisible-ns" years and while I was too busy with the ex to make the effort towards my friends.

Thank God for Friendster.

So if you were from Zhonghua Primary graduating class of 1996 class 6A, Cedar Girls Secondary class 1/2, 2M, 3I or 4I from 1997-2000, Sajc 01S91 between 2001 and 2002, Temasek Poly Design Visual Communications Year 1 in 2003, please please please add drop me an email at, add me to friendster at or add me on msn at

I am searching for my lost years. Thank you!

Ok, enough of my talk, back to Cowjinx's birthday celebration. We got her a bohemian black top, belt, and purple skirt! And two of these items were chosen by her personally without her realising that they were actually meant for herself! I paid for them on the pretense of getting for myself and when she wanted to get the skirt, I told her not to be a COPYCAT whilst I lied to her about how ugly the black top was to dissuade her from getting it while I slipped away to buy for her!

She's happy. I mean just look at the pictures. Haha.

The Meaty Frank'tato the girls ordered. Value for money! The filling is very flavoured, enhances taste of the otherwise bland potato! Satisfaction Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

My choice of Cheddar Chez'tato! At $0.30 cheaper than the first one, this $3.50 potato really only has a slice of cheddar cheese melted over it. But you can hardly taste the cheese! Growls! I added a lot of worcestire sauce, salt and pepper for it to be eaten with delight. Satisfaction Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

I had bought 2 slices of cheesecakes for Cowjinx but she had only wanted one and told me to bring home the other. Well, so we've devoured the Just Cheese cake while I brought this back to hall.. The Oreo Cheese cake!

Sunshine and Cowjinx ready to feast on the potatoes! I love them so much!

And the final shot of Cowjinx with her Corona and her cake!

The most coincidental part about this friendship is all 3 of us are September babies! I couldn't possibly post up more photos since the rest has my face in them.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Food is a neccessity.

Doesn't matter if it tastes really crappy.

This was dinner, given by my big brother.

Having eaten a piece of the 3 slices. Beggars can't be choosers.

What's remaining. Once you've tried Coastes pizzas, you would never want another slice of these cheap filth Pizza Hut and Canadian 2-4-1 Pizza sells. The thick awful crust, the pathetic lining of mozarella cheese. Bleagh.

If you look closely enough, you'll realize what I've been eating the entire day. 9 slices of Bonjour Chocolate Bread and 5 packets of Mamee. Anyway, isn't my bed sheet cute with those orange/yellow lions, red/blue elephants and white/black zebras?

Any job offers?

I've messaged Sambuca Lover to quit Coastes.

"It's not the phone, it's him."

And I guess it's gonna be official.

I am sad to leave this fun work place. Sad to leave the great friends I've made in the short wonderful 4 months and 9 days I've been there. Sad to leave behind this place I love. Sad that I am leaving and not with the best memories.

But as Mandrake puts it, at least now I can enter Ice Cold Beer with them (the bloggers) and drink.

Any bistro, bar, club, cafe want to hire me? I have got almost 2 years of experience in FnB and am a quick learner. I am independent, fast and a hard worker. I adapt easily, is flexible, possess leadership qualities, think smart...

Why do I feel like I am whoring myself?

Geez. I need a job.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dissected by Technology

I got these tests from natsu

The first one interprets your name. I tried my real full name (censored as below) and the two nicks I used more often.

You entered: *** ** **** ******
There are 15 letters in your name.
Those 15 letters total to 66
There are 8 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 3
The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.
The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.
The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.
Your Soul Urge number is: 1
A Soul Urge number of 1 means: 
Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.
The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.
The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.
Your Inner Dream number is: 3
An Inner Dream number of 3 means: 
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

You entered: miryclay
There are 8 letters in your name.
Those 8 letters total to 43
There are 2 vowels and 6 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 7
The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.
The expression or destiny for #7:
Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.
If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.
Your Soul Urge number is: 2
A Soul Urge number of 2 means: 
With the Soul Urge number 2, your motivation is centered on friendships, partnerships, and companionship. You want to work with others as a part of a cooperative team. Leadership is not important to you, but making a contribution to the team effort is. You are willing to work hard to achieve a harmonious environment with sensitive, genial people.
In a positive sense, the 2 Soul Urge is sympathetic, extremely concerned and devoted. The nature tends to be very sensitive to others, always tactful and diplomatic. This element in your nature indicates that you are rather emotional. You are persuasive, but in a very quiet way, never forceful. You are the type that makes really close friendships because you are so affectionate and loving.
If this number is over-emphasized in your makeup, you may be over-sensitive, with a delicate ego that is too easily hurt. You may be timid or fearful, too easygoing for your own good.
Your Inner Dream number is: 6
An Inner Dream number of 6 means: 
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

You entered: freemanhaven
There are 12 letters in your name.
Those 12 letters total to 58
There are 5 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 4
The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.
The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.
The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.
If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.
Your Soul Urge number is: 8
A Soul Urge number of 8 means: 
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flare for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.
Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.
The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.
Your Inner Dream number is: 5
An Inner Dream number of 5 means: 
You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.

The part using my real name is 95% accurate, that of my nicknames see bits of accuracy.

The second test reveals on how bad my love life is. FUCK.

You entered: 9/6/1984
Your date of conception was on or about 15 December 1983.
You were born on a Thursday
under the astrological sign Virgo.
Your Life path number is 1.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445949.5.
The golden number for 1984 is 9.
The epact number for 1984 is 27.
The year 1984 was a leap year.

As of 9/19/2005 6:34:15 AM CDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 252 months old.
You are 1,098 weeks old.
You are 7,683 days old.
You are 184,398 hours old.
You are 11,063,914 minutes old.
You are 663,834,855 seconds old.

There are 352 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles on it.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTU's,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.  
In 1984 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1984 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1984 in the US there were 2,487,000 marriages (10.5%) and 1,155,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1984 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)

Your birthstone is Sapphire 
The Mystical properties of Sapphire
Though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Sapphire is used for clear thinking.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Agate, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli

Your birth tree is
Weeping Willow, the Melancholy
Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

There are 97 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.

you win i lose i quit

I wonder between the two of us, who is much more childish and impetuous.

I had naturally thought it would be me, for I am the younger one, the impulsive one, the rashness in me, I am certain my girls can testify to.

But it was only reading a certain blog entry (which I am not going to link up to, cos I am not rude), in which I detect that tiniest hint of sarcasm in his written words, and hell of a caustic remarks directed at me during work, that I think otherwise?

You were supposed to be more mature than I am!

Unless I have misintepreted your comments and insinuation in your entry wrongly.

Pardon me but the cold and hot one didn't seem to be me. Mine's an acquired taste of sweet, sour, spicy, salty and bitter.

And that I have failed to appreciate your scathing jokes to me in good humour.

Me a champion for taking initiative to help the bigger boss carry as many bottles of juices as I can into the office to save him the trouble of carrying them in? Next time, I'll leave them to do it themselves. And say, I can save on my own energy and your needless comment.

Consulting you on arrangements of tables for 17 guests since the the other one whom I could ask was busy helping the kitchen staff, the floor captain not around, the more experienced senior is busy and you the nearest living being. So, let them sit in their scattered groups? Sure thang AM. Whatever you say.

Don't blame me the next time the bigger boss comes around and I don't give a flying fuck about them not securing a table. There isn't any damn standard code of conduct anyway riiight?

Do you speak like that to the rest of your staff may I ask? Where was the partial man I thought was you I had known, to separate personal from work?

Does it make you feel good to know that whatever you are seeking to do, to hurt me, to vent your pent up frustration/hostility urges is working?

Would it have added to your score of successes to see me cry? Well, chalk it up on your tally then, cos you have just hit bull's-eye.


It's my God-given right as a woman.

"Blog and rant girl", wise words from GJPS.

I may potentially get fucked for typing all these but its my blog. Read not then if you care not for my words. And piss off if you like not what I write. Fuck me and I'll pay you back in kind. Mind you.

Nothing eventful other than the frustrating ordeal I had with a certain agent.

It's my bad for having commit crime one of placing my mobile and cigarettes at the cashier point despite just being reminded the night before not to do so ANYMORE! An even grievous crime is forgetting to switch to silent mode before commencing work.

What ill fortune it was for me to have my phone ring and one of the agents (whoever it was) noticing my phone in the process. If not, I would have been quite sure that my "deep deep low low" hiding place would have been missed.

It's no big deal having my mobile confiscated at a grand age of 21 and by one of my agents nonetheless.

Really no big deal discounting the measurable increase in sulking, the moping around (that largely due to the lack of customers in addition to having a colleague who pounces on whatever customer in sight at our station and even beyond) and the near constant spew of expletives.

Anyway, Agent X said he had no idea about my mobile being held in ransom. I trusted him. Agent Y knew and lectured me once but was not sure as to who held possession over it. Agent Z, oh just forget it. Not intending to speak to him anymore given his attitude towards me since yesterday.

So who took the phone?

Not important as long as I get it back at the end of the day.

Before I left, I went and asked Agent Y again since it seemed like he was the only one who had a vague idea about its whereabout. There in the office, he launched into another lecture (which is really fine by me since it's my fault). How timely it was to have Agent Z enter the office and do whatever he was doing at the computer. Agent Y concluded the kind and gentle reprimand with a "I don't know where it is".

Sorry but WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ok, I've apologised and I'm not gonna do it ever again. So can I just have my phone back?

Do I have to go down on my knees and beg Agent Z for it? He obviously (very naturally) would have heard the conversation that transpired between Agent Y and I, yet sat there, reaction-less. That was crime number three of the day: being stubborn. Fine, don't return then too bad. It's not like I will die without my phone. People just won't be able to contact me that's all. I hardly text peopl these days anyway unless necessary or to return their messages. At most, I'll just return home, tell my parents about it and borrow my mummy's phone/sim card since my hi-card is flat on value and my old mobile is with GJPS.

Why should I stay to feel humiliated (or be humiliated)? My backbone is working very well for your information. I will not grovel at others' feet just to get my belonging back.

Changed up and left with Ame and GJPS. It was when we were about to board the bus to leave the island that Leo called Ame telling me to return to the outlet to get my mobile.

Hello? WTF?!?!?!?!?! Time is a precious commodity which I can better spent it on studying, blogging or whatever. Not wasting my time travelling to and fro for no good reason.

Control. Peace. Inhale. Exhale.

GJPS accompanied me back (thank you very very much baby), grabbed ourselves some croissants from delifrance (It's very cheap at $5 for a seafood mayo, egg mayo and tuna mayo since it's the end of the week and they've got to clear the pastries. Come to think of it, it is nearly 70% discount! Cheap Cheap! Now I know what I grab for dinner every Sunday after work.), and headed back.

Once there, Agent X asked me why I had not looked for him to retrieve my phone. My reasoning simply being that I trusted his words when he said he had no idea about the phone. So now who's the baddie? Not them? ME? Oh yes. Me again.

He then ticked me off for being rude (the way I stared daggers or attempted to stare daggers and the tone I spoke in) and for asking Agent Y and not him or Agent Z about it. You mean Agent Z's ears are malfunctioning? It's not like he doesn't know about my asking. I am not so daft as to wait for yet another sarcastic remark to come my way.

I know I sound spiteful, I sound childish but surely, I have got the right to be frustrated over it. All I had wanted to do was to get the phone and go straight home to study. I wasted a good 1.5 hours over this shit.

It was without much deduction, that Agent Z took and kept the goods.

I'm tired of his mindless remarks (a reflection of his attitude) that I am undeserving of (which he thinks otherwise). Does he seek to bring me down, make me feel small and unworthy or just plain vengeful for me ignoring him in the first place?

Whatever. Bah.

The possibly one and only cause for rejoice at work was Bartender Chow doing up something really sweet and yummy for me. What great satisfaction I get slurping it down.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Hurting all over

I am so accident prone.

Yesterday, in a haste, to retrieve my phone, I hit my shin against this short stool and one big "baluku".

Today was no exception at work. Worst was having this really big caucasian guest (who didn't notice me walking behind him) moving backwards into me and his arm jabbed my boobs.

Ouch. Wince. Ouch.

Fingers got cut washing ash trays and holding onto too many carlsberg bottles at one time.

My heart is bruised too.


I had wanted to retort something rude back to The Boy when he made such a GRR remark to me. Poo. Bit my tongue and offered back a "So now I am a champion" statement instead.

So there, I thought the "Caring Heart" pastry I got for him would have been some peace tribute/truce offering to him but sadly, the war is still raging.

I'll let this pass.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

for the boy

feels kinda weird typing on the ibook skin keyboard protector but well that's a necessity for person with grubby fingers like me not wanting to dirty the ibook and having to constantly wipe it.

anyway, this entry, as the title suggests is for him.

hall vs home

freedom. hall 1 home 0.

too much freedom. hall 0 hall 1.

tv. hall 0 home 1.

food. hall 0 home 1.

laundry. hall 0 home 1.

accessibility. hall 0 home 1.

i miss mummy's cooking, her soup, her washing my clothes for me, my fridge and the always available chocolates, fruits and meiji yogurt, my tv set, my favourite sofa seat that i always fall asleep in...


Friday, September 16, 2005

my lovely wife

back when i was in cedar, i have a harem of girls whom i call my own.

i can't remember the countless number of mistresses i have but i vividly still recall having two wives.

i am the lao-gong and they my lao-pos.

and this lovely babe here who has evolved from her heydays, is one of them.

she's cowjinx by the way.

love it when she smiles, her eyes twinkling up, her two dimples flashing at me and my heart melts. of cos her C cup boobs are quite a handful too. and me being such a boobs person like Mandrake, is no stranger to the beauty of lovely (big) breasts.

haha. anyway, i'm happy for her and her french baguette she has gotten. he looks quite a darling.

met up with her and sunshine at timbre just now to celebrate sunshine's 21st birthday. opened a bottle of redwine. but bleagh, their redwine sucks. and i am no fan of red wine. poo.

my lovely wife

back when i was in cedar, i have a harem of girls whom i call my own.

i can't remember the countless number of mistresses i have but i vividly still recall having two wives.

i am the lao-gong and they my lao-pos.

and this lovely babe here who has evolved from her heydays, is one of them.

she's cowjinx by the way.

love it when she smiles, her eyes twinkling up, her two dimples flashing at me and my heart melts. of cos her C cup boobs are quite a handful too. and me being such a boobs person like Mandrake, is no stranger to the beauty of lovely (big) breasts.

haha. anyway, i'm happy for her and her french baguette she has gotten. he looks quite a darling.

met up with her and sunshine at timbre just now to celebrate sunshine's 21st birthday. opened a bottle of redwine. but bleagh, their redwine sucks. and i am no fan of red wine. poo.

I hate studying..

But I have got to.

I am off to study. SUCKS.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

another one of those conversation with J

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:47:11 PM)
u there?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:24 PM)
yes yes yes!

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:27 PM)
whats up

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:34 PM)
what have you won j?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:47:35 PM)
can do me a favour?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:40 PM)
what favour?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:49 PM)
go out with jazz?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:55 PM)
or go visit ur parents?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:47:56 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:48:34 PM)
check for me,how for me if colin got transfer my pay to my acct

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:48:50 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:48:50 PM)
you can't check over there?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:48:56 PM)
how you want me to check it out?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:48:58 PM)
oh ask?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:49:02 PM)
eh//yah hor

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:49:07 PM)
wait wait...i check

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:49:08 PM)
but surely you can check ur posb online?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:49:10 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:49:23 PM)
there's always internet banking.

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:49:47 PM)
let me know if there isnt', i'll go bug colin abt it then

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:50:53 PM)
damn!!!i forgot my pwd...i try too many times...they block my ibankin!!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:50:57 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:51:06 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:51:08 PM)
oh no!

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:51:11 PM)
so screwed..

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:51:14 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:51:27 PM)
hey....dun ask him first...

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:51:34 PM)
that one need u to go down to bank to get a new pin?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:51:36 PM)
i check first/...

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:51:44 PM)
i think so ...

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:52:06 PM)
oh my, do they have POSB in america? HAHA!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:54:21 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:54:57 PM)
hahahaha... im not a bitch you ass! im just being practical to remind you if you need help from over my side

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:56:46 PM)
haha...u think i'll give u my acct num meh?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:56:58 PM)
wah lau like that say

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:57:04 PM)
like i will steal ur money

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:57:08 PM)
you grub!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:57:09 PM)
now internet purchase very easy liao....danger...gers like shoppin..

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:57:18 PM)
i no $$ for u to steal

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:57:21 PM)
i can jolly well use my own card!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:57:35 PM)
hey...i juz kiddin lah

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:57:39 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:57:53 PM)
yar, if need me help u let me know

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:58:10 PM)
i trust u more than myself loh

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:58:21 PM)
haha...i;m such an ass

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:58:30 PM)
omg...wat i tokin///

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:58:51 PM)
i need to go bac home liao...i stlll in lib...its 11pm liao...

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:58:54 PM)
huh? hahah.. drunk already?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:59:03 PM)
here very dark i scared to walk home alone

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:59:09 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:59:10 PM)
so late somemore...

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:59:15 PM)
like anyone will rape you

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (1:59:23 PM)
and you can outrun them anyway

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (1:59:48 PM)
how i wish someone will come rape me...i happily let her rape loh

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:00:07 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:00:25 PM)
yeah a big fat american mama ass comes raping you or a big black gay man?>

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:00:30 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:00:47 PM)
hey...i really gotta go...tok to u tmr bah,....hungry again..

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:00:49 PM)
anyways, talk to u again.. eh, you that side no phone no nothig ar?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:01:04 PM)
got...u wan call me ah?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:01:06 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:01:11 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:01:19 PM)
real number is it?

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:01:25 PM)
whats the country code?

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:01:32 PM)
warnin!! damn ex....that's my mobile num

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:01:44 PM)
all included inside

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:01:54 PM)
ok lah. i'll be a sweet girl. i'll not call u. i'll msg!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:02:15 PM)
hey...overseas msg oso not cheap

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:02:29 PM)
yes its 50 ceents per msg for me!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:02:47 PM)
i msg u even better $$...hehe....

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:02:58 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:03:01 PM)
cheapskate bugger!

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:03:08 PM)
alright alright! you better get going!

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:03:11 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:03:14 PM)
if u miss me too badly,i dun mind receivin some msgs

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:03:29 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:03:40 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:03:45 PM)
wahaha...someone shy liao

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:03:47 PM)
yes i miss you evil nut!

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:04:52 PM)
y...i saw u type something...but u deleted it....nvm....i understand how u feel jiu hao le....

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:04:59 PM)

confidence....i won..HAHAHAHA!!!*EVIL LAUGHTER* says: (2:05:00 PM)

miryclay - happy 21st birthday sunshine! says: (2:05:03 PM)
nites j

j makes me laugh with his idiocy. fancy wanting to be raped willingly? only this fella is capable of that. lol.

photos of my future husband

i don't usually post photos of myself or anyone close.

but this, i can't resist.

with permission from dr b, check this cutie out. he's gonna grow up to be a charmer.

dr b's 5 year old boy ril whom i am engaged to. him in school.

ril at lantern festival.

and dr b's middle child, fel.

last but not least, dr b's youngest kid.

pose #1.

pose #2.


i am so pissed i can literally just strangle that drunk girl.

what's with constantly getting drunk when i am not around with you? each time, i get calls from different groups of people asking me for xxx's contact number or a call from you telling me you are drunk!

i am pissed cos i care (not just because i get woken up from my sleep)!!!

i worry for you girl! you know i simply just don't trust anyone to take care of you anymore. especially not guys!!!

how many times have i told you not to get so dead drunk? countless.

yes, you are entitled to doing crazy things in the name of fun in your youth but not at the expense of wasting your life away or letting stupid horny men get their way with you and your body!

GROWLS!!! you watch it, i'm gonna ban you from clubbing for a whole month!

and no amount of pleading will help!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


i am clueless as to how many people actually reads my blog.

but i am guessing i reach quite a fair number of people.

there, i am sorry i linked up to boy's blog without his consent. now that i've checked back, he has taken that particular entry off his blog.


i'm always doing things on impulse. shoot me.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

sentosa beach bars

now at km8 using their wireless.

their food is expensive yet lousy.

gjps' spaghetti carbonara is bland and not very creamy. my fish and chips but ordinary.

was at sunset bay earlier studying and using their wireless as well. sunset's frozen mango daiquiri is bleagh. the ones at where i work at (coastes) are sooo much better.

gjps suspects that timmy likes me. my gosh. no way. i treat him like a big brother (he is being 11 years older than i am!).

and he knows i like mv. who doesn't know? in addition i have been whining to timmy about mv getting under my skin.

i still love my boy.

agenda number 1999

Friday, September 09, 2005

self medicate

i've been sick the entire day. and slept the day away, so if i haven't reply any of your texts or msn messages or answer your calls, please do pardon me.

the combination of fever, flu and headache has knocked me out even without medication. unfortunately, the sleep hasn't really help to get rid of the ailments.

temporary relief, i need.

too weak to leave my room to get water, or to anywhere else for food and yes, most importantly, parcetomol.

there's no need to trouble people, but just this once, i wish i am taken care of instead. wish there's someone to stay the night with me.

even typing this entry had taken me much of my willpower. the head is pounding. the stomach is growling. the nose is dripping. the body shivering and the roomie's alarm clock is ringing incessantly. wtf.

waste current dragging body legs and all out of bed, and stumble to her clock to turn the damn thing off.

i could just roll over had i been rounder.

wtf, her clock is ringing again, argh.

can't a sick girl just get her rest?

Thursday, September 08, 2005


emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:36:01 AM)
any chio bu? 

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:36:03 AM)

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:36:42 AM)
haha/ chiobu drunk lah! she puked somemore/ damn i not chio enough huh???? your there side got cute tall handsome guy?????

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:36:55 AM)
my rommie

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:37:16 AM)
your roomie only? CHEY! no tall cute handsome and rich guy?

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:37:27 AM)
my roomie

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:37:37 AM)
so he tall cute handsome and rich?

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:37:40 AM)
got car?

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:37:43 AM)

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:37:56 AM)
got helicopter one

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:38:15 AM)
hahahahahhaha... helicopter toy model right?

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:38:33 AM)
i not rich la. but quite handsome and cute wad

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:38:39 AM)
wah lau. ur there side still got beer. i very sick of vodka...

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:38:39 AM)
can do la

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:39:06 AM)
hahahaha... you so buay hiao bai! like that i also can say i hot sexy and chio!

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:39:08 AM)
left one can of beer some bailies and kuala

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:39:18 AM)
but i'm the hall king

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:39:20 AM)
wah lau! your place is a den

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:39:51 AM)
hall king big deal. my friend say i will get hall queen if i had gone for it.

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:40:00 AM)
hahahahahah smug ass!

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:40:00 AM)
ur hall chui ma

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:40:17 AM)
eh hall chui doesnt mean i chui ok

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:40:26 AM)
btw that was my roomie typing..

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:40:29 AM)

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:41:03 AM)
my brother was from srjc and 1st guards as well

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:41:07 AM)
what a small small world

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:41:17 AM)

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:41:20 AM)
how old?

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:41:38 AM)
my bro's 2 years older than us

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:41:41 AM)

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:41:44 AM)
so i dont u'll know him

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:41:53 AM)
anyway, i wanna sleep now

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:41:58 AM)
alright pig!

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:42:01 AM)
cant take it alr.

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:42:02 AM)
sleep well

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:42:04 AM)

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:42:07 AM)
2 nights in a row lei

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:42:13 AM)
you damn hard core!!!

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:42:13 AM)

miryclay - first two guys, says: (7:42:18 AM)

emos- I'LL TAKE U TO THE G-MAX!******** says: (7:42:22 AM)

this is elf. my love! hehe. but seriously, he is quite handsome, quite cute and quite hot. fuck, and i am so not hot, sexy and chio and so not hall queen material. good griefs. but god, please don't let him find any girlfriend other than me. or at least the girl must be waaayyy prettier! what are the stakes?

1) he messaged me when I didn't show up for lab. i went 40 minutes late. haha.
2) he finished his lab work earlier and specially said bye to me. whee!
3) he is always scolding me for not studying and being a damn slacker. but like he is not.
4) he says things that make my heart melt. wait, his hall king looks can already melt me from the fucked up misery i have with mv. not to mention his nerd specs when he takes off his contacts. i love nerd specs cos i've got 2 of them myself!
5) ok lah, he is quite the everything i will want except his age. damn,

he's still very much a scorer. GOAL!

bittercoffee is so gonna call me a slut. chuckles.

i don't want to be lonely no more



Two guys limbs entwined on my bed, one perspiring onto my pillow, the other spooned by the sweaty one.

Two lovelorn souls (guy and girl lah) sitting by the bed, hands enclasped.

And me. SOLO.

So extra. So very extra. And no one online, and stupid Elf playing mahjong!!!

Walked out to smoke, so as not to disturb the love-stricken pair.

Now, the guys have left, myself sitting uncomfortably on the floor using my ibook, and the love-stricken pair on the bed asleep. How sweet.


First GJPS spilt the glass of vodka raspberri ribena on the floor. Use roomie's mat. Then floor wet wet, use coastes pants to wipe. Then puke, use coastes pants. And my god, I'm so gonna get bad karma for stealing roomie's mamee and ribena (which I've gotten them replaced). I'm so slutted. Sheesh.

Heck the lectures later at 1030. Thank god the tutorials are in the afternoon.

Shall go sleep. Yawns. On the hard cold floor. I am so damn to shove PS down.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

juicy bits

j says: (12:14:45 PM)
today ur bday?

miryclay says: (12:15:12 PM)
yesterday! see you poopsy forgot!!!!!!!!!!!!

j says: (12:17:19 PM)
wah...dun like tat different time today is your yesterday i also yr will rem...i'll get it down on my notebook...dun worry,i will get something for u when i get back...

j says: (12:17:34 PM)

miryclay says: (12:17:52 PM)

miryclay says: (12:18:21 PM)
just bring urself back fast!!!!!! wah lau miss you here in school and at work! no friends to smoke with leh!

miryclay says: (12:18:37 PM)
hows jazz?

j says: (12:22:05 PM)
ermm..jazz is ok...

miryclay says: (12:22:46 PM)
hahaha.. you naughty! why put urself single on ur friendster? wah jazz see already sure heart pain

j says: (12:24:23 PM)
aiyoh...i very bad 1....she write me testimonial i delete loh...i noe i very bad...sure got karma i;ll try to be nice to her...

miryclay says: (12:24:51 PM)
WAH LAU! you are evil!

j says: (12:25:48 PM)
eh.....hey u noe wat///i kiss an angmoh yesterday....wah lan eh...neva had that kind of feelin b4...but sad to say,it ended there...haiz...

miryclay says: (12:26:34 PM)
kiss angmoh girl right>? not boy ar?

miryclay says: (12:26:42 PM)
what kinda feeling did you never have?

miryclay says: (12:26:45 PM)
she likes you?

j says: (12:27:19 PM)
nono...i mean kissin an angmoh...damn shoik...she cute somemore...wah lan...

j says: (12:28:22 PM)
feeling of kissin an unknown....

j says: (12:28:27 PM)

miryclay says: (12:29:08 PM)
she good at kissing or not? how come you ended up kissing her?

miryclay says: (12:29:50 PM)
hahaha. damn shiok. is such a funny word to describe the kiss

j says: (12:30:33 PM)
of cuz...

j says: (12:31:11 PM)
so damn excited...this is juz the beginning..i'm sure there are more to come....!!!!!!!! wahahaha

miryclay says: (12:31:53 PM)
wah lau.... more as in more kisses and more girls that will end up on your bed! MY GOODNESSS!!!!!

j says: (12:33:24 PM)
i think my room is big enuff for many many gers....hehe//queen size bed...1 person sleep very lonely

miryclay says: (12:33:25 PM)
now from a guy's point of view i sure am very happy for your conquests.. but from a girl's aspect, you evil nuts! got gf sstilll flirt around!

miryclay says: (12:34:03 PM)
hahahahahah wat a sob you are!! geez! luckily you not my bf. i will cry.

j says: (12:35:38 PM)
hey...i go have dinner k...tok to u again

j says: (12:36:08 PM)
take care..have a great post bday!!

that's j for you. typical. cheeky.

i dreamt of binny bin last night. hmm. ponders.


i don't think i have or can ever understand you.

i know i will miss you. but letting myself go of you is the only way i can regain my sanity and keep my emotions in check.

there, that move is but the beginning of abstinence. blocked. and out.

surprise me boo!

it's surprises after surprises.

1) first my brother gathering his forces to celebrate for me.

2) then my sister who attempted to gather my primary school friends to celebrate for me, though she wasn't quite successful but i've got to credit my loving sister for trying. in fact, without her, my brother wouldn't have, for his life, remembered my birthday! sis, thank you thank you thank you i love you though you think i don't.

i had reached nydc at heeren before her and had asked for a table for two, thinking it would be just the two of us. but, when she entered, she just pulled me and said we are shifting tables.

"for what? the table is alright."

"no i don't like sitting here."

and she just pointed to the table where there was one guy seated.

"girl. got people sitting here. don't be stupid lah. we move back."

"look carefully."

my primary school friend whom i haven't seen for more than a year! WOW. what a surprise. this however was quite effortless since my primary school friend is in the same architectural course as my sister. he offered to pay for dinner since he didn't get me any present. awww...

what's more was she actually had wanted to buy me a fossil watch that cost way way way too much at $139.90! my god, your sister (me myself) is cheapo and good watches will not last long on me! they are too delicate to withstand the jarring and roughness i handle them. and i like digital. so she said for me to choose what I want and she'll pay for it. can i just say that my sister is really really AWWWWWWesome!

3) so rushed down after dinner to timbre beside the old national library (thats when i saw keagan kang with his friends, fiona xie and her beau i think) to meet sunshine, fudge and sara. nevermind that i had to wait for them anxiously, fact is them showing up was already a blast for me.

fudge was not well and couldn't come. a let down but nevertheless, im contented. cos sunshine brought me a surprise (yes another one! that really thrilled me to bits!) - my close girlfriend in secondary school whom i've not seen since graduating from cedar! COWJINX! my my my my my! boy i am so so so happy!!! thank you sunshine, thank you cowjinx for turning up.

cowjinx brought cheese (from france leh) and we tucked into it happily while drinking our heineken. my favourite's the goat cheese. YUMS.

and to top that off, i must say sara is smashing!!! he was the one who bought me my beautiful and delicious cake and the one who got the present for me despite his busy schedule teaching in acs barker. i could love him for all this! and to think i missed his birthday, like how i missed mil's one. sheesh. i am so lousy.

cowjinx, sunshine and sara got me a watch! my! what a coincidence! thank goodness my sis hadn't bought me the fossil watch she intended to!

i left in a rush and only got to hug cownjinx my wonderful cowgirl. sara i owe him big big time. my numerous hugs and kisses won't be able to make it up to him for all he's done for me.

4) meanwhile i've made gjps and chern wait out for me at cablecar at cuppage. my bad sorry. but it's been a long time since i went out with sara or cowjinx or sunshine for that matter. there my night came to a close very very nicely, with gjps bringing out a small evian bottle of absolut kurant/ribena and making me drink of it. a small world to bump into sambuca lover there who's meeting his que pasa friends. not entirely too small since he was the one who brought us to cablecar. and i love that place. he bought me an extra glass of gin bitterlemon. im so happy. chern sent me back to hall and gave me a birthday kiss. nobody else gave me a birthday kiss! but him! haha! thanks pal.

sooo there my day is completed. who would have thought i can be so happy in one day. other than mv, which affected me slightly, my day is perfect. thanks guys for a brilliant birthday.

thanks to everybody who have wished me, from my blogger friends joel and mandrake to the chef greg and owner danny at timbre, to ergo, j, burnt paper, bighead and everyone else, thank you very nice.

the only thing, was i never ever took a photo with any of these peeps. a waste. but the memories will stay. they do. in this blog and in my heart!

i'm glad i didn't allow room for the crappiness i felt to manifest.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

fancy that?

i don't care much for flowery language when i blog.

i write not to impress (i have to during my o and a levels to show how zai i am to the examiners grading my english scripts ) but express how i feel.

simplicity of the english language is much better cos it spares me the headache of churning out proses or lovely proses that literature students so endear to.

say for eg, i need to shit!!!

compare this to i need to defecate, i need to take a dump, i need to excrete, i need to egest or even excuse me while i remove myself to the ladies?

plus it is less time consuming and also i do not wish for the feelings to pass me before i am done thinking of how to paint or structure a sentence beautifully

choking back

it sure doesn't feel good to have to read an old entry and find out on your own birthday that the friend whom you value very much isn't at all happy and pleased with you.

girlfriends a blessing and a chore too.

shit, tears are choking me up.

unbearable. where's that vodka bottle of mine?

2.1 decades on earth i've lived

happy 21st hatch day to myself.

thanks to all who have wished me. am very glad you guys remember. every single one of you.

just two hours ago, my brother called me down on the pretense to pass me my bi-monthly allowance.

a text from sunshine.

"happy big 21st dear..."

and when i walked down, dressed shabbily, only to realise a group of people were standing outside his room, and him holding a cake. with candles lighted.


my birthday cake. oh. my. a surprise for me.

and there amongst the people were my brother, his girfriend, his roomie, his two good friends who stay next door, his good friend's girlfriend and the orientation group members under his charge during the hall camp in which one of them has been a friend since kindergarten. and these people hardly know me.

*blinks away 3 drops of tears*

you know even though i am of so little significance to them, but at the request of my brother, they all came to make my day a little better. if these peeps who barely know me can celebrate with and for me, what more good friends whom I've known since years ago and a guy who has asked me to wait for him (or maybe i have mistaken)?

four other messages came. from the ex darth, mv, sambuca lover and my good ol brother zhen.

very very touched.

and of cos the various souls who wished me over msn, bittercoffee, marycherry, dr b, chern, mil, a guy from hall whom i've never even met and maggy mag. thanks thanks thanks. yes gjps called though an hour and twenty five minutes past 12! haha! appreciate your call girl.

my family wants to celebrate my birthday at our usual restaurant (the one we grew up having birthday dinners there) on saturday. have got to either give work a miss or go in for work earlier and leave earlier.

see how see how. hope the rest of the day will be fine.

Monday, September 05, 2005


a pet phrase of scrooge.

i should start adopting that.



i'm tired of this rollercoaster he's placed me in. ok, maybe a little more self-induced than not.

but whatever lah. whatever makes you happy. whatever works. i guess i should just go into recluse again.

why should i waste time waiting? why should i reserve a day for him knowing that well, he's most likely not gonna be there beside me wishing me a happy 21st? or even a happy belated 21st? why?

bah, humbug.

after being the ever so strong ever so solid ever there for people mummy cum love counsellor to gjps, ps, cc, leo, joey, max, j, marycherry and dr b, i'm tired with my fuel's running low.

i need my love guru mil.

my turn to gorge on being comforted.



Sunday, September 04, 2005

Don't cry for me argentina

I really hate crying. Plus, the tears are dirtying my ibook.

If love is so miserable, then I rather not love. I wish I was engineered to be a player, to break hearts than to have mine broken.

The person I hope most to spend my 21st with is you but I know you're busy. Very busy.

What else can I do but shrug it off? It's alright, I'll survive somehow somewhat.

I'm so glad I've still got 3 sticks and a bottle of absolut here with me tonight in hall.

Sigh. I am not looking forward to turning 21. Fuck 21. Yes, wish me happy birthday folks. I'll be needing the joy.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

i really hate to plan

So far,

The only birthday plans confirmed is dinner with sister in town on Tuesday.

The different groups of people whom I want to meet up includes:
1) Sunshine, Fudge and Sara
2) Marycherry and Dr B and oh Ril
3) GJPS, Maggy Mag and Sheryo
4) Colleagues
5) Bittercoffee
6) Zhen, Hua Hua, Zenith, Fish
7) Bloggers - Mandrake, Joel, Barffie, Naive Guy, etc
8) Others - Chern, Mil, Ed and maybe The Ex?

Shan't expect too much. I have got the nastiest feeling this year's birthday will turn out to be like last year's. Disappointing.

i am so sorry to hear that

I truly am.

Today, I found out that my good friend's father passed away. On Thursday.

Cardiac failure.

We spoke earlier on in the week as he mentioned of his dad's hospitalization since about a week plus ago.

But still, none of us expected this. It was just so sudden.

His mum and younger sister are upset, miserable and muddling along having to deal with the loss.

His brother seems ok.

And him, my, no wonder he had needed to talk to me.

Me counsellor? No. Me good friend there? Yes.

Take care pal. You can always count on me.

God, take care of this family even as I pray, to deliver them from the pain that binds them, and to grant them Your strength as they walk through this phase of loss and to shower Your love that Your joy may descend upon their home once again. Shelter them under Your wings Lord, as I commit them into Your hands of grace and comfort. Amen.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Legally New

Yep, and so finally, I tell myself that no man is worth my time but my friends.

I've finally acknowledged the fact that some people will only make good online chat mates and no more. Him being one case in point.

It's a brand new month and time I start afresh.

Life's too short for regrets.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

i'm past caring

just says: (8:53:58 PM)

just says: (8:54:06 PM)
i don't think ay really cares that deeply for your feelings

just says: (8:54:31 PM)
i don't think he's aware of the depth of influence his actions/words have over you

just says: (8:54:37 PM)
just says: (8:54:43 PM)
be happy!

just says: (8:54:43 PM)
date ard.

just says: (8:54:45 PM)
enjoy ur youth.

Point noted.

Elvish Em

My God.

I am damn damn damn tired.

What in the fuck was I thinking, going clubbing on a Wednesday night when I am penniless and have to wake up fucking early the next morning to sign my Tution Grant Agreement?

And baby, I tell you, me buying the Clinique Happy for Men have never been so right! I stank of smoke and alcohol vapors and all it took were 3 sprays (maximum 4) and I could meet my parents without them detecting that I had actually been out the whole night clubbing (since I was too tired to bathe).


Sure it didn't help that I've got to wait for the drunk boy to puke his guts out in the yucky toilet at Lido (That very same Ladies that I dropped my trusty 8210 right into the squatting toilet. Bloop! Shan't go into details here.), endure the stench and sights at the Gents and send a drunk boy home (yes again!).


This the price to pay for my lack of assertiveness in rejecting my friends.

Not to say that I didn't have fun with my colleagues (7 guys outnumbering just us two girls, GJPS and I) but there was just this constant nagging at the back of my head over my tons of work to do, immense shit load of stuff to read) that didn't allow me to enjoy thoroughly.

First and foremost, my UTMOST sincere apologies to Marycherry for the screwed up plans, cos of my negligence to call her up and inform her I'll be late being stuck in a meeting. She was sooo pissed! Now, I can't blame her for shouting at me or blowing her top off cos it was really MY fault. Sorry my dear. No repeats.

Anyway, I ended up at Plaza Singapura wanting to check out the rugs, mats, cushions and what not and by golly, are they costly! Had finally found something ideal to layer the rusty metal in my room but tight finances this month ain't allowing me to have the luxury of spending. I probably could just buy half a cushion with the grand amount of $8.60 in my wallet. How saddening.

Plans altered to meet Marycherry and Dr B in Suntec. I'm sorry I had to make Dr B fork out moolah for my share of turkish dinner and dessert at Secret Recipe. Well, does that then count for the advance I was supposed to get as Dr B's prospective daughter-in-law? Well you see, his son, Ril, is this stunning chap whom I was determined to lay my grubby paws on, the moment I came across his photo! Girls just need to take one glance at him and all pants would be charmed off! And 5-year-olds are real fun to play with (that coming from my experience of teaching the K1s and K2s back in Smart Science and the Sunday School classes)! And yes, it fulfils my maternal options of wanting a eurasian kid! Now I won't have to go sleep with any ang moh men and yet get what I want!

Yawns. Shit I made a bet with Elf on attending morning lectures. Darn I think I'll give it a pass. Having just that 1.5 hours of sleep isn't enough to replenish my system! So much so for us motivating each other to smoke lesser, drink lesser and attending more classes! He's like my perfect match in Heaven!!! And he's Hall King for Hall 1 no less! Woo Hoo.

Back on track, was bombarded by Joey to join him (and the rest) at Chinablack. WTF? Have got school and work to do you know? I not free lah. So a compromise made, to meet them at 10pm and leave the place by 11pm. In the end, I met them at 10.10pm (overshot Orchard Mrt and did a U-turn at Newton Station) and we ended up wasting the time away waiting and waiting for others till 1ish! FUCKING DU LAN can!


Had a VIP table thanks to the GM over in Chinablack who placed us on the guest list. The guys had 3 bottles of chivas (in which GJPS and I had but mouthfuls of the liquor). Danced, talked, and played games (including dares).

One of the few interesting things that took place include:

1) Having had PS to read my palm for me
Well according to him, I have a high sex drive and pretty high intelligent, would live a rather long life, and my career path will be alright. Now the high sex drive part is so untrue!!! Please, I have near zero libido!

2) Hearing about PS' story of his dysfunctional family
Was impressed not by his story-telling skills but how he made it through life despite the difficulties in his family and how he could keep up with his genuine smile given all the crap that he faces. Now this boy, thumbs up. Good catch girls. Nice fat ass, killer smile, sporty, witty and charming. Would have him for myself other than the fact he does not match up to my age and height requirements. But really, this guy's a stud. He likes simple girls by the way (not as in simple-minded, but the uncomplicated kind who don't ask for much in life, generally as happy-go-lucky as he is).

3) Getting violated by Joey literally.
I mean it. He was high, and gone. And KISSED me! Ee-ugh! Not our usual kisses on the cheeks but on the mouth. Wait, and his probing tongue! ARGH!!! Somebody pass me Dettol please? I really had to push him away! I don't mean this in a bad way, but for me, hugs and kisses on the face are the limits for very close guy friends. And when I say close, I mean people as close to me like my two brothers Zhen and Bittercoffee. And even then, I DO NOT have Zhen kissing me nor Bittercoffee hugging me! But oh my! This is really the limit.

4) Daredevils we are
Baby GJPS who still owed me 12 dares managed to strike 3 off the list when she accepted the challenge to get the name and number of our server. Then the ultimate test was when she placed a stake of 20 dares for dancing with The Ugly Gross Famous Grouse Gross. No prizes for guessing but she owes me 29 dares now. Poopsy. But it was really gross. Must have been the alcohol messing up my mind that I would be so crazy to dance with him. Luckily no body contact. Heng sia.

Reaching hall, logging in to MSN then talking to Elf online. He just got back to Hall from clubbing, but he was at Dbl O. Not sure if that's his usual hang out, but if it is, then unfortunately, I won't have much chances of clubbing with him.

Wanted to show his picture to baby GJPS hence logged into my Friendster and my gosh, voila! Found out he was Hall King! My my, he's of high profile in his hall. And me just the opposite. Funny how I end up having more friends in Hall 1 than my own Hall 5, the graveyard! Anyway, Elf, being low on cigarettes, walk over and borrowed mine. Damn. He ended up stealing my entire pack save for 1 stick which he so generously left me with. Did I mention he stays just 2 minutes away (from walking down the stairs to ground floor of my block, past Hall 5 canteen and the Orange and Green Blocks, turning left then down 2 or was it 3 rooms) and looks even cuter with his glasses? And he's tall! Also, most probably christian or catholic given his name! Yay!!! Very very ideal except he's of the same age as I am. Wails. Can't a girl just find the right person?